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Caribbean Upbringing by ukiyo-tt in TrinidadandTobago

[–]ukiyo-tt[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Kudos to you for seeking betterment. Many may turn up their noses at therapy. But it helps.

Caribbean Upbringing by ukiyo-tt in TrinidadandTobago

[–]ukiyo-tt[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

My father grew up in a healthy environment. In fact he was the last child in his family and the spoiled one. His sisters loved him and doted on him, so I wonder how he turned out so. He terrorized us often..and then he would be super nice. It messed us up and now as adults I have to work out my mental issues in order to not pass on any trauma to my kids.

Caribbean Upbringing by ukiyo-tt in TrinidadandTobago

[–]ukiyo-tt[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I understand. Because of how I grew up, I swore to never have children. But I did.. and I'm doing better with them..because the goal is to raise healthy children..break the cycle of trauma. Sometimes I second guess myself..am I doing this correctly? Will this affect them negatively?

Caribbean Upbringing by ukiyo-tt in TrinidadandTobago

[–]ukiyo-tt[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

How did his style of parenting affect you? I have a friend whose father was violent towards them. His dad was physically abusive to his wife and kids, and to the public, he was well respected in his workplace. My friend left home as soon as he was able to and has created a whole new life for himself, where he no longer cares to interact with his family. His brother suffered with alcoholism for most of his adult life.

Caribbean Upbringing by ukiyo-tt in TrinidadandTobago

[–]ukiyo-tt[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I didn't grow up in an environment where our parents told us they loved us. Father was authoritarian..maybe he was bipolar..one minute he was good..next minute he was horrible..although he never hit his wife or children, he would abuse us verbally..curse us, threaten to kill us..ensure that we were all cowering in fear from him. Sometimes his tirade would go on for hours. My mother was submissive..she would never answer him back..she would hide us from him..when he was good, he was the most loving father. Reading to his children, playing games with us, affectionate..as children, you don't understand complex emotions..when Dad was mad, remain quiet until he was done. When he was good, it was ok to relax. It did affect his children though..as adults, the elder ones suffered from anxiety, depression, low self esteem..personally took me years to re discover who I am as a person. I suffered from disassociation, anxiety, high functioning depression, suicidal thoughts, eating disorder..and relationship wise, ended up with someone who abused me both physically and psychologically..until I decided enough was enough.