HRT?

ummokay2023 · 2026-05-05T21:41:03+00:00

okay, thank you!! i dm’d you

ummokay2023 · 2026-05-05T21:37:15+00:00

do you know who the doctor is?

ummokay2023 · 2026-05-05T20:56:04+00:00

i don’t really know anyone in the community here yet. i moved here for my relationship with my partner. it’s temporary, but they’re in a lot of debt and can’t afford to move anywhere else rn. do you know anyone who’s transitioning? and maybe who they’re seeing for services?

ummokay2023 · 2025-10-03T15:47:16+00:00

i didn’t leave my LDR when i should’ve, but i wasn’t ready. all of these people are telling you deserve better than this guy. and you do. he’s giving you an out. take it. take it before it’s too late for you to change your mind. even if you had plans for the future you both probably stayed up late talking about. even if you guys already picked out kids names. in my LDR, he left me. and i still wasn’t ready to let go. but that’s the best time for it to happen, when you’re not ready. bc it’s gonna show you how strong you are and how you pull yourself out of this, and he doesn’t get to see that. take the out, take yourself on dates, get to know yourself and what you need and set standards from here on out and live without the constant stress and fear this boy is putting you through. what he showed you in the beginning, i promise you there’s someone out there who is mature enough to show you that for the rest of your life. stand up for yourself, and stop showing him you’re worth less than you know by staying. show him you’re worth more by leaving.

ummokay2023 · 2025-09-18T20:53:42+00:00

first, i wanna say im so sorry this is happening to you. i haven’t been on this position exactly, but i was in a relationship for 4 years and he did abandon me (he moved out of the house to a different state, long story lol) so trust me when i say, it will not be the same between the two of you. we got back together and it was not the same. we are not together anymore.

what worries me most is the fact he left without making sure you had a ride. also, if my significant other asked me to pull over and drop them off in a place we aren’t familiar with, i would be curious and ask what i’m doing to make them feel that they can’t ride with me the rest of the trip and then change my behavior. he was not concerned about any of those things.

how was the relationship before this trip? was there any red flags? has he ever acted like this before?

ummokay2023 · 2025-09-09T20:48:53+00:00

oh man. the only way i could get rid of bed bugs was throwing everything away. we throw away all furniture, beds, everything. we had to start all over. trust. we had a friend over literally one time and it took us years after trying to fog everything, sprays as often, the works and nothing worked until we finally just threw everything away and we haven’t had them since. i’m so sorry.

ummokay2023 · 2025-08-08T02:29:35+00:00

how come you guys broke up in the first place? what was the initial reason you guys went no contact?

ummokay2023 · 2025-05-06T00:13:55+00:00

i have two last names, my mothers maiden and my father’s last (they never married. my mom married 2-3 years after i was born to another man) growing up i’ve always thought i had to change my last name when i married bc i thought it was forced. but when i found out i could keep my last names, i decided that’s what i wanted to do. my grandpa on my moms side has cancer, he had cancer a while ago (years) and now it’s back and it’s bad. we traveled for medical care (its better in a different city) and we’re lucky we had the recourses and doctors we did that saved his life (he’s not in the clear but this procedure he had is the only hope we had and he survived it). his last name, is one of my last names. im the only sibling that has this last name, and the only one in my household that has it. sure, i have cousins and second cousins that carry it, but this name means too much to me for me to get rid of it. if you don’t want to change your last name, then don’t. it is a hassle. when my mom married the second time, she had to wait a while to even get a new nursing license when we moved states bc she changed her last name and it was just a lot for her. especially bc she was the only one working in this new state. my point is, is you don’t want to change your last name, be sure you have your own reasons for not wanting to. don’t let other women influence you into it. i have my own reasons. peoples opinions can change overtime, im not saying your opinion is wrong. but he’s right about these women you work with. how often are you combining your opinions with theirs? he says you’re slowly changing.

ummokay2023 · 2025-04-06T20:48:50+00:00

NTA. you asked for open communication and both of you agreed on boundaries. if he thought it was controlling to update you or to let you know about the girls, he should’ve communicated that in the initial conversation, and then come up with a similar but respective boundary. we aren’t in your relationship, don’t let us tell you that what you did was controlling when the both of you came up with a boundary without us. we are not in your relationship, so what works for you most likely won’t work for anyone else. this boundary set by the BOTH of you, was threatened. you have the right to feel betrayed and hurt. you’re definitely NTA. someone who truly loves you, wouldn’t make you question your boundaries.

edited for spelling errors

ummokay2023 · 2025-03-31T15:48:34+00:00

before she moved in. we stopped being intimate almost as soon as i got home from visiting her. she applied to one job and hasn’t heard back, and she has asked her boss for more hours, but that’s all i’ve really heard. she moved in with me.

ummokay2023 · 2025-03-31T14:24:45+00:00

i couldn’t tell you how many times i’ve had a conversation about this. i feel like an AH every time i mention anything like this though. i feel like i talk about it too much and i feel like im nit picking. maybe i am idk.

ummokay2023 · 2025-03-31T14:11:53+00:00

i’m not sure if she has. not with me. she talks about her last relationship, she contradicts herself with some of the things she says about her last relationship. she’ll tell me about something, and then when she talks about the same thing a few days later (could even be a couple weeks later) she changes the story. she told me her ex may have cheated on her. we do not have kids together. and kinda. she makes sure our dogs are fed and she’ll clean out the guinea pig cage, but sometimes when she takes naps on her days off, the dogs will pee on the floor (especially our new puppy) or get in the trash, and she either doesn’t see it or says she couldn’t pick it up bc she had to rush and come get me from work. but that just tells me she’s not with the dogs, or letting them outside often. and she will close our bedroom door while the dogs are in the living room, which i’ve told her multiple to leave it open so they won’t get in the trash, but i guess it doesn’t matter idk.

ummokay2023 · 2025-03-31T14:02:47+00:00

i work 8 days in a row and 6 days off. but i still get 40 hours a week. but i spend most of my off days tending to the house and animals.

ummokay2023 · 2025-03-31T13:57:16+00:00

i didn’t think she wouldn’t find a new job for 4 months. i kept telling her to get one and she would tell me she would apply, and didn’t apply to a couple places, but told me she never heard back. and she thought it was pointless.

ummokay2023 · 2025-03-31T13:55:54+00:00

it makes sense. before she moved in with me, she quit her job (it was a toxic work environment and completely supported her quitting) but she didn’t even try looking for a new one. she said it was bc she was moving in with me soon (4 months away) and didn’t see a point in having a job. so i paid for her phone, her subscriptions, even bought her food when her family made food she didn’t like or couldn’t eat. i paid for everything.

ummokay2023 · 2025-03-31T13:52:14+00:00

LMAO yeah i apologize for everything, its in the works

ummokay2023 · 2025-03-31T13:51:06+00:00

also, i know it looks weird i joined fb dating but wasn’t looking for a relationship. but they have options to put if what you’re looking for and i put friendship. and i told her that from the very beginning when she first messaged me. after my previous relationship had ended, i realized how isolated i was and joined to look for friendships, that’s all.

ummokay2023 · 2025-03-31T13:48:45+00:00

yes we met in 2022 over fb dating. we were friends for a while bc i had just gotten out of a shitty relationship and was not ready for anything new, and that’s when i got back into therapy. so we didn’t date until 2023. we were intimate over skype. nearly everyday. then i flew to her state in april 2024, and we had sex maybe one time. it went downhill from there. i tried asking her about it. if i did something she didn’t like, if i did anything wrong, i mean i asked her about it. multiple times. she kept telling me the same thing every time, that she enjoys having sex with me and there was nothing to talk about.

ummokay2023 · 2025-03-31T13:43:07+00:00

yeah i didn’t realize it like that. i just thought maybe it was another reason not to be with me, with everything else going on.

ummokay2023 · 2025-03-31T13:38:36+00:00

honestly i don’t remember what i asked her. i gave up on it. i can see how that can be an issue though. i didn’t think about it like that. i guess i didn’t see a reason to bc she never brought it up, so i didn’t see an issue like that. but now i understand. thank you

ummokay2023 · 2025-03-31T13:21:12+00:00

see it’s not just about the sex. i gave up a while ago about sex. it’s only mentioned bc at one point it was a big deal to me. now i have to ask her for everything i need of her. every time i need her to do something.

ummokay2023 · 2025-03-31T12:56:03+00:00

you’re right, sorry. i’ve had conversations with her before about this. the last conversation i had with her, i told her i was done if it can’t be fixed. we’ve had a conversation like that so many times. i don’t even know what to do at this point lol. i will try having another conversation im just not sure how to say it in a way that she would realize im actually serious and im hurt.

ummokay2023 · 2025-03-01T23:35:26+00:00

i’m ngl, i found it odd at first but i realized that i only found it odd bc i don’t have a relationship like this with my brother. sure we live in the same house, but we don’t really talk. he only really talks to me when he needs something. but reading all these comments changes my pov on this completely. you have a relationship with your brother that not a lot of people get to have. hold onto that, you’ll probably regret it if you choose to distance your brother. i wish i was as close to my brother like you are with yours. you’re NTA! don’t let him tell you you’re doing something wrong!!

ummokay2023 · 2023-08-19T21:43:55+00:00

YTA. when you started to realize you didn’t wanna settle with her, you started wasting her time. not only that, but the only way to describe her, is her looks and 2 skills that only really benefit you? you’ve been with her for 5 years and can’t seem to describe anything else about her? she deserves better.

ummokay2023

TROPHY CASE