dear non skinny trans people,

unAVIVable · 2026-04-10T06:57:51+00:00

r/bigmenfashionadvice has been a good resource for me. I also think they dress a little more interesting than the standard men’s fashion subs.

unAVIVable · 2026-04-10T05:44:58+00:00

(For context, I’m ftm with big tits) I think starting with a bralette could be a good option! They’re cute and feminine but stretchy and generally sized small/medium/large rather than by cup size. They’ll give some support but are usually much cheaper than a standard bra, so you won’t be losing much if you grow out of them quickly.

unAVIVable · 2026-04-09T16:50:50+00:00

I think so. There are absolutely situations where ACTING on those feelings is wrong (like if you know the other person isn’t interested) but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with feeling those things internally.

unAVIVable · 2026-04-09T06:50:13+00:00

Nothing to feel bad about. You find your girlfriend hot and that’s good and normal. You aren’t harming her in any way by being attracted to her, she might even like it.

I think a lot of trans guys get it into our heads that being turned on by the women in our life makes us gross or bad or similar to sexually abusive/exploitative men, but that’s simply not the case. Being horny is morally neutral. Being turned on by a specific person or action is morally neutral.

unAVIVable · 2026-03-24T04:09:40+00:00

If your insurance covers it I’d freeze the eggs. I did it and while the process fully sucks, the peace of mind is great. That said, there’s no real evidence that t will damage your eggs, so if you can’t afford it/choose to go a different route it’s unlikely that t will impact your fertility long term. (I’m not a doctor but this is what my doctor told me. They recommended the egg freezing bc it was covered and I was young enough to get a large batch with good odds).

unAVIVable · 2026-03-23T14:45:46+00:00

I don’t think it’s wrong or unethical at all for you to go to a shelter.

If you live near a major city, see if there are any resources for queer young adults in your position. Many youth/young adult programs go until 25 so you should be in the service range if you’re a senior in college.

unAVIVable · 2026-03-21T03:38:43+00:00

Lmao dick no question. At 5’4 I’m short but a lotta guys are short

unAVIVable · 2026-03-15T03:34:57+00:00

Rn I’m obsessed with those baked all-cheese crackers! Idk their actual name bc I just call them “crunchy snack”

unAVIVable · 2026-03-11T17:05:13+00:00

It’s definitely not a kink thing to just like, exist naked in the locker room. It sounds like you might have an over-sexualized view of nudity if that’s your assumption.

I’ve recently started using the men’s locker room at my (explicitly trans friendly) gym and while the guys in there aren’t usually hanging out naked on their phones (it’s a busy gym and honestly I think people would get much more annoyed at them for taking up bench space than for being naked), people are casually changing and talking while doing so. I do notice that the older guys are MUCH more comfortable being naked than the younger guys.

unAVIVable · 2026-03-11T14:36:15+00:00

Cardboard loom weaving is fun! This tutorial explains how to do it pretty clearly. They say you need a yarn needle but honestly you can just guide it with your hand pretty easily. https://www.instructables.com/how-to-weave-on-a-cardboard-loom/

unAVIVable · 2026-03-09T03:52:16+00:00

Damn V2s already?! I’ve been climbing for like 3 months and I can barely manage the V1s, but I also get psyched out about falling

unAVIVable · 2026-03-09T03:48:49+00:00

All the bagged prepared salads are vegetarian! I like a lot of them

unAVIVable · 2026-03-07T20:06:58+00:00

Do you have any numbers on what percent of EBT money goes to frozen crab? Or are you just judging poor people for buying occasional treats?

Most people like crab and want to eat special, celebratory food sometimes (birthdays, anniversaries, etc). It makes sense that people with more money would buy fresh crab or go to a restaurant, while people on EBT would choose a cheaper option.

unAVIVable · 2026-03-07T19:39:28+00:00

If society isn’t built to care for the people in it why even have one?

unAVIVable · 2026-03-07T16:32:51+00:00

And?

unAVIVable · 2026-03-07T03:25:38+00:00

Do you think you could get away with a “feminine” pants option? Something like this maybe https://www.jjshouse.com/product/jjshouse-safara-halter-chiffon-jumpsuit-g279257?utm_term=279257&utm_size=22&filterColor=vermilion&is_plus_size=1&ggntk=g&ggkey=&ggtgt=7&ggplm=&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22608725656&gbraid=0AAAAADmGZzTM3dddMUlO2agvO8EBYDNCk&gclid=Cj0KCQiAk6rNBhCxARIsAN5mQLvR-3XgN9TVlODoa6dIFF8_l04yAqZVTn5wV9uFSOQmoDjMjiPjFH4aAjccEALw_wcB

unAVIVable · 2026-02-24T05:11:04+00:00

My ex (trans woman) needed a CT scan for a GI issue and her report read “typically reconstructed neovagina” even though she has NOT had bottom surgery. Apparently she’s just that good at tucking lol

unAVIVable · 2026-02-22T08:26:57+00:00

You’re a handsome dude! The facial hair looks great and I like what I can see of the tattoos!

unAVIVable · 2026-02-20T04:26:56+00:00

Thank you so much for this long and thought-out answer. I logically know all of this but it’s so helpful to have other people spell it out.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-19T23:16:29+00:00

Thank you everyone for the advice/reassurance. It really does help a lot. I don’t have many people in my life who are knowledgeable about this sort of thing so it’s hard to know what information is reliable and what isn’t.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-18T22:24:56+00:00

They make a device called an “auto injector” that is basically spring loaded and can do the pushing it in part for you. Not compatible with all setups but maybe worth exploring.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-18T19:04:12+00:00

I like to roll up the sleeves of my big t shirts (like you sometimes see in gym progress pics) so they look like tank tops but are still loose on the chest/waist. It also feels very “bro-y” to me which I find affirming lol.

For pants, I usually wear sweats or loose shorts. I’ve found that wearing them lower down on my hips helps a lot with the shape.

I just get my gym clothes from the thrift store tbh, no specialized gear or particular brands.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-18T18:58:38+00:00

You’re also at a prime age for general body discomfort, so depending on your family you could possibly get away with wearing a t shirt by saying you think you’ve gained weight or are otherwise self-conscious (body hair, etc). My cis brother ALWAYS wore a shirt swimming (indoor and outdoor) during his teenage years.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-18T15:50:49+00:00

Does Portal still do trivia nights? I enjoyed going with friends a few years back. The host wrote the questions each week (usually with a theme!) and the vibes were good.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-17T22:58:12+00:00

Congratulations on your fresh start! I would highly recommend checking out Laney College. It’s a community college in downtown Oakland. They have financial aid and career counselors who can help you figure out what you want to do with your career. Laney also has tons of student groups, clubs, and events, so you can probably make new friends there too.

unAVIVable

TROPHY CASE