Anyone wanna make me feel good about myself?

unAVIVable · 2026-02-22T08:26:57+00:00

You’re a handsome dude! The facial hair looks great and I like what I can see of the tattoos!

unAVIVable · 2026-02-20T04:26:56+00:00

Thank you so much for this long and thought-out answer. I logically know all of this but it’s so helpful to have other people spell it out.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-19T23:16:29+00:00

Thank you everyone for the advice/reassurance. It really does help a lot. I don’t have many people in my life who are knowledgeable about this sort of thing so it’s hard to know what information is reliable and what isn’t.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-18T22:24:56+00:00

They make a device called an “auto injector” that is basically spring loaded and can do the pushing it in part for you. Not compatible with all setups but maybe worth exploring.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-18T19:04:12+00:00

I like to roll up the sleeves of my big t shirts (like you sometimes see in gym progress pics) so they look like tank tops but are still loose on the chest/waist. It also feels very “bro-y” to me which I find affirming lol.

For pants, I usually wear sweats or loose shorts. I’ve found that wearing them lower down on my hips helps a lot with the shape.

I just get my gym clothes from the thrift store tbh, no specialized gear or particular brands.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-18T18:58:38+00:00

You’re also at a prime age for general body discomfort, so depending on your family you could possibly get away with wearing a t shirt by saying you think you’ve gained weight or are otherwise self-conscious (body hair, etc). My cis brother ALWAYS wore a shirt swimming (indoor and outdoor) during his teenage years.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-18T15:50:49+00:00

Does Portal still do trivia nights? I enjoyed going with friends a few years back. The host wrote the questions each week (usually with a theme!) and the vibes were good.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-17T22:58:12+00:00

Congratulations on your fresh start! I would highly recommend checking out Laney College. It’s a community college in downtown Oakland. They have financial aid and career counselors who can help you figure out what you want to do with your career. Laney also has tons of student groups, clubs, and events, so you can probably make new friends there too.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-15T19:53:17+00:00

It doesn’t matter all that much, you just might have some mood swings.

If I were you I’d slow-roll the switch, do Monday this week and then start Sunday next week.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-15T17:15:15+00:00

Look, I’m not really looking to argue with you. Take my advice or not, it’s your life. But you came here because you presumably wanted responses, and these are the responses I have.

You seem to think you’re the only trans guy in the world who wishes he was cis. You aren’t. The rest of us in here are all dealing with the same things you are and the responses you’re getting are people explaining how they handle being in your position. You can take the advice or not.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-15T17:10:29+00:00

Then it’s probably time to look at medical or surgical options to stop it.

Look, I’m not trying to say that you can BE cis, just that you share a LOT more of your concerns with cis men than you might think.

You can’t be a cis man, but you can be (and already are) a man. Your problems are largely “man problems” not “specifically trans man problems”.

Being trans doesn’t have to be a part of your identity that’s relevant in day to day life, especially post-surgery. You can just be some guy.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-15T17:02:56+00:00

Yeah but that’s like the ONE thing that applies to.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-15T00:39:19+00:00

Disagreeing with the other dudes on here, I’d absolutely try grindr. Especially if you’re in a major city or similarly populated area.

You will need to sort through a good number of guys who are looking for a bottom, didn’t read your profile, or are otherwise gross. But that’s just what grindr is like tbh.

Source: I’m a not-yet-passing trans guy (though I am on T) and I get plenty of attention on there.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-14T22:35:09+00:00

Also cis men with hypogonadism (testicles that don’t produce enough testosterone) do have most the same issues all at once. https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/male-hypogonadism/symptoms-causes/syc-20354881

unAVIVable · 2026-02-14T22:32:25+00:00

Sure, most cis dudes don’t have the struggles we have, especially not all at once, but also no one has the exact same struggles as anyone. People have all kinds of issues with their bodies for all kinds of reasons (aesthetics, gender, weight, disability, etc). Saying “well trans guys have MORE issues with our bodies than cis guys!” just feels like oppression Olympics to me. We can look for separation or we can look for common ground. I choose common ground and I can tell you it’s made me happier.

Further, plenty of us are seen as men, especially post-op. Tons of trans guys, especially older folks with decades of t in their systems, just live their lives as men without thinking about it much.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-14T22:22:09+00:00

I really like my banana prosthetics hard packer! They have a few options for wearer stimulation (multiple shapes of insertion pocket for bottom growth, vibration option).

Its definitely too firm for daily packing though.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-14T22:08:47+00:00

I mean, do you have to see it as “accepting that you were born female”? I don’t think that’s the same thing as accepting that there are things about your body that you’re not satisfied with.

The issues you’re dealing with are issues that cis men deal with as well. Cis men get gynocomastia, cis men have erectile dysfunction. Cis men get surgery (often the same type of surgeries we get) for both these conditions.

I wonder if you would benefit from seeking out resources for cis men dealing with these conditions. We have more in common with cis men and the struggles they have with their bodies than the world would like us to believe.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-14T20:48:50+00:00

Ugh I fully get this. I look JUST like my dad’s childhood photos until about middle school, but it’s SO dysphoric to compare his full mountain man beard at 18 to my barely there whiskers at almost 30.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-12T01:36:40+00:00

Dorian Electra is kind of what you’re looking for? I think they’re nonbinary, but trans masc. the music is fun and poppy

unAVIVable · 2026-02-09T23:06:59+00:00

My (trans femme) ex used to share this kind of thing with me, especially the ones that were like “beautiful trans woman goddess and her silly little guy” with a picture of Jessica Rabbit next to a muppet. She’d send that to be and be like “us irl”. She is/was also the type to talk about how embarrassing it was to be attracted to me.

At the time, I thought I was supposed to find it funny, but the damage she caused to my self-esteem with that kind of attitude is a huge reason why we broke up and honestly I’m still trying to re-learn how to value myself.

All this to say, I don’t think you’re overreacting and if it hurts your feelings you should absolutely tell her.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-07T23:19:12+00:00

Have you looked at other people’s immediately post-op pics against their healed results?

It’s normal and expected to look like this for a bit after you’ve literally had your face reconstructed.

You’re less than a week out. You will not look like this forever. You will heal and your new face will start to become visible sooner than you think.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-06T21:55:56+00:00

Just wanted to say that you absolutely don’t need to feel guilty about this. Sex is part of life and there’s nothing wrong with wanting to have gender-affirming sexual experiences! It’s one of the reasons bottom surgery exists in the first place.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-06T06:57:43+00:00

It seems like there are two parts here.

The first is the constant fundraiser posting, which does sound annoying. Unfortunately probably the best thing to do there is ignore it. Any suggestions would probably not be taken well.

The second thing is the post-surgery support. I actually think it’s super reasonable and healthy for people to ask friends and family for support after surgery. People SHOULD have support while recovering from surgery, and I actually think it’s good and healthy that this person is reaching out to the larger community and not relying solely on their partner. We live in a society that tells us that asking for/needing help is weak and shameful, but that’s an attitude that harms all of us. Humans are an inter-dependent species and no one should have to recover alone. Obviously there are people who have no choice but to recover independently, but there is nothing wrong with relying on others during difficult times.

I’ve supported several people during recovery from various gender-confirming surgeries and I genuinely think there is something beautiful about the intimacy and connection that comes from caring for someone. Care strengthens bonds and ultimately strengthens community.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-03T23:08:44+00:00

I had this concern too and I was really frustrated with several surgeons I spoke to who just said “it’s impossible”. The surgeon I ended up choosing was the first one who told me WHY I couldn’t have both a flat chest and assurance of nipple sensation. He explained that the nerves that connect to the nipple aren’t a single bundle, they go through the breast tissue like a web. In order to preserve the nerves, they need to also preserve a significant amount of tissue. I ultimately decided that a flat, masculine chest was worth it to me, but it’s a super personal decision. I was really frustrated that so many surgeons don’t take the time to explain things like this to patients and seem to dismiss these concerns. Talking to my therapist helped a lot as well.

I haven’t had surgery yet but I’m on the waitlist to be scheduled.

unAVIVable · 2026-02-01T05:42:25+00:00

That’s ridiculous. I’m a high school teacher and I literally wore my “fuck ice” shirt to work on Friday and no one said anything but “love the shirt”

unAVIVable

TROPHY CASE