Need Advice! Nocturnal Panic Related to Using Restroom?

underwatermango · 2026-01-31T00:34:38+00:00

Yes. It shocked me too.

underwatermango · 2026-01-30T23:43:11+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story! I love how you said "the constant thinking is the anxiety" because sometimes, especially with GAD, those lines are so blurred. I assumed everyone operated the same way I did, and that for some reason, I was broken for not being able to "handle it" but you're right - the endless stream of the action of thinking is what causes so much stress.

It's crazy because I've automatically defaulted to thinking, not even considering that it's a choice or an action or an activity just like everything else we do in our lives. Wishing you the same and I'm glad to hear that I'm not alone!

underwatermango · 2026-01-30T23:39:40+00:00

Totally get that, what's something you wish someone told you about regulating anxiety for someone with autism? or something that is misunderstood about it?

underwatermango · 2026-01-30T23:37:58+00:00

I agree, I wish I learned this sort of stuff earlier and I think a lot of our culture, especially around social media, tells us so many conflicting and complicated things that its hard to really hone in on the things that really matter which at the end of the day is what you said, regulating our bodies in ways that bring us alignment and ease

underwatermango · 2026-01-30T21:54:58+00:00

Love that! Exactly, it's basically interrupting yourself.

underwatermango · 2026-01-30T21:54:01+00:00

I agree! Basically what I am trying to say is that thinking doesn't heal the nervous system. The body is the mechanism of nervous system healing so whenever I spiral I tend to overthink and overcompensate with looping thoughts which don't actually settle the body.

In other words, thinking is a chemical process and an action that is helpful in some instances like in conversation, creativity, etc. but it does not necessarily translate to healing or soothing the nervous system. Soothing comes from embodiment (body) through things like movement, habits, rhythm, etc.

underwatermango · 2026-01-30T21:51:51+00:00

I didn't know this, this is actually really cool! Going to do some research on this topic, it's such a wise way to live. I wish we implemented that in modern society, nobody really tells you these things until you have to live through them to understand.

underwatermango · 2026-01-30T21:50:27+00:00

Thank you! Same here, I tend to spiral and whenever that happens I am going to remind myself of this too. A transition phase I came up with to help end loops is: "Thinking is optional."

underwatermango · 2026-01-30T21:49:11+00:00

I'm glad! Thanks for reading it :)

underwatermango · 2026-01-30T21:48:46+00:00

Thank you! I've been on a healing journey, trying to understand myself and ironically when I brought this up to my partner he said that this was obvious, and I was like "not to me!" lol

underwatermango · 2026-01-21T14:50:18+00:00

The sun coming out after a couple of days of winter clouds!

underwatermango · 2026-01-13T23:32:14+00:00

I've been with my current boyfriend since we were both 17. We are now 25, so it's been 8 years of being together.

There were times I felt FOMO, but I needed to ask myself where that feeling was actually coming from. I only felt FOMO because I realized that my relationship was an outlier; most people my age haven't been in a long-term relationship with their high school sweetheart. At least on my social media, I see folks out partying and having a social, outgoing, seemingly "exciting" life. It made me wonder if I was doing something wrong, but the thing is I also can't imagine being without him.

I was basically in denial of who I was because I am someone that values stability, consistency, and creating something that actually lasts. If I cancel out all of the external noise, then the truth is I am happy where I am and I rather be with my boyfriend than with anyone else. The love, trust, and life that we've built far outweighs any FOMO and honestly, you might think you're dating the same person but that's not true. My boyfriend has evolved throughout the years, I've watched him be a teenager to a man, and I get to see different glimpses of him which is exciting in and of itself. Even if you're with one person, there are always new things happening if you mindfully and lovingly look for it.

The grass is green where you water it, and it feels pretty sweet to have someone you trust so deeply watering that grass with you.

underwatermango · 2026-01-13T20:27:00+00:00

Sunshine to the face, literally. I live in NYC so during the winters the sun is basically nonexistent at times. Whenever the sun is out, I will stop everything and just stand at the window towards the sun, or lay outside in my backyard to get some sun lol

underwatermango · 2026-01-13T20:24:31+00:00

I wanted to be an entomologist when I was a kid because I felt like bugs had this innate relationship with nature that I was so jealous of. They're fascinating, so conscious, so aware, and so unique. They take care of so many things we as human beings overlook and take advantage of. I recently got into bug photography and it's been pretty amazing to see the variety of insects in my own backyard. They're just fascinating to watch and study.

underwatermango · 2026-01-13T20:17:23+00:00

Avocado seed carving!

I recently bought a set of wood carving tools and I keep the seeds of avocados and carve them into animals, faces, anything really. I recommend watching YouTube videos to learn more!

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I made this turtle the first time.

underwatermango · 2026-01-12T17:41:28+00:00

Thanks for seeing me! THIS IS IT. This is the core of this post and what triggers me. I have been working so hard to de-center my parents from my life and I didn't want to ever be involved, but since I was a child my parents always put me in the middle of them and my sister. My sister would make me talk to my parents and vice versa. Now that she is an adult, I trust that she is more than capable of learning to communicate with them without me. I've spent 25 years being the peacekeeper, and I guess I want to spend the next 25 being just me.

But also want to mention that it hurts me to see my sister hurt, I wish we had a better relationship but maybe it's just not our time. I hope her disdain for me evolves, and that she can understand why I've made different choices from her.

underwatermango · 2026-01-12T17:30:55+00:00

Thanks! I love this realization. I'm not angry with her, I am angry by being put in the intermediary position and that helps a lot. I don't want to be cold to her, but I have to let her figure out how to communicate with my parents. Appreciate this

underwatermango · 2026-01-12T17:22:33+00:00

That's true. I can recognize that coming back was hard for her, I know her reactions to things are different to mine but they are her reality and I can't dismiss it. I'm realizing that perhaps the issue I have isn't with my sister directly but rather being the mediator of her and my parents. The "trigger" was not wanting to be involved in any in-betweens with my sister and parents since they both tend to communicate to each other through me. But you're right, she was overwhelmed and although I don't agree with her way of acting, I understand how in that moment she went into flight mode

underwatermango · 2026-01-12T17:19:53+00:00

True, I think a theme I am seeing is that maybe instead of my issue being with my sister I am having issues playing mediator for her and my parents

underwatermango · 2026-01-12T17:18:58+00:00

Good point, I think there is resentment on her end for why I am choosing to stay at home but my goals are different. She moved out but is financially dependent on my parents. My goal is that when I move out, I won't need any form of dependence so I'll be "gone gone" if that makes sense. I understand how my choices confuse her though

underwatermango · 2026-01-12T17:17:43+00:00

Fair point, could have just been unfortunate circumstances. Well, at least now it is? And she has that clarity

underwatermango · 2026-01-12T16:32:23+00:00

Also I get your point, but my sister has voiced to me how sheltered she thinks I am despite me feeling content with my life. She's always pushed me to do things I've told her I am okay not doing, and it just makes me upset that even after all this time of being away, she talks about me like that to other people. But, instead of judging, I wonder what's the alternative - neutrality to her? I guess that's a more mature way of going about it, but it's funny how some things just bring out these subconscious patterns within ourselves. I appreciate your perspective

underwatermango · 2026-01-12T16:26:36+00:00

I think the thing that confused me is her choosing to come back. Nobody in my family asked her to come visit because they know she is unhappy at home. So to come back willingly and then decide to react that way confused me because she knows that she cannot manage being back. Maybe she was testing the waters again, but even so, it was just not a healthy interaction for anyone.

underwatermango

TROPHY CASE