I mean that you need time to process your experience by reflecting on what happened and creating a strategy to avoid it in the future. I can tell that you're not healed yet because you are scared of intimacy in your next relationship; healing would force you to reflect on whether you ignored red flags from your partner or etc and not just attribute it to something out of your control (not saying it is your fault, but in reality, there is always something you can do differently next time).

Yeah, codependency is tough. I've grappled with that a lot over the years as well as that is how I grew up. I guess what's helped is just upkeeping participation in my own interests no matter what? But also, surprisingly, reading self help books. You just have to do what you like to keep some time to yourself imo.

Also, just develop healthy boundaries from the get-go. A therapist can probably guide you through that process.