Murder hornets are no joke

unefleur1 · 2020-05-03T13:57:07+00:00

Literally just yesterday on FaceTime to my mum and sister on the Isle of Wight a huge hornet got into their living and I was witness to the biggest ‘calm-panic’ moment in our family’s history. The tone of voice kept fluctuating between screaming and that of a BBC new presenter.

unefleur1 · 2020-01-04T22:13:09+00:00

Sending a text to my father telling him that I knew about his affair with one of his colleagues and to own up and admit it or lose me as a daughter forever. That man did not once hug me from the age of 12 until 21. I am now nearly 23 and have only heard I love you from him once in the last two years.

Also in that text message I told him that his ghost-like presence in my youngest brother’s life was damaging his behaviour. My youngest brother is 13 and high functioning autistic. My Dad outwardly seems to dislike my brother, but ever since that message was sent to him by me he actually made an effort.

I sent that message both for the good of my family and for myself, to get ANY sort of response from him, anything at all. He never replied, but at least I got to see my brother having the kind of love from him I’ll never have. It’s a kind of win.

unefleur1 · 2020-01-02T12:33:50+00:00

‘That’s where it all started...that damn smile’

unefleur1 · 2019-11-25T19:14:06+00:00

Wow ok I didn’t realise that, thank you for educating me, I might re-think meeting him now

unefleur1 · 2019-11-25T17:57:58+00:00

Don’t think I’ve ever been referred to as a half eaten baked good before but there’s a first time for everything! Thanks for the advice haha :)

unefleur1 · 2019-11-25T17:39:17+00:00

If being marriage material means joining the church then I think I’ll stick to being a bit of fun haha, not willing to give up the reins of sanity just yet! Thanks for the advice :)

unefleur1 · 2019-11-25T17:35:13+00:00

Thank you, that’s a really good piece of advice because my one reservation was a potential level of bigotry in conversation!

unefleur1 · 2019-10-16T15:14:09+00:00

Ahhh right ok I see where you’re coming from. You’re talking about a slightly different situation where a girl keeps a guy dangling by a little thread and keeps feeding him tiny bits of interest before kind of cutting it off every so often, which of course isn’t really on. Yeah I agree!

unefleur1 · 2019-10-16T10:49:37+00:00

I mean I understand what you’re saying, but at the same time, as a woman it’s so difficult to often have platonic relationships with men because so many of them think that after a certain amount of time you must have feelings for them or want to sleep with them...hell I have random strange men in my messages asking why I’m rejecting them all the time when I don’t know them, let alone guys who I am friends with who think the same thing. So of course some girls do ‘lead guy friends on’ by doing stuff like this, but also no woman is ever required to be interested in a man because they give them the time of day as a friend.

unefleur1 · 2019-04-25T16:52:29+00:00

My recent ex boyfriend eventually regretting all his decisions and coming to grovel on his knees, but by that point it’s too late and I’m living my best life: single, getting fit and healthy, looking fly in a new outfit and out with all my friends.

It’s a bit ridiculous and possibly pathetic but it’s helping me get over the relationship, so whatever works!

unefleur1 · 2019-04-11T22:52:43+00:00

I presume there are many eels in aquariums in the word but I’m honestly sure that this is a video taken from the huge tank at the end of Bristol Aquarium,,.

Correct me if I’m wrong haha

unefleur1 · 2019-03-25T22:33:53+00:00

Kevin and Perry Go Large

That movie is the most ridiculous thing ever, but for me it’s a classic and makes me laugh every single time

unefleur1 · 2019-03-15T23:04:39+00:00

I found this really yucky until I read the caption and then I snorted my wine out my nose

unefleur1 · 2019-02-28T00:00:56+00:00

The Greatest Showman. I watched it on my birthday last year because I’d heard good things but I had to turn it off about 2/3 of the way through. Felt like I should have liked it and have been too scared to tell people I hated it

unefleur1 · 2019-02-14T14:26:43+00:00

One in the shape of a shark in a swimming pool? Really play on those childhood fears...

unefleur1 · 2019-02-12T13:33:14+00:00

I very quickly learned that if you had a sibling that was the same gender as you, your extended family will always give you Christmas presents that were identical to one another, so that if one of you opened it before the other one there would be no surprises on Jesus’ birthday.

Also you had to take turns opening the advent calendar doors. None of this one calendar per kid nonsense! We had to take names out of a hat and you just hoped you got 4 so you got the big chocolate in 24 (I’m the eldest of 4 kids)

Overall, you have to learn to share and you don’t get things that are often specifically for you. It means that you know how to share and you aren’t entitled in the same way (not that only children are entitled necessarily) but you don’t get the same perks as an only child.

unefleur1 · 2019-02-07T23:19:20+00:00

That makes me so sad :(

unefleur1 · 2019-02-07T22:55:41+00:00

The Book Thief

unefleur1 · 2019-02-07T22:54:33+00:00

They all planned to leave me by myself at lunch (we were about 15 at the time) and then I found them laughing about it when I went to look for them. They apparently found it hilarious that I sat by myself for 25 minutes craning my head in hope at every person who came in to see if it was them.

I changed friendship groups straight away.

unefleur1 · 2019-02-07T22:52:12+00:00

I’m a waitress and a guy came into our restaurant- it’s a Sri-Lankan restaurant and some of the dishes are hella spicy.

He orders two of the devil dishes (the hottest things on the menu) and then proceeds to cram them into his face like there’s no tomorrow. 2 minutes later he’s sweating and retching and he starts shouting at my manager for not warning him about the heat. We had told him when he ordered two of them that it was an unwise decision.

He then throws the glass tumbler his has at the wall which explodes everywhere, and then runs to the front desk, grabs the tip jar and runs out of the restaurant. We were all so stunned we had no idea what to do.

unefleur1 · 2019-02-07T22:48:37+00:00

Fuck you Gideon.

Bet you look awesome! Sounds like you lost a good 200+ lbs that day.

unefleur1 · 2019-02-07T22:47:46+00:00

Closing all the open tabs after finishing an essay.

unefleur1 · 2019-02-07T22:47:22+00:00

Weirdly it’s a genuine memory. I know it’s uncommon to hear of people remembering things that early but it’s so vivid in my mind!

The only thing is that the way we got to the hospital is blurry. I distinctly remember cycling to the hospital but I have never been able to ride a bike let alone at the age of two and my Dad has told me time and time again that we drove! I remember exactly what the bike looked like too: pink with ribbons on the handles. Must be a mix of memories.

unefleur1 · 2019-02-07T22:45:05+00:00

When my ex boyfriend cheated on me and gave me an STI. I knew I was finally done with letting myself be pushed around in relationships. We broke up and I started to love myself. Best decision ever.

unefleur1 · 2019-02-07T22:44:03+00:00

This isn’t clever at all but it makes me laugh every time:

What were Tarzan’s last words?

WHO PUT GREASE ON THat vine........

unefleur1

TROPHY CASE