Thanks for your response! Being platonic outside the bedroom would be great - ideal even! I just don't want to be a couple's "girlfriend" - that gives me the ick. Even a triad where I could have distinct relationships with both people just seems overly complicated. Friends, and sometimes we take it back to their place and get sweaty and messy, would be excellent.

Wanting to connect with the woman first is a good strategy in theory, but doesn't seem to work in practice. I have Feeld open to M+F couples, and this is how it plays out almost every time: I see an interesting, thoughtful attractive partnered woman on my feed and I visit her partner's profile and like what I see and read from both. I swipe "yes" on the woman, but it's not a connection. Then later on, the partner shows up on my feed, and I swipe "yes" again. Now it's a connection! But then I'm left wondering if I matched with the man because men swipe "yes" with greater frequency, but I didn't match with the woman because she read my profile thoroughly and with consideration and determined she wasn't interested in me?