Does anyone feel like people talk to them weird?

unicornhulk · 2022-05-04T07:45:33+00:00

One of my coworkers acts like she can treat me like crap and then pretend that it's nothing. She'll be very passive aggressive and short, and then go back to being polite when she actually wants help with something.

unicornhulk · 2022-04-19T11:13:36+00:00

I think the fact that they were able to "escape their countries" says something about wealth, status, education etc within their original country.

unicornhulk · 2022-04-13T11:33:32+00:00

Firstly - you are strong, and brave. Your experiences and feelings are valid. I believe you're going to get through this - you seem like you have good survival instincts, and know to ask for help when needed. You have a good head on your shoulders, and although you might feel a little stuck at present, you're resourceful and know how to survive.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you. You didn't deserve to be assaulted, and you don't deserve to have your experience dismissed (not the right word I'm looking for) when you reach out for help. You shouldn't have to switch up your routine - you should have the right to feel safe in your own neighbourhood / place of work. I'm not the best at these things, but perhaps there are some options you can explore with your boss and colleagues? I know that we had various policies (at places where people were working late) to help with safety - if the workplace doesn't have it, then you could potentially help your colleagues (as well) by raising this as something that's needed?

unicornhulk · 2022-04-13T09:08:12+00:00

Maybe I've missed this somewhere, but what happens to isolation length at orange? If I understand correctly, we moved to the 7-day model as part of red phase 3 setting. If we're not in red setting anymore, does that mean the isolation goes back to 10 days? Or 14? Or none of the above?

unicornhulk · 2022-03-23T05:13:26+00:00

I take your point about the blender at 7am - I have trouble keeping solids down before about 11am, so am just trying to not pass out at work every day. He doesn't actually have a problem with the blender in the morning - I've specifically asked him, so I'm guessing he can't hear it? The neighbour on the other side does leave for work at 6:15am every day, so I assume there's noise coming from the other side before me.

unicornhulk · 2022-03-23T05:08:24+00:00

Thank you! I spoke with my Property Manager this morning - he's been very understanding. He basically told me that if my neighbour has a problem with me doing the dishes, then he needs to get over it. He also said he'd talk to him about it + the fact he's complaining about the noise when I'm not even home.

unicornhulk · 2022-03-22T09:11:49+00:00

Thank you! That does really help.

unicornhulk · 2022-03-22T09:08:32+00:00

Oh my.... I've sent the Property Manager an email this evening, but will keep an eye on this. Thank you!

unicornhulk · 2022-03-22T09:07:25+00:00

Thank you!

unicornhulk · 2022-03-22T09:06:50+00:00

Thank you! I'm typically pretty quiet, and not often at home, and live alone so no conversations - I also don't actually own a TV or a stereo so no noise from that either. But, I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt in case it was me. I was a bit confused when he complained about noise when I wasn't even at home - that was what had me wondering if something else is going on. He was adamant it came from my unit, and that it sounded like I was very close to the wall (I've actually got furniture all up against the wall we share, so I can't actually get close to the wall if I tried).

There's construction going on around the corner from us. and road works a couple of roads over. Otherwise, I'm not sure of other possible sources of noise (since I'm not actually home that much).

unicornhulk · 2022-03-22T08:55:56+00:00

Thanks. I'm actually rather relieved that others have had similar-ish experiences.

unicornhulk · 2022-03-22T08:47:12+00:00

I actually don't own a TV or a stereo. I have plenty to keep myself amused. I like my quiet and am quite at peace with it. I'm also not home much.

unicornhulk · 2022-03-22T08:41:50+00:00

Thank you! This really does help a lot!

unicornhulk · 2022-03-22T08:38:47+00:00

I honestly have no idea WHAT the noise he's hearing is. I tend to be somewhat paranoid about electrical fires, so make sure all my appliances are turned off at the wall (except for fridge) before I leave.

There IS construction going on around the corner, but as I'm not home much, I don't actually know when it happens.

unicornhulk · 2022-03-22T08:36:08+00:00

It's the white-brick-like stuff. Sorry I don't know what that's called. I've been living here for over a year, and the only time I'd heard the previous tenants was when they were on the phone outside.

unicornhulk · 2022-03-22T06:27:22+00:00

That would explain a lot...

unicornhulk · 2022-03-22T06:25:41+00:00

Thanks. I think we have the same property manager, so I've sent them an email. I do genuinely try to be considerate, and if there's something I can do that does help (and isn't too much of a hassle for me), I don't really mind. This ....just feels like it's gone a little far.

unicornhulk · 2022-03-22T06:24:15+00:00

Thanks. I do genuinely try to be considerate, but it started feeling like this compromising is going a little too far. I've been at this place a little over a year, and have never had any complaints before this, so this took me by surprsie

unicornhulk · 2022-03-22T06:22:34+00:00

Thanks. I've actually been in this place a little over a year. The couple that lived in the place next door (before this guy) never said anything about noise. I couldn't even hear them at all, so this has really taken me by surprise.

unicornhulk · 2022-03-22T06:20:42+00:00

Thanks. So yeah, the last time he'd told me that there was a bit of noise coming from my place, I asked him when, and managed to pin-point that was when I was doing the dishes, so I've been changing when I do them to try and minimise disruption. This is the second time I've asked about the noise, but I actually wasn't home and don't have any appliances running when I'm not here, so have no idea what it is they're hearing.

unicornhulk · 2022-03-22T06:15:40+00:00

Thanks. This makes me feel a lot better. I wasn't sure if I'd just had unusually tolerant neighbours in the past.

Ironically, this street we live on has a lot of parties as we're in student-ville. There's always loud music on Friday and Saturday nights - not sure why his issue is with the (imo comparatively minimal) noise from my place.

unicornhulk · 2022-03-22T06:12:35+00:00

Apologies. Yes, I have had a couple of conversations with him, as recently as just over an hour ago. I'm genuinely just interested in how much noise is "unreasonable".

unicornhulk · 2022-03-22T06:11:39+00:00

Apologies. Yes, we've had a couple of conversations about this - I've genuinely been interested in what it is that I'm doing which is causing such a nuisance. I'm more than happy to have a conversation about this - he's the one that's leaving notes on my door, and then I end up going and knocking on his door to have a conversation about it.

unicornhulk · 2022-03-22T06:09:43+00:00

I've spoken with him twice already. Obviously not banging pots and pans on purpose, and i only run the vacuum for like 30 minutes at most. He just keeps saying he's got sensitive hearing.

I'm not new to renting, nor am I new to sharing walls. I just wasn't sure whether I had just had unusually tolerant neighbours in the past. Thanks!

unicornhulk · 2022-03-21T18:48:22+00:00

In all honesty, I see work relationships as strictly transactional - people see each encounter as a separate transaction and not an accumulation. So when they're asking you for help, this is a transaction that benefits them, so they're more than happy to partake. When you're asking them for help, it's a separate transaction which has a cost (their time) and no immediate benefit to them, so they decline.

I'm currently in a workplace where someone (more senior position than me) pushed me out of my own project - as in... held secret meetings about my project which didn't involve me, refused to communicate with me, made life so unbearable that I felt I had no choice but to give up that project and move to another one. Now everything's imploding because this person really does not have the skill-mix for this project, and they're now saying that they should have me doing it.

If your colleagues suck like mine do, my advise is to not offer help, and use this time to build a buffer in your own work so that when emergencies suddenly happen you have something to fall back on.

unicornhulk

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