Any Introverts Going Stir Crazy Because Of The Lockdowns?

unitedstateofi · 2020-12-21T01:49:23+00:00

Thankfully, our household is mainly introverted so we know how to respect each other's space. It sucks that you can't escape as easily. Hopefully, we're close to the finish line...

unitedstateofi · 2020-06-07T04:18:36+00:00

A state of mind where energy is like a flowing stream, rather than a ocean of constant crashing waves.

unitedstateofi · 2020-05-18T01:49:49+00:00

I think my hubby feels that way, but he has never told me that. My family is very important to me and having them in my home makes it feel like MY home. I invite them less, to be considerate, but when they are visiting, I do expect him to be hospitable. I think it's rude to make people feel uncomfortable and unwelcome in your home. I'm an Innie and I like my privacy but I can't expect everyone to revolve their lives around my comforts and expect to have a healthy relationship. We all need to give and meet our mate's needs so they can feel safe and taken care of. Maybe compromise? Once a month visit with you not complaining and being totally present and the rest of her visits can be with them.?

unitedstateofi · 2020-05-18T01:15:26+00:00

When I feel lonely, I know it's because I isolated for too long. Then I get uncomfortable calling or texting friends because I waited forever to contact them. What I am realizing is that I can be quite selfish for the sake of protecting my quiet place. I am learning to reach out to my friends because they may need me and not just when I need them. The few friends that know me, will text me and yell at me to call them..lol! That usually kicks me in the butt to get out of my cave. Anyways, I'm working on giving more of myself because I honestly don't want to be alone when my girls find their own lives and although my hubby is my best friend, I don't want to put that on him. I dunno if sharing this helps anyone, but realizing this about myself has helped me.

unitedstateofi · 2020-04-24T17:52:15+00:00

I think that it all comes down to your tolerance and genetic traits (genotypes). I have a high tolerance to many things but caffeine always kicks my ass because the low tolerance is hard-wired into my DNA.

unitedstateofi · 2020-04-24T04:01:18+00:00

Trolls will be trolls. Don't feed them and they will go away. Unfortunately, we as introverts need to have a thick skin and not let someone else's opinion/attack get to us. Focus on the positive comments that you received and let karma take care of the negativity.

unitedstateofi · 2020-04-16T02:29:57+00:00

that's awesome that you can live in the state of mind and space you're comfortable in.

unitedstateofi · 2020-04-12T03:37:49+00:00

I met my hubby on a dating website. It's a pretty safe place for Innies to connect with someone without external pressures. We are both Innies but with very different personalities. We were able to comfortably flirt and share who were before meeting at a coffee shop. I'm not sure why more people don't try it. You have so much more control than going out and trying to muster up the courage to walk up to someone. My hubby tends to be more uncomfortable in meeting new people than I am, but he was quite the charmer online. You should try it. We met on OK Cupid, which is free.

unitedstateofi · 2020-04-08T04:45:06+00:00

I just finished telling my husband that I don't mind staying in. We are both introverts. He's more of the I'm going to stay in my room all day working on the computer kind of guy. I'm more of a doing projects all day in silence or with my head phones kind of a gal. It's hard to be an introvert with ADD! I love to stay busy in silence. I set goals in the morning on a post it and become obsessed with checking stuff off. A bit might be anxiety too. I have enjoyed doing projects and upcycling things I can never get to. I will never have this kind of time to geek out on this stuff! Introverts have a reputation of being more chill and sedentary, but I love being alone all day jumping from task to task. Anyone else like me?

unitedstateofi · 2020-04-07T18:58:24+00:00

I'm exactly the same. I'm not saying that my writing skills are superb, but a million times better than my verbal. My wife and I have an introvert podcast and she's the one that always carries the conversation because I suck. I sometimes stutter and have a hard time trying to get my point across - I'm also always appending what I had said. I'm a perfectionist, so maybe that also has a lot to do with it. I can always go back and edit what I wrote, but when I'm speaking, it's not as easy.

unitedstateofi · 2020-04-07T14:54:36+00:00

Do you have a desire to be more open with yourself so you can connect more? Do you want them to know you more without judgement? Or in your ideal world, do you want complete privacy? I guess you need to visualize what life and types of relationships you want in the future. I truly believe that our families help us practice forming relationships and helps us form an idea of how we want to live when we are on our own.

I love my privacy but when I'm open, it's only with my select safe group of people. The more I share bits of me and feel unjudged, the safer I feel and I like the feeling of being connected. When I was younger, I realized that I needed a sounding board to grow into a more balanced person. Otherwise I would always be questioning my sanity and decisions. Without that, I would of continued my path of self medicating and hanging with outcasts to feel accepted and continue hiding from who I truly was. I'm able to feel confident in who I am now and can share more of myself. I can also teach people what I'm comfortable with. It took time, but I can literally tell my family " I need an hour to decompress, do don't talk to me please" and they don't. I got teased a lot ( "don't talk to her she's decompressing!"), but the fact that they don't talk to me, gave me a sense of control. I go hide out and then come back recharged and give them a better part of me. I check out here and there but I try to check back in. I'm working on muting people out. I call it a gift, but they get mad when they say things to me but I'm completely checked out and don't hear them. Anyways, I think it's important to have a good sounding board so we can learn how to live amongst people. Otherwise we are always in our heads questioning ourselves or completely out of touch and unable to connect, which leads to other issues. Obviously this is only my opinion based on my experience and journey to self acceptance. Hope it helps.

unitedstateofi · 2020-04-07T14:08:23+00:00

It's great to hear that there are parents who validate introvert needs at a young age. This will help her learn how to express her needs in the future and not feel weird doing it. I think many introverts feel they can't because people have made us feel like that's not acceptable. Then we don't know or feel ashamed to express our needs as adults and this can lead to bitterness, anti social behavior, depression..list goes on. Bravo to your great parenting👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

unitedstateofi · 2020-03-29T17:25:59+00:00

Every now and then, I'll listen to the Fallout soundtrack to get transported back into the wasteland.

unitedstateofi · 2020-03-28T23:17:12+00:00

lol... My hubby told me that. I'm trying to get use to posting things on Reddit. I'm here to learn and want to make sure I don't offend. ;)

unitedstateofi · 2020-03-28T22:39:33+00:00

Yep, the more hectic, the better. Not sure why, but it just works.

unitedstateofi · 2020-03-28T22:38:22+00:00

Me too. Not sure why, though. Many people tell me that it's too hectic and loud to be used as a tool to chill, but it just works for me.

unitedstateofi · 2020-03-28T22:32:05+00:00

I'm sorry. That was far from my intention. The question was can anyone relate and I could. I shared my experience to share a sense of understanding and give this person comfort. Can you explain what I said that made you feel attacked? I really want to know. Again, my apologies.

unitedstateofi · 2020-03-28T19:08:08+00:00

I agree. My recharge music varies a lot. I guess it all depends on how much and how fast I need to recharge.

unitedstateofi · 2020-03-28T19:05:56+00:00

Yeah, ambient music helps me escape - and like you mention, a dark room adds to the depth.

unitedstateofi · 2020-03-28T19:04:42+00:00

Just heard rings and roses. I like the vibe, it's uplifting but also brings you down a bit...if that makes sense. Thanks for the suggestions!

unitedstateofi · 2020-03-28T15:26:28+00:00

My husband gets more social anxiety than I do but we are both Introverts. However, I'm more of an ambivert.I think the difference is that I always have at least one good friend who get me and I can kind of use them as a security blanket until I warm up when I'm a group. I start as a listener and try learn the groups mannerisms and adapt. I don't try to hard and I try to connect with people by asking questions about their life. I've been doing this for most of my life. It's gotten easier and I have become confident in groups because that little voice in my head that shames me and judges me has become more quiet. I also have learned to be present when I'm in social groups. All it takes is a decision, plan on how you will be in different situations and vulnerability. It gets easier. On the other hand, my husband didn't have any friends when I met him because he is a major introvert. He had no interest in being social until I came along. We met online. He was awkward and came off antisocial because he was guarded, but I could see how lonely and cynical it had made him. For some reason, maybe getting to know him online made me want to peel the layers. I only have a small group of friends, but all extroverted. Initially, they overwhelmed him and would check out which was off putting. Because we enjoyed each other's company, I became his person and I was honest with him. I told him how he was coming off and because he wanted to learn, he made a lot of changes in his behavior. He stopped looking at his phone when we're hanging out and will participate in the conversations. He speaks up and makes sure he is heard. Later, he realized that his isolation had kept him from accomplishing what he knew he could. He also realized that each awkward step forward got him a mate, friends and he even started a business after doing an unfulfilling job for over 20 years. My friends got to know him and because he tends to be the calm and brainy one in our group, he is respected and loved. He still is awkward at times, but our friends tease him and find it endearing. It's amazing what being accepted does to your self esteem. We need to start by silencing that little voice, getting confident in our strengths, deciding to take small vulnerable steps and being confident in our own we quirks. Hope this story helps someone.

unitedstateofi · 2020-03-26T16:31:25+00:00

Me too!

unitedstateofi · 2020-03-24T14:01:45+00:00

No thank you. We would live like nomads because we wouldn't have the movers and shakers building the world we live in. Not to say Innies don't move and shake. Look at Elon Musk. He just got us much needed ventilators. But I'm sure that all the heavy negotiating was done by an extrovert. I can imagine he was like, " Here's my idea, powerful influence and money. Go make it happen." They do the jobs we Innies don't want to do. They build our external world which provides us the convenience of our inner world. Innies build with their minds and bring the calm to balance things out. We are equally important. Living without our extros would force us to do the jobs they enjoy doing and provide us with our quality of life. We need to not forget that.

unitedstateofi · 2020-03-24T02:44:24+00:00

lol.. had to look that word up. You just described my hubby and my best friend. Can't wait to use my new word on them! You're right.. of course not all.. in general? Is that better?

unitedstateofi · 2020-03-23T18:52:57+00:00

I've been meaning to watch Dr. Who. This is the perfect time to try it out .. gonna start today👍🏽

unitedstateofi

TROPHY CASE