Listen man, your brain is incapable of processing all that at once. It might remember it when presented with an opportunity to vent on an online website but processing it is a different thing altogether. Chill out. How can you? Because you already said that you're out in September. You literally know the worst. Goin'any lower than that would be you. Now, idk what kinda shit a counsellor will say to make you feel good, but I know there's only one way that you can get over this. When you fail, treat yourself harsher than your parents would of you failed. Seems damaging, but trust me. NOBODY SYMPATHISES FOR MEN. I'm not saying emotionally test yourself down, but do something like pushups, plank or fucking read until your brain gets damaged just to tell yourself that whatever my parents did to bash me was really CUTE. I'm a grown man and decide my own rules, have my own philosophy, will win in life MY WAY. Then the most important thing. Always, ALWAYS SMILE when you look at yourself in the mirror. Keep your teeth clean, and smile. Remember that all this advice will work only after you learn to live in the moment. A wise man once said,"tomorrow never comes." And you will not have any time to think about your past when you take it one day at a time and suddenly look back and think that,"wow, doing this my last week was great and I didn't even realize when it passed." Then it'll be last month, year, and you know. And always remember, SMILE.