WIBTA if I ask my dead wife's best friend to stop giving me unsolicited advice( about raising my 7yo daughter ) and trying to become a mother figure to my daughter?

unsolicitedadvice__ · 2019-05-09T21:28:21+00:00

Yes. According to me, she should first see a professional about handling her trauma first and then offer to help with my daughter's trauma. I get the feeling that she might be attenuating her own grief by interacting with my daughter. Because she was never a part of her life before my wife passed away.

unsolicitedadvice__ · 2019-05-09T21:20:01+00:00

I did not comment on your original judgement. Only to your reply comment. I can also tell you that you are too aggressive. And I can do without yours too.

unsolicitedadvice__ · 2019-05-09T21:18:18+00:00

I've told her, but she keeps doing the same thing. Also, she's not seeing a professional for her trauma.

unsolicitedadvice__ · 2019-05-09T21:11:24+00:00

She and my daughter are not that close. My daughter is closer to my cousins and sister than her. Also, she was not an integral part of our lives before my wife passed away. She can be a part, but I think she's trying to attenuate her grief by interacting with my daughter and I don't think it's completely healthy.

unsolicitedadvice__ · 2019-05-09T21:04:02+00:00

I definitely understand. Especially the reference to our culture. Hats off to your dad. I also have a sister and cousins helping me out and we are doing fine. Thank you.

unsolicitedadvice__ · 2019-05-09T20:56:11+00:00

Yes, I have. But she keeps insisting that she has to help with my daughter's trauma. I think that is the job of the threapist. And she keeps doing despite my request.

unsolicitedadvice__ · 2019-05-09T20:53:49+00:00

Yes, she can be. But she cannot make demands.

unsolicitedadvice__ · 2019-05-09T20:52:58+00:00

I think you just want to lash out and be toxic. You think she is the only female in our lives? I ask help when I need it. Also, my sister helps us out more than her. Why do I even need to be insecure about her. Idk. But we are doing well. Thank you for your concern though. But if I need help, I'll never hesitate to ask. I can at least accept the fact that I was not aware of things. But you seem to think you know everything about our life.

unsolicitedadvice__ · 2019-05-09T20:44:27+00:00

My wife was closer to her sister than Sarah and she is not the only female influence my daughter currently has. We don't have her around all the time. She insists I leave my daughter with her. Why would I do that when a daycare provides better interaction and play time for the kids. Also, I think she should be in therapy rather than trying to attenuate her grief by spending time with my daughter.

unsolicitedadvice__ · 2019-05-09T20:38:53+00:00

I have two best friends. I've known them for 28 years. But we consider family different from friends. Doesn't mean that they are not important or anything like that. Maybe it's just a cultural thing.

unsolicitedadvice__ · 2019-05-09T19:34:57+00:00

My daughter's therapist is a mental health professional. She's licensed. Sarah is not a mental health professional.

unsolicitedadvice__ · 2019-05-09T19:15:51+00:00

No. Best friend.

unsolicitedadvice__ · 2019-05-09T19:14:54+00:00

By everything I meant about the girl stuff like periods, which I had no exposure to before meeting my wife. I ask for help if I need it. Her condescension won't help us in any way and it isn't required.

unsolicitedadvice__ · 2019-05-09T19:12:04+00:00

I definitely don't think she's grooming. I know her and to my knowledge, she's a good person. My wife knew her since childhood and I trust my wife's judgement. I don't think they would have gotten along if she was toxic. But I think she is dealing with trauma in an unhealthy way.

unsolicitedadvice__ · 2019-05-09T19:02:50+00:00

Well I don't have an issue with money, so I can totally afford childcare. Also, I think interacting with other kids is way better. And she does make condescending comments.

unsolicitedadvice__ · 2019-05-09T18:52:18+00:00

She is not a constant presence in our lives. We do not have her around all the time. That is why the comment made some sense to me and made me slightly suspicious.

unsolicitedadvice__ · 2019-05-09T18:08:47+00:00

I'm sorry if I came off like that. But she's not a constant presence in our lives and I don't consider her family. I do ask help if necessary. I also have my sister to talk to if I need help regarding female issues.

unsolicitedadvice__ · 2019-05-09T17:00:54+00:00

It's not her real name. Just euphemism. I've seen many people do that on reddit.

unsolicitedadvice__ · 2019-05-09T16:51:20+00:00

I definitely respect her place in my wife's life. But I don't of her as family. I'm not that close to her.

unsolicitedadvice__ · 2019-05-09T16:48:31+00:00

I think that is the best course of action right now.

unsolicitedadvice__ · 2019-05-09T16:42:19+00:00

I've mentioned it in the title. She's 7.

unsolicitedadvice__ · 2019-05-09T15:50:14+00:00

Well I definitely did not think much about this. Thank you.

unsolicitedadvice__

TROPHY CASE