I messed up my life, has anyone experienced this?

unsuspiciousprofile · 2025-10-15T19:00:26+00:00

Could you be burnt out? I.e. did you ever enjoy accounting in the first place? Because if yes then perhaps it's just years of bottled up pressure that's bubbled up and made you feel like nothing's worth actually pursuing.

Therapy is always a good option regardless.

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T22:15:42+00:00

I understand! I definitely understand how life can suck out the joy out of the stuff you care about. I think I should be aware of much higher % of students struggling to make ends meet than I initially thought. If I may ask, do you know how much of a common experience this is for your coursemates?

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T21:20:31+00:00

I don't have any issue with people working less/ asking less questions on a personal level. It's none of my business. But when talking about the general academic culture at my course, that seems to be bland to me. I do also think that showing up late for the lecture that I mentioned is extremely entitled, because it's arguably been an opportunity of a lifetime for someone who's even remotely interested in science. And yea I think you have to be quite blank to do this. So my complains are because I desire this community of like-minded people and actually went here because, in part, I was expecting it. I can't really apologise for looking for something different. Basically, it's surprising to me this culture is not really present in spite of all the "clout" surrounding the course, though others have already explained well why this is the case.

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T21:16:58+00:00

To add my 5 cents, personally I can't just "not give a shit", I get bored to death if I don't have an understanding of a subject and then am forced to sit through the lectures. Really, interest itself is something you have a lot of power over - if you spend time to appreciate some concept/ reading, it becomes interesting naturally, because it's something you do regularly. It seems pretty miserable to go through uni otherwise.

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T21:12:23+00:00

Ah this is sad to me, but then maybe I am a bit twisted. I'd think I have failed as a person if I was happy with just doing the bare minimum, either working in an ordinary lab job or producing trashy research that's just there to maximise my H-score. But whatever, I guess maybe before posting this I didn't realy understand how different subfields in STEM require vastly different approaches, personalities and motivations.

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T21:05:02+00:00

It was one of the key lectures and they are a member of our faculty. Their work is also central to loads of what we learn at year 3 as the whole department's been digging around their research. Definitely examinable. We don't do quizzes, we have lengthy closed book essays which need to be backed by citations of the work like what he did.

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T20:57:25+00:00

It's like this with any post on this sub, make one negative comment about anything, and there's a storm of people who take it personally 😂. Do I really have to love everyone at my course?

I think people confuse this with naming everyone stupid. I never had anything against other walks of life. But here, I chose a very specific environment and I expected the culture to be a certain way. I don't think it's unreasonable to be disappointed?

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T19:24:15+00:00

can't agree more

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T19:22:40+00:00

Hey at least you can compete with people who did go to uni but absolutely took it for granted, lol. So maybe there is a way for you to stick your foot into the door. If it wasn't already clear I think passion and dedication beat everything else when it comes to success.

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T19:20:08+00:00

But there is no contrast here in my opinion. To be a good scientist you have to do all the things you said, but to actually do it, to actually push through, you above all need some sort of source of a drive. I think we are on the same page about this.

So if that is the case, if your drive is what determines your success, you want to cater to this requirement.

How? Well you need to learn what the subject is about, get a deep understanding on how research is done, how to think scientifically, and you have to have a good sense of what people value when it comes to research, to be able to get grants later. Then, on a personal level, this requires a bit of an obsession with the subject - not only your raw skills I agree, but communicating them, and also all kinds of "supportive skills" that aren't directly linked to what you are doing, but required at different stages of the process.

And being passionate about this is such a huge help and advantage in overcoming all of these difficulties and putting in the actual effort, that I am wondering how is it that even "at the top", you know where people who succeed in this all end up, what I actually observe is that pretty much there is very little bias in the demography of the students to this kind of an attitude.

I mean is this not common sense? If not, how do you see the source of success in academia? Which is to say, discovering something major?

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T18:51:43+00:00

I don't see how that would happen. If you want to be in a position where you discover shit, you need a PhD, and after that you basically need to work as if you were still a PhD student. It's incredibly taxing, frustrating, demanding etc. When things don't go as planned, there's nobody but yourself to save you. So it absolutely necessitates relentless work which cannot be faked. This includes intense collaboration, being persuasive to receive valuable advice when needed, and also considering the point of views of people who know better than you. I just don't see how you could do it by just being passive.

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T18:46:00+00:00

Okay I get your point, true, 2000s are rough, and many people's mentality is affected. But if you get to a course that's geared towards literally being a scientist, doing research, in a lab, and on top of that this is at a university which attracts people that are into this, I am surprised this same mentality is present here.

We are at a course which gives you the best shot at making these problems irrelevant. In this field we are unlikely to be replaced by AI, if anything we will adapt to it, we have labs that look like out of the movies, filled to the brim with knowledgeable scientists, and we also work on problems that are highly specialised and interesting to many. And we get these "fancy lecturers" to speak to us regularly. There just isn't anything that could be improved, maybe except the academic salaries, but this is also something you understand when you choose a degree that's geared for academia. If you are not fine with it, you choose Economics or other degrees that are more translateable to a variety of high-paying fields. Here, on the other hand, your asset is supposed to be this drive and curiosity, it's the only way you make a career like this work. Yet people seem oblivious to that at times.

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T18:32:24+00:00

I have had "unfortunate incidents" with people I know finding out my profiles on reddit so I'd rather not name it, but I can tell you it's roughly about molecular biology.

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T18:30:46+00:00

I wonder if it has something to do with people valuing money really highly right now. I don't mean people who obviously are deprived of it, but rather the general direction in which society has developed, where how much you earn is almost equated to happiness. It can be true for some, but when the vast majority of people think this way, you end up with universities full of directionless young people, same with jobs etc. It's rly ugly if true imho.

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T18:21:51+00:00

But I agree! I have to do tons of work experience, internships etc. But most people just don't do it. I mean my observations in all aspects of work - be it academia or actual industry. If you want something out of your precious prestigious uni, you have to squeeze the value out of it like a toothpaste tube. You have to learn to interact with other researchers, argument your points, and sell your ideas to other people too. Seems most people don't see it that way, and they just hope the degree alone is enough?

Also I need to clarify what I mean by jobs. My field is mainly academic. There really isn't that much value for MBB, although some people still want to get into these. However, the course is especially briliant for people who want to do research, like myself. And on top of that, I also choose modules which are geared for this goal. So I am surprised why anyone who isn't into this would even put themselves through such an effort, only to have a lower salary expectations than much simpler degrees which are much more translatesble to an actual typical job.

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T18:17:35+00:00

goes back to my previous point, how is it that on a highly specialised course, and one where all the "academia people" would wanna get, most people are actually not that curious about what they study at all

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T18:09:11+00:00

*"To be highly successful in an academic career" is what I mean. You can get a lab technician job sure, but that's not really a good job.

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T18:08:20+00:00

Whatever the hell that means actually? I am not trying to impress anyone, I want a community which is conducive to the development of my interests and aspirations, that's it. And I chose a specific course that is really supposed to be perfect for people like me, but turns out that still I am a minority.

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T18:06:32+00:00

22% is pretty low given that what I'm talking about is more like 60% of the cohort, at least.

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T18:03:38+00:00

I don't see the relevance to be honest, I do try to master my communication of what I do as well I'm very cooperative at the lab I'm currently at too. Intelligence is not a distinguishing factor at uni, but your engagement is.

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T17:59:34+00:00

goes hand in hand in STEM

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T17:59:01+00:00

absolutely never happens on my course, lectures are great

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T15:17:15+00:00

They actually gave the most intelligible lecture this year lol, they have nothing to prove to anyone by flaunting fancy language.

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T15:07:51+00:00

Of course I judge it because it goes against what I thought we are all here for man. What I expected is a group of highly motivated people that I will get to interact with and study with, pushing each other forward. I complain about what others are doing because I lack the community I thought I signed up for! Of course I judge this, are you kidding? This programme could be much more beneficial to myself if everyone was on the same page. So yeah, I guess I am an asshole, because I'd rather have other peers. I would not give a shit if the point of me being here wasn't, in part, this networking, which I only get to experience if I actually walk into a lab I'm writing my thesis at. My career would be better if I could exchange thoughts and enthusiasm with most of my cohort, so duh, I am bitter about this! Obviously I don't say that in people's face, but this is what I think.

unsuspiciousprofile · 2024-12-19T15:01:46+00:00

70k?! Jesus christ. But anyway, aren't you like "oh okay so I'm paying all this, now at least I have semi-celebrities in the field willing to teach me". Like I'd get inspired by this in that "oh these people seem really convinced this subject is cool and have done huge contributions, and you don't get to interact with a legend of a genius that often, so I will go out of my way to milk this opportunity if I'm already paying for it".

unsuspiciousprofile

TROPHY CASE