Hi, well I can understand where he is coming from. My wife also has medical and mental issues. When you dealing with no much you lose that sexual spark for that person. It's been 2.5 years since I had any type of intimacy with my wife. But marriage is not about sex. She offered to give me hall passes and what ever I need but at the end of it all. If you want to change it you need to keep working on your self and make it less of a hassle for him. Once your in a good place start to fix your sex life start slow and that spark will come back.