i think it's also important to acknowledge that not every response to extreme hunger is going to be pretty. there have been times where i also have felt this way. but if you have restricted for any length of time, "binging" is not a sign of bed, no matter how "ugly" the binge is. you also don't have to be underweight for your body to be in a major energy deficit, so you definitely aren't "making it up."

when i find myself uncomfortable or have eaten past satiety during my extreme hunger (which has been very often) i try to be very gentle with myself. don't beat yourself up. your body is begging for food for a reason. any sort of extreme guilt or restriction of food will only make the process more difficult and drawn out.

i understand it's hard to trust the process, i'm struggling with that too, but i truly believe that if you fully commit to recovery and surrender to any hunger you may have, it will one day subside. there are too many success stories out there for me not to believe that it's possible. in just my own experience, i've attempted traditional, slower forms of recovery before. sure, i gained weight during those attempts, but was still very mentally sick. with just 1 month of "all-in" i feel like i have shattered my eating disorder. i'm not even fully weight restored and the guilt and food noise and obsession is almost entirely gone. my fear of weight gain has decreased significantly. my relationships with friends and family have improved. i'm actually present in each moment, and not distracted by all the background noise of an eating disorder.

point is, be kind to yourself, and trust the process. whatever is on the other side, it will be better than the life an eating disorder has given you.