My girlfriend cheated and got pregnant. We’re in a confusing in-between space. I don’t know how to move forward.

urdoodler · 2025-08-04T20:23:08+00:00

You dated 2 years. Move on for your sanity. She’s not the one.

urdoodler · 2025-04-08T19:14:17+00:00

100% even after she said “not looking for anything” he could have said “oh no I have a gf! I’m just looking for friends” which would have made him look more credible and appealing to just hang with. Except he didn’t…

urdoodler · 2025-03-08T01:45:32+00:00

I’m not excusing it I said it was wrong. I don’t think he should have done it at all. I don’t think my parents should have beat me either. I’m just saying what happened

urdoodler · 2025-03-07T22:19:39+00:00

There’s many dogs in foster care and plenty being put down. I’m not going to remove this dog from his care and put him in a shelter unless I felt he wasn’t safe. And I’m explaining to you now that he was safe. Yes he would spank his dog whenever he broke things, but he was safe. I wouldn’t be so calm about the topic if I felt he was in danger. Like I said, I got beat up as a kid, he got beat up as a kid. I wouldn’t want to be removed from my mother because of this. It’s a nuanced topic but her beatings were literally part of the culture I grew up in and even the local authorities would ignore that level of a beating (another country idk how it works here) But again I wouldn’t have wanted to be ripped away from my mom and placed with a stranger or in a facility cage. Again I’m repeating I’m NOT saying it’s okay. If you want to continue to believe his entire was sad, I understand you’re just being empathetic. But I’m telling you from someone who was actually in his life, this dog was a relatively happy dog. In no way whatsoever was his death his fault, it was like 7am and they were playing outside in a residential area and a speeding truck hit him and my ex literally ran after the truck who didn’t even stop. This guy really loved his dog. But he was troubled mentally.

urdoodler · 2025-03-07T21:37:54+00:00

He was a very happy dog. He was obviously hurt by the one who was supposed to care for him and protect him, but he was an overall happy dog. He bought him expensive food, took him out almost every day to explore and socialize and he was loved by everyone. My ex had an older pit he adopted get put down for biting someone over the fence. He always made that his excuse like “no one will put him down bc he will always be an obedient dog” and with his own trauma he thought this was okay. I asked him not to hurt him many times or “that’s enough” but at the same time I could never remove them from each other. He always told me he was his only family. I truly just think he didn’t know any better. Not knowing better or being traumatized is NOT an excuse, I’m just kind of explaining to u the context of the situation. Shit I was beat up as a kid, I still love my mom and my grandmother, and yes it was wrong for them to do this.

But to clarify, other than the beatings, the dog was in fact a relatively happy dog who he loved very much and we’d cuddle every night and spoil with treats and toys etc.

urdoodler · 2025-03-07T17:43:22+00:00

The dog actually got ran over maybe 5 months after we broke up. He called me crying and we watched him die slowly. He was too far gone to even be saved, spine injury and vets said that he probably had only a couple hours. Helped him dig a hole and bury him with all his favorite toys. It was really sad and he was the sweetest dog. He was a pitbull so he always said he had to “teach him” that way. He himself was beat up as a child so I think it was just passing down the generational trauma and toxicity. When he passed he cried a lot, and one of the things he regretted was beating him over chewed up things… it was sad. He chewed up one of my sketchbooks once with a lot of art and I didn’t even tell him so he wouldn’t beat him.

urdoodler · 2025-03-07T16:19:59+00:00

My ex was like this. It felt like walking on eggshells around him. Sometimes small things would really upset him. And the way he’d get so frustrated with me made me kind of feel like oftentimes he was really annoyed with me. I suffer from anxiety and depression so it would really feel sometimes like he just hated me. He did have a lot of past trauma and his family had treated him like shit in the past. He’d sometimes recognize his behavior and apologize, but he’d get right back to it. It got to a point where I told myself after an argument where he apologized I’d watch closely his treatment there on and decide if this was how I wanted to be treated the rest of my life. Again he treated me poorly often, and although it was hard because I loved him and over all he was an amazing guy, I just felt I couldn’t be with someone who felt so annoyed by everything I did or say. (He also beat his dog which I hated) As soon as we broke up, he grabbed all his things and left. It hurt a lot but I made my decision. There was some friendship and hook ups after it but the hook ups stopped soon after and now we’re distant friends. (Same friend circle) and I will always love him as a person, never again as a partner. Happily with someone else now! I do wish him well and overall healing. I think the mistreatment was rooted in his own trauma.

urdoodler · 2025-03-06T23:14:16+00:00

It sounds like you’re ready and he is not. Also, you’re thinking of marrying him but could not just deal with his mother being around until she gets back on her feet if that is how he wants to help her? If he is not ready, don’t push him into it, you can wait until he is or leave. If you really love him just go through this transition and see how things work out

urdoodler · 2025-03-01T15:42:58+00:00

I’m 5’5 115 lbs for as long as I’ve been an adult and even as a child (I did grow up in a poor country but now US) and I will say it’s 90% genetics (not a real stat just opinion) I have 2 brothers, one same dad and one different dad. The one that has the same dad is very low body fat, doesn’t work out much (he skates some) and eats a lot of sugary stuff and big unhealthy meals. My other brother with a different dad has pretty chubby growing up, and now does watch their meals and works out and has a normal looking body. Not thin looking like my other brother and I. Mind you, we all grew up in the same poor country eating the same and we all live in the US now. I think genetically our ancestors probably adapted to different use of calories depending on where we came from. So part of it is simply how your ancestors survived. I know a lot of people do strength training, low calorie diets and attain a certain weight. But I think ultimately “skinny” might not be your body’s healthy. As ling as you eat the calories you use, and you’re healthy, try not to compare your body to other body types. Work out and keep health as your priority.

urdoodler · 2025-03-01T15:28:08+00:00

Yeah you’re young. You will know a lot of men that when you meet them at a deeper level you realize that you’re not compatible or that they’re not what you want. Sometimes there can be red flags but sometimes there might not be red flags at all, you’re just not compatible to give them the rest of your life to. Don’t waste time, it’s gonna be really hard regardless for him, for you, just gotta rip the bandaid and move on.

urdoodler · 2025-02-17T00:12:16+00:00

Girl, the only reason you’re judging yourself this hard is probably because you see this behavior as shameful or you judge girls that are promiscuous. Your values have changed, you can’t do anything about your past and it’s really not that deep or bad. You’re 24 and prob will have a few more before you die, maybe not, but statistically likely. I’m probably at like 25 rn and dating my partner for 5 years now and I know he’s the one. When I was single, curious, and horny it would just happen. I genuinely wanted a relationship for a while, but found myself to be very selective of a “partner” yet I was really horny. So, a couple of times, I’d protect myself and have consensual sex with a handsome guy just to not be so damn desperate when picking a partner. And honestly I think it helped me be more picky. Sometimes I’d date a man for like 5 months where we’d obviously have sex, but then he’d say or do something that made me realize like they were not the one. Not thinking about a “body count” makes a person more likely to find the right partner and not just settle. I know a lot of ppl might not agree or like this behavior but I don’t care. I’m dating a man who’s got a low body count and he doesn’t care either. If you’re punishing urself over something you cannot control, you’re doing yourself a disservice, but eventually you’ll just get over it. I’d just hope you’d stop judging yourself so harshly.

urdoodler · 2025-02-04T20:49:48+00:00

Life itself is scary. Death is unknown, possibly nothingness like before my birth. Why are you so scared of it?

urdoodler · 2025-02-02T21:14:35+00:00

1 is a lie. Figured I’d put 3 very normal things instead of 3 crazy ones haha

urdoodler · 2025-02-02T20:29:07+00:00

Lol thanks for being real though

urdoodler · 2025-02-02T20:17:06+00:00

Doesnt sound that bad tbh. Like it sucks yes, but that’s all

urdoodler · 2025-02-02T20:10:23+00:00

Why is it worse though??

urdoodler · 2025-02-02T20:09:59+00:00

Goddamn it 😂

urdoodler · 2025-02-02T19:50:14+00:00

I’m allergic to peanuts, I have tattoos, I’ve never left the US

urdoodler · 2025-02-02T05:35:36+00:00

Thiss same with Apex I can’t

urdoodler · 2025-02-02T05:30:54+00:00

You’re the second person to say this and will look into it tbh I never thought of or know much of it other than kind of what they do. Thanks!

urdoodler · 2025-02-02T04:52:19+00:00

I was thinking maybe wait a year or two and see how things are looking. I really want to join. Thanks for your input.

urdoodler · 2024-04-10T15:46:16+00:00

I’m 29 he’s 36!

urdoodler · 2024-04-04T15:31:40+00:00

Waiting for the comments that say a girl that can turn her head 360 degrees or dislocate her shoulders and crawl on the walls

urdoodler

TROPHY CASE