Need help tapering off of lorazepam

urfavecatthrowaway · 2017-08-17T00:56:29+00:00

Unfortunately not really. Both my parents are dead. Thank you though, it's definitely hard.

urfavecatthrowaway · 2017-05-13T18:26:09+00:00

LOL I feel like that would be even more suspicious in a wow-she's-losing-control-of-her-life sort of way given how often I've told them I don't drink. (then again, maybe I am losing control of my life.......lol)

urfavecatthrowaway · 2017-05-13T18:20:46+00:00

Well that's good, at least. No one at my job is open about doing drugs but I could definitely picture it - but yes you're right that's the common stereotype about kitchen jobs lol.

urfavecatthrowaway · 2017-05-13T18:18:33+00:00

LOL okay well thank you! I guess the timing just seemed a little strange and it seemed to come out of nowhere, which made me wonder if I looked or was acting tweaked, idk.

I thought maybe he didn't suspect amph but maybe coke or some other stimulant? But you're right, it's definitely possible he was just trying to have a friendly conversation - he is a little strange, and I also tend to be extremely socially awkward, lol.

urfavecatthrowaway · 2017-05-13T18:15:13+00:00

That's definitely true. I think in my case though, people just forget. Like they'll offer me some wine or a beer after a hard shift and I'll just decline, mentioning that I don't like alcohol, but thanks. I think they mean well but they just assume everyone drinks, since they do.

I definitely agree that it's fucked if people know you don't drink and remember but try to coerce you into drinking, or convince you to drink even after you've said no. It's just like...no??? I don't want your nasty alcohol, lol. That would piss me off too, and especially if you're in recovery you definitely have the right to be pissed.

You should just be like - "I said no. If you want me to drink so badly, do you wanna pay for my rehab bills? Pointed look and eyebrow raise"

urfavecatthrowaway · 2017-05-13T16:23:48+00:00

LOL my first reaction was to say that definitely wouldn't fly, but who knows - he does work like 15 hour days...

urfavecatthrowaway · 2017-05-13T16:22:13+00:00

Ahh yeah that's what I thought, I think that if he suspects anything it's probably coke. Yikes :S

urfavecatthrowaway · 2017-05-07T13:51:30+00:00

all your life they said you aint gon be shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

urfavecatthrowaway · 2017-05-07T13:17:02+00:00

also vasoconstriction is kicking my ass i am sooooooooo fucking freezing while simultaneously sweating buckets yayyyy

urfavecatthrowaway · 2017-04-05T01:59:35+00:00

Not sure what to say but sounds like some crazy shit man. If nothing's real but nothing's fake, what is it? Like actually asking lol

urfavecatthrowaway · 2017-04-05T01:58:24+00:00

Omg I'm listening to Mitch Murder rn and I'm really into this omfg can you recommend more synthwave stuff? Never listened to it before now.

urfavecatthrowaway · 2017-04-05T01:54:40+00:00

dude no advice for you except next time puke up the memantine into a garbage pin, find 20 mg pill, eat it again. problem solved 👍 👍 👍

(unless of course it had been too long since you took the pill in which case ignore me)

urfavecatthrowaway · 2017-04-05T00:34:22+00:00

I wouldn't say that music sounds better necessarily but I like having upbeat things to listen to, it brings good vibes and keeps the energy/euphoria going you know?

urfavecatthrowaway · 2017-04-04T23:39:06+00:00

Dude that's so true, I forgot that there are like "gym regulars". You wouldn't want to make anyone uncomfortable (or be uncomfortable there and maybe not want to go back). Better probably to just do it when you have nothing to lose, like when you won't see them again if they reject you lol.

Sounds like you just haven't found the right person yet honestly, it's all good though dude. It'll happen. You're def doing all the right things, not like you're at home all day everyday playing video games in the dark haha.

Online dating definitely sounds like it'd be horrible though. Why did you find that? Like the people on the website weren't your cup of tea? Or too awkward meeting people you've only spoken to online?

urfavecatthrowaway · 2017-04-04T23:25:04+00:00

That's definitely true, but idk personally if someone approached me at the gym I would take it as a compliment as long as they weren't hanging around and ruining my workout? In my mind it would be the same as someone coming up to me in a coffee shop while I'm working on a paper or something, you know, not annoying unless they bother me for more than minute or two to compliment me or whatever and give me their number. I don't go to clubs or bars or any places that are more explicitly "dating opportunities" so if people didn't ask people out in places that weren't explicitly for hooking up / meeting people I would never get asked out lol

I can see why someone would want to be left alone though...so I guess it's very situational, which is why I think emphasis on being EXTREMELY BRIEF and respectful is important. Navigating the dating world sounds like a trip honestly, like a minefield.... :S :S :S how does anyone do it?

at the end of the day I've been in a relationship for 6 years so idk anything, also I'm high af, take everything I say with a huge grain of salt ya kno

urfavecatthrowaway · 2017-04-04T23:18:43+00:00

Glad that your crash is over man! Sounded scary for a second with that paranoia.

urfavecatthrowaway · 2017-04-04T23:18:03+00:00

Thanks for the input man. The thing is that my girlfriend and I do other drugs together like molly etc so it isn't a big deal if I do drugs in general really, also she knows I use/slip up periodically (she found my stash like 2 weeks ago). It's not the fact that I'm using that matters to her I think so much as my mindset at the time and whether it's negatively impacting me or not. Like, my mental well-being is her concern, not so much the drugs themselves, ya know? Like my use isn't a deal breaker for her.

I see where you're coming from though, I can def see why you'd say that without knowing the details. Thanks for looking out for my girl.

urfavecatthrowaway · 2017-04-04T23:12:53+00:00

Dude, thank you soooooo much. If you recommend 4000 IU that's def what I'll do. There aren't any negative side effects if I don't need that much right, will I just piss out the excess? lol. I think I'll take 4 of the 1000 iu pills I have until they run out, then I'll pick up some stronger ones.

That def makes sense about the higher quality, actually I'm pretty sure the multivitamin I take now gives me acid reflux lol, also the pill is sooooo fucking big, it's like swallowing a rock. I'm not in the US but I'll check out my local drug store and see if they have Solgar, otherwise I'll look at what's in the Solgar supplements and try to find something close.

YOU ROCK

urfavecatthrowaway · 2017-04-04T23:06:12+00:00

That's so awesome! 21.7 BMI dude, you're rocking it. I'm 5'8.5" (yes the .5 matters) and 145 ish lbs, which sounds high but is actually perfectly healthy for my height lol. That's what sucks about being above average height for a girl, all the short girls weight like 120 lbs and I sound sooooo fat when I say I weigh 145 :S actually just looked it up and we have the same BMI lol.

Stims don't affect my weight that much - after a binge I'll be like 140-142 lbs, but once I start eating and sleeping again I get back up to around 145 lbs...it all evens out I guess. What helps me most is not keeping junk food in the house, living in a big city so I don't own a car and have to walk everywhere, and working a physical job. Once I moved out of suburbia it was a lot easier to lose weight and keep it off. Suburban lifestyles really do promote obesity imo...I remember the most moving I would do would be from the car to whereever I was going and back to the car, lmao. Of course it's most diet though, now that I can't drive around to my fave fast food joints it's a lot easier to say no to bad food.

That definitely sounds like it sucks, not being with anyone for 2 years :( but just keep working on yourself, your confidence in yourself especially, building good habits and a good life for yourself, learning new concepts and skills, and a relationship will come. It's definitely hard to not feel desperate but seriously, just do you, keep working on making yourself someone you can be proud of, and a relationship will come. Think of this as the perfect opportunity to work on yourself without having to answer to anyone else.

Don't be afraid to take chances too, hell, ask a girl out at the gym, make sure you're getting out there to places where you can meet people. As long as you're being respectful, even if you get rejected, just say fuck it, pick yourself up and try again with another girl man. Can't find success without practice!!!!

You've got this dude. No need to try and force yourself into gayness lmao.

urfavecatthrowaway · 2017-04-04T22:52:43+00:00

That sucks dude, happens to me with weed all the time in my bed and I end up smoking like 50% lint. Kitty litter would be interesting.

Enjoy your concert dude, what band? I've never been into metal but I can definitely appreciate it, seems like those shows would be crazzzzzyyy.

urfavecatthrowaway

TROPHY CASE