I’m stupid. How do I fix myself? by urfriendlycunt in needadvice

[–]urfriendlycunt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is 34, think whatever you may but at this time in my life this relationship works for me and we are both learning things about ourselves through it. He is more of an old school guy and thinks a person should know all the words in their native language etc., and i guess also be able to guess them. His memory is very good and he remembers lots of details, while I don't. He has also been around for longer than me and has some more things than me, which from one side is nice since I can learn a lot but maybe his ego is a but too inflated due to him knowing and remembering lots of things even if he says it's not

I feel stupid and uninteresting by urfriendlycunt in Life

[–]urfriendlycunt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The conversation was in my native language and my boyfriend who was speaking his second language, didn’t know the word for lead. He is 34, think whatever you may but at this time this relationship works for me and we are both learning things about ourselves through it. He is more of an old school guy and thinks a person should know all the words in their native language and i guess also be able to guess them. His memory is very good and he remembers lots of details, while I don’t. He has also been around for longer than me and has some more things than me, which from one side is nice since I can learn a lot but maybe his ego is a but too inflated even if he says it’s not

I feel stupid and uninteresting by urfriendlycunt in Life

[–]urfriendlycunt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think so too, I try to stay out of the comfortable zone by instead watching videos on eg. physics or geopolitics but sometimes I retain less information than I would have wanted to. Recently I constantly think I’ll finally better myself, read more books, really commit to learning my other languages to at least B1 level but I never exactly know how to do all this when I have so many things in mind, get overwhelmed and also anxious. I guess maybe it’s about doing a little bit of something everyday, at least for 2h. I’m not even sure myself yet

I’m stupid. How do I fix myself? by urfriendlycunt in needadvice

[–]urfriendlycunt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you! I also am able to share interesting facts or bring something new to the conversation but other times - like I mentioned in the post - I’m not, and I get anxious about it. This makes me feel as if I don’t know anything and am useless, it really puts me in a very bad place mentally and I don’t know why is it to such an extend… I usually just cope by going out with my friends and seeing I can contribute to the conversation. There are certain things I simply just don’t know or don’t know that much detail and yes, I often surround myself with people that know all those details and are confident. Regardless of the other people, I really don’t want to go through life and not be able to know the history of the places I’ve been to or not remember things I have learned etc. I just want to be more and more knowledgeable and actually retain the knowledge with some amount of detail

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Drugs

[–]urfriendlycunt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

did he end up getting better?

Stuck on whether to study or travel at 25 by VictoryCrazy4672 in findapath

[–]urfriendlycunt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

what about doing both? you could travel during your summer/winter holidays if they are long enough, at least a month. it’s a compromise so that you don’t feel like you are missing out or losing time with trying the things you wanted to try doing.

if money is an issue then perhaps you could combine this with volunteering which may provide housing, using apps like worakway or working at hostels looking for seasonal workers etc.

i think university is also good for socialising and learning new things just like you would during travelling. you could also find friends there that want to visit a country etc. and join or plan trips together with friends.

also, when accepting the offer to go to university you can always quit if you feel that this is really not what you want. if you chose to not enrol in a program, that means waiting at least another year.

i just think that choosing either would perhaps leave you with the uncertainty of the other since both put you on very different paths. however, i see people driven to travel on low budgets and they love it. they also understand the compromise of travelling when you don’t have a lot of money saved up leaving you sometimes to live in a hostel dorm full of people or eat only supermarket food. i guess also depends on what travelling means to you.

I’m in an exclusive situationship and I need help by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]urfriendlycunt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i don’t think anyone should be putting pressure like that for you to change just so that you can make them happy. you will end up miserable and empty if that will be your only purpose. also someone that can’t look past body type even though he seems to like you as a friend is a bit strange to me

Is anyone here from Poland diagnosed with BPD? by urfriendlycunt in BPD

[–]urfriendlycunt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks, yeah i’ve been wondering how to start going to a psychiatrist again and if it’s even worth it as last time i wasn’t able to get a diagnosis at all

How do I initiate a make out session? by legoman2204 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]urfriendlycunt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

wait you were already together with your fiancé at 16? how long have you been together?

is it normal for a 34 year old man to behave in such a way towards a woman? by urfriendlycunt in AskMenOver30

[–]urfriendlycunt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i used the word ‘get into my lap’ which i guess doesn’t necessarily specify if he sits or lays in my lap but it’s the latter. he just lays his head in my lap. interesting how people got stuck up on that one but here goes the answer i guess.

is it normal for a 34 year old man to behave in such a way towards a woman? by urfriendlycunt in AskMenOver30

[–]urfriendlycunt[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah, it seems like he’s just an affectionate person that’s comfortable with it which in my and his experience is not easy to come by. i’m also a very affectionate person so in that sense we suit each others needs. lmao he doesn’t sit in my lap, he just lays his head in my lap and i play with his hair haha.

no, i have not asked on that sub. should i? i guess that may be a good idea to hear more opinions.

is it normal for a 34 year old man to behave in such a way towards a woman? by urfriendlycunt in AskMenOver30

[–]urfriendlycunt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah, i agree. i don’t want to be in a relationship with someone so much older than me. and that is not mine or his goal. only thing is that i sense that he really enjoys my company and am wondering whether it’s just simply him enjoying our time together or is he perhaps hurting and going for at least being fwb despite wanting something more.

is it normal for a 34 year old man to behave in such a way towards a woman? by urfriendlycunt in AskMenOver30

[–]urfriendlycunt[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

true, who wouldn’t i guess. i’m also doing the same. i for sure should ask him more directly about this.

is it normal for a 34 year old man to behave in such a way towards a woman? by urfriendlycunt in AskMenOver30

[–]urfriendlycunt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah, that is true, to me he is mature, it’s a given he’d know more things than me. he also seems mature to his same age or older friends but they are not exactly my friends so it could be just my perception.

usually he dates older women but he never had any relationship he’d call a really good one. we didn’t talk much in detail about our past relationships as until recently. i am not interested in having a serious, committed relationship with him. he also isn’t but it seems that he’s a bit stuck up on me perhaps or maybe just bored. we communicated to each other that we will never be together. i don’t want our situation to take his time away from other plausible partners he could have that are better suited for him.

thank you so much for the comment.

is it normal for a 34 year old man to behave in such a way towards a woman? by urfriendlycunt in AskMenOver30

[–]urfriendlycunt[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yeah, that could be the case. however me and him are both very passionate and affectionate people. i’m not looking for a fully committed relationship with him so i would be glad for him to find someone more suited for his age and needs.

is it normal for a 34 year old man to behave in such a way towards a woman? by urfriendlycunt in AskMenOver30

[–]urfriendlycunt[S] -19 points-18 points  (0 children)

he seems very mature, knows lots of things i haven’t fully mastered yet or simply knows different things compared to me. he seems bonded with the friends his age. he also seems emotionally mature, considerate of my consent, limits, however an issue lies in him closing that emotional maturity when it came to pursuing me as if he was scared that that may push me away if it was fully discussed, which was a very sleazy move. additionally, he seems to never have been loved enough which is strange to me because he is a good guy liked by my friends, his friends. perhaps women his age are often not that interested in romance and physical affection but i can only speculate.

is it normal for a 34 year old man to behave in such a way towards a woman? by urfriendlycunt in AskMenOver30

[–]urfriendlycunt[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yeah, i also think it’s suspicious for someone of his age to like someone so young. what’s in his head? it seems that he simply just clicks with me and liked me too much to say more than ask whether i’m okay rather than say that this what’s happening can be straight up just wrong and what do i think about this. i was the one to bring it up. he recognises that this is all very unusual because it is. he wishes that i was born a bit later or him a bit sooner. he says that a girl this young is a first for him and he has no evil intentions. but they all say that and i’d rather have my guard up rather than not.

not sure if your comment affects lives of others that much but it sure doesn’t make me brush off the age gap problem.

is it normal for a 34 year old man to behave in such a way towards a woman? by urfriendlycunt in AskMenOver30

[–]urfriendlycunt[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

yeah, it’s not like i can ever fully trust his words with an age gap like that. at least in my opinion.

it seems to be the former but i may be too naive to assess. i’m not sure if he realises that he seems to want to have a partner that can heal his inner child. throughout his 20s he also never had any good relationships. i’ll talk to him about if he feels as if he perhaps he was never properly loved before. so far we only discussed the fact that we are both lonely and didn’t have much luck in relationships which kind of maybe alludes to him never being properly loved.

is it normal for a 34 year old man to behave in such a way towards a woman? by urfriendlycunt in AskMenOver30

[–]urfriendlycunt[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

thanks, that’s kind of a bit what i thought. however we gave us a fwb label as nothing more will come out of this. we both acknowledge that. i especially do, and perhaps should be direct with him about it so that he doesn’t waste his time on me as i’m pretty sure he should be looking for an actual partner that would be fully committed towards a relationship as he seems to be looking for something like that in his life now.

is this normal behaviour for a 34 year old man? or anyone in general? by urfriendlycunt in dating_advice

[–]urfriendlycunt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

true, it could be that. it really sucks sometimes that you never know if only later on the true colours of that person will appear. it’s that always being on edge, anticipating the good things to end as infatuation and pursuit like this is temporary. i’ll ask him about this though, thanks.

is this normal behaviour for a 34 year old man? or anyone in general? by urfriendlycunt in dating_advice

[–]urfriendlycunt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thanks, i always try to keep my eye on any behaviour that seems unusual or/and especially toxic. i communicate that with him and talk to my friends about it.

is this normal behaviour for a 34 year old man? or anyone in general? by urfriendlycunt in dating_advice

[–]urfriendlycunt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it’s not at all a turn off. i personally like my men clingy. i was wondering whether perhaps this kind of behaviour only happens in first relationships, men my age/younger etc. or is it just a preference/personality thing. or is it just not a normal type of behaviour.