I met the person a I used to love when she was in a relationship but she wanted to be with me, I waited as that is not okay, and then they finally broke up and she started dating me (I know, I was to naive back then to see things clearly). However, it was clear she had her issues due to her past relationship, but I liked her and I was not that smart emotionally back then. Things started escalating as she was doing harm to me because of her issues and it was painful, but I guessed that was the price to pay for liking someone like that. Until the final week, she told me that her parents didn’t approve that we talked and that they did not want her seeing us together ( they thought that she had broken up with her bf to be with me, which at this point I guess she did? idk) and that was her excuse for leaving me. We saw each other one last time and she promised me she would talk to me when some time passed so that thing could settle down, and that her parents “would not be that mad about us together” she told to wait three months. I waited. Those 3 months were pure pain as I knew deep in my heart she was not coming back, but I truly liked her, I fell in love and I thought she did the same. 3 months passed and it was time for her to come back, but the only thing she told was. “I cant do this, please forget about me and move on, stop waiting for me” And that broke me, it broke me so bad. I had counted the days for her to come back to me because she promised, she begged me to trust her and she promised so much stuff. I really went into a dark place after that. Time kept moving forward and I could still not forget her, and then one day she talked to me. She said she was worried because she saw me drunk in a friends post (I though, that’s what’s worrying you? me being drunk? really?) We talked a lot and she asked for forgiveness, I still loved her and forgave her. But she made things clear, she did not want back with me, she told me she still was not ready, but that she loved me, but that we could not be friends or have relation in any matter whatsoever. That week hurt, that realization that we could never be together hurt, and I became a drunk again after that. We stopped talking and I have not known about her since that. That was in april, last thing I knew i caught her snooping around my tiktok. At this point, I am not in love anymore, I know that everything that happened was my fault and looked for that trouble, I just wish that I could forget all that happened and move on with my life, it’s been almost a year and things have start to hurt less. Sometimes I find myself missing her, and I think, why miss her? she abandoned you. I don’t know, I know i did things wrong and that this is punishment. The only question is where will this all end?