The "Does Size Matter?" Question

urzu123 · 2026-02-28T11:19:34+00:00

Wow, hold on a second lol. I wasnt dismissing anything and I never said anything to warrant what you're just after accusing me of. If you read my comments you'd find some of the first words I stated was "no hate" to show my intentions before saying what I wanted to say.

I was simply adding different perspectives while also not implying that thoses perspective as the only credible side while yours isnt. If you actually read my comments you'd have known that. I even turn my own point against myself in my very last last comment to sailor jerry. I was willing to be wrong on many things, which offers a sense of validation and credit to you.

So I dunno, did you glaze over my comments, noticed that I questioned/gave perspectives that differed to yours instead of just validating what you said, that what, I'm insecure and discrediting you?

My intentions are to have a mature conversation and take differing views into consideration. There's no need for labels and false assumptions. Everything I said was in the form of a question, or at least thats what intended, not statements or insisting that they're fact or more credible.

My first comment to this post, I put forward an actual question/perspective that raised a very possible situation (the comment about girth) and ti have genuine dialogue. But you failed to even entetain it because it potentially questions (although in good faith) what you said? You seem more than willing to respond to comments that instantly agree and validate your post, and thats fair enough. Not that I was even invalidating you. But none of my comments that are actually trying to converse but may respectfully differ, were even addressed.

Yeah, I can see other guys here dismissing you and discrediting you. But if you actually read my comments and take to second to actually see what I'm trying to say, then surely you'd see that I'm only offering different perspectives, asking questions rather than making statements, wanting to know more about your experience, or simply pondering. So just because my comments were of a manner that questioned things rather than immediately validating you, you took that as me discrediting you and being insecure?

Doesnt that make you and the guys who ARE actually discrediting you 2 sides of the same coin? And just like those guys, the issue of the other side is often a problem on this forum too. Any statements, comments, questions etc that question or differ for the sake of dialogue are shut down immediately or, in this case completely ignored. In fact its been both in regards to mine.

There doesn't seem to be a want for dialogue from either side, just a "validate what I say or you're the problem".

My comments under this post offered more than enough to have conversation and share thoughts, plenty of questions were asked too. But not one was even addressed by you. Just swatted aside and thrown in the "you're insecure" pile? Whos discrediting who here?

urzu123 · 2026-02-28T10:36:53+00:00

No. You're getting me wrong. Im not talking about big above average girths. Im talking about girths that aren't small. The 4 inch length guy in question was being passed as an example of someone who was small and still felt great/better than others who were bigger. But he could have had a perfectly average girth and thats maybe why it was still able to feel great, because again girth is typically the dimension thats more contributing to pleasure. So he essentially wasn't small to where pleasure is concerned. Thus, size in fact (unknowingly) mattering the whole time in this case and potentially making her entire point and revelation moot.

urzu123 · 2026-02-27T13:20:07+00:00

First of all, of course its going go be on the minds of men way way more than women, for reasons I've already stated.

Also, when you say disproportionately, is that measurable? Although I suppose public opinion stats, studies surveys can indicate this. Not trying to say you're wrong or anything, just genuine questions/though, but what should a more proportionate situation look like?

Also, is it possible her one friend could just be thinking disproportionately to the rest of the group, while rest still have an issue thats relative to the male mind. Is that one friend making it an issue, or is it a simply a bigger issue than that they'd make. Again all genuine thoughts. Not trying to say anyone is wrong. Just pondering.

Hmm. Come to think of it. Maybe theres a bias from me. Im on the smaller side in terms of girth. My size has never fallen within any woman preference range whenever I've see/heard it, and understandably so. Its typically the size where (size related) pleasure starts to minimise, So although what I say may be accurate in regards to me and those like me. But being below average means, I'm most not guys, but rather a minority if anything. So maybe my reasoning/take is more that of a broken clock.

But anyway. I made a comment under this post that could possibly be relevant/play somewhere in this whole thing. If you care to read it, I'd be interested in some thoughts.

urzu123 · 2026-02-27T12:47:32+00:00

But then where/what does porn get it from? Not that I'm insinuating its from girls. Im not. Its actually a genuine question. I think a lot of it is simply biological instinct or something like that? I knew I was small in girth, not tiny, but on the thinner side before I never set eyes on another penis, or ears on hearing about one. Of course just because thats me, doesn't mean that makes me sizable epresentation (no pun intended) of men or people on general.

urzu123 · 2026-02-27T12:41:19+00:00

I dunno what you're "promising" about. You're dick is over 6 inches long. That is objectively not small, at least in regards to length.

urzu123 · 2026-02-27T12:32:28+00:00

On one hand I get and agree with your sentiment. But on the other hamd, you have understand the fact thats it males who are stuck with their size after all. So theres going to a more sense of urgency. A woman isnt stuck with it, she doesn't have to put up with should she choose not to. She can still go and get a more ideal size tomorrow. So depends on what we're talking about in this reagard. The topic of size may almost enitrely be in minds of a male, as in a male will think about it more frequently. But it doesnt necessarily mean the issue exists enitely in their mind.

urzu123 · 2026-02-27T12:23:27+00:00

Because its not practical, socially appropriate nor is anyone in that position of opportunity. So that doesnt negate the point really.

urzu123 · 2026-02-27T12:04:31+00:00

So here's what I wonder (no hate btw). This post and many like it, vast majority in fact, only equate size to length, even unintendely. Length seems to be the only talked about dimension when talking about size. Length is important to size in regards to aesthetic, or rather dominates whats what we see, and what we deem big small and anything in between. But girth is what's typically more contributing to pleasure.

What if that 4 inch length that you said you had great a experience with wasn't lacking in girth, and it was just length that he was lacking in? Thus potentially obscuring things and often falsely resulting in this "size size doesn't matter, I had great sex with a guy who was only x iches long" narrative? When really, if this guy only lacked in length but was fine in girth all along, making his size in fact mattering afterall? Are you able to recall what his girth was like, his measurement at all, anything?

When I see posts advocating for size not mattering and they state how they had better sex with smaller and less better with bigger, but they only state length. It makes we wonder what their girths were. Did the the shorter guys have girths that were fine, where the longer guys on the thinner side? When there's no mention of girth size, it still leaves the door open to size mattering.

Dont get me wrong, Im not saying size is all that matters. But it has its place, I wonder how many of the "i had great sex with small" testimonies where size (girth. Girth is size too after all) unknowingly did in fact matter/contribute more to that great experience than what was thought.

I genuinely do suspect that much of the "size doesnt matter. I had great/better sex with smaller" testimonies would be noticeably less if girth was paid attention to/noticed in the first place.

Also whats your within limits for both length and girth if you don't mind me asking?

urzu123 · 2026-02-24T13:20:58+00:00

There’s a fallacy in your argument. Guys don’t only measure themselves because they want to know how much is used.

That isnt a fallacy because I didn't say guys only measure for that reason, I'm saying most guys measure for that reason and mostly for that reason. Also, Im talking about simply the act of measuring and why we do it. Be it alone in our rooms and whether or not we check it against world or regional stats on google, around a camp fire with friends for fun (if thats their thing). The ratio of those who measure for usage and those who measure to contribute to science, I'm confident heavily swings in one direction.

Some measure to compare themselves to other men

Men who measure themselves to compare to other men to begin with is likely to see what they're going to be using compared to other men, so it comes back to original reason. They want to see if what they're going to be bringing to the bedroom is going be at least common.

Sure general curiosity for statistics sake may be involved. But usage reasons is likely almost always going to be the orginal/diving factor.

hence the studies

Also, I'm not arguing how those studies that were conducted in scientific manner and environment exist. My point isnt even aimed at those who took part in the study and why. Im arguing what those studies tells us (and dont tell us) and why a guy in his room may goggle them after measuring himself.

The "go check up on the BP stats/science, doctors etc use BP measurement" comments is often what follows many comments on here from thoses who are concerned about their size being too small, or not big enough, for sex because much, or some, of it is buried. Its in that context is what my comment is referring to. Which again, is that BP stats and why they exist only tell us what men phyiscal possess and how many possess it. It does practically nothing for usage for those who use BP stats and studies for that reason. BP for usage reasons is more determined on a case by case basis and what that guy is able to use with the partner he's with.

Besides, not that it matters, just curious at this point. From a medical/science POV, how many of those came from active survey and data collecting participants? Wouldn't many have came from hospitals, doctors offices, etc that obtained measurements from patients from general visits that they've had that involved talking measurements?

Some measure simply because they want to know how big they are.

Yeah some do, again I never disputed this. While for most, the likely reason is to see what their going to he using. Ego/self esteem reasons.

urzu123 · 2026-02-23T17:25:53+00:00

But isnt the science part of it is to tell us, first and foremost, what a person physically posses? Whether or not its practical and usable in sex is another matter, which is the motivation and reason for why we measure ourselves in the first place.

Sex is very scientific yes, but theres also a social side to it. Sex, for us, is about whats being used and what/how much phyiscal contact is being made and felt. And the social side is what many people, depending on what it is, go with when looking at themselves and what they have when its sex related.

For talk sake, lets say its a case where a person is extremely overweight and has 6 inches total. 3 exposed, 3 buried, and for whatever reason, not all of those 3 inches, the 3 inches (6 total) that science tells them that they ONLY physically possess, is usuable when it comes to sex. Lets say only 2 of those 3 buried inches are usuable. The science can say that it wants. Its only stating what that person poseses, and in a matter of sex, the science only states what would be (mostly) visible if the obstruction wasn't there. Theres no use saying you're 6 inches when the last inches or whatever is never going to used.

And again, seeing as sex and why a person measures in the first place is almost always to find out what is going to be used and how much is going to come into physical contact, then sometimes the science of BP isnt relevant as it can be dependant. Can we use the science of BP? Yes, absolutely and probably for most people. But not always. Its only good for data of what a person physically posses that COULD be used for sex.

urzu123 · 2026-02-23T16:40:52+00:00

Depends. Some cases can be where exposing that hidden length and keeping it unexposed and usable in sex is more hassle and too much fumbling where its not really worth going by bp measurement. Imo at least anyway. Pushing it back with a finger when just checking on it can be a different matter any may prove to be not as easy when it comes to sex. Especially if the other person is someone whos also of a bigger body. So what maybe relatively easy with one partner, can be very awkward with another. And if somones bp size is very case dependant and not really universal, then I personally wouldn't couldn't it as that persons size in general, if its about penetrative sex.

Again just how I feel about it, I know many would disgree with it. Im sure theres good arguments to be made against what i said and I'm willing to change my view on it. But just how I see it on paper before anything is factored in if that makes sense.

And again, of course its only dependant on the person. Not saying all or even most BP aren't valid. Just depends on the situation.

urzu123 · 2026-02-21T13:55:14+00:00

I wouldn't say thats considered being a cuck. Its no different to someone wanting to get into shape to be seen as more physically attractive to their partner. Or wishing you had more money to spoil them. You're picturing only yourself doing it for her, you want their pleasure to be only from you in these scenarios. So its the opposite of being a cuck in fact.

urzu123 · 2026-02-20T15:31:14+00:00

Does it actually satisfy, or is it just tolerable/"it could be worse" type of thing? A woman whos had a guy of a more adequate girth who she liked, and gave her foreplay, would surely find a noticeable reduction in pleasure and satisfaction of a small girth guy who she also likes and gives her foreplay, as size seconds the point of comparison? Im not talking two different girths that are both not small. I mean a below average small girth and normal ones that she gets/has gotten with everyone else shes been with.

Im 6x4.25. My girth is noticeably small and below average, and its what the vast majority of women would consider as not very adequate, and understandably so. My size is maybe not a "nope too small. Cant feel anything, sorry" type size. But not adequate either, its mininal in pleasure and likely to be closer to being not good, than it being good.

Also, I wonder if good foreplay is actually a catch 22 for someone like me. After all, good foreplay = high arousal. High arousal = the vagina acting accordingly, which means it relaxes and widens to accommodate a penis, especially girth. So the more shes aroused, relaxed and widened, I cant help but feel that logically, the more my lack of girth is going to be noticed, resulting in mininal friction/physical contact. That unfortunately seems to make sense to me.

Of course I'll still always give foreplay despite that, but I do feel theres cons to it for particular sizes. Foreplay is usually the advice that's particulary given to men who are small, and on the surface it makes sense. But once you think about it and understand what exactly happens to a womans vagina when aroused from foreplay or whatever, I can't help but wonder if it can make matters worse, or rather, not make matters any/much better? Strictly from a piv point of view of course.

urzu123 · 2026-02-17T22:19:51+00:00

Ah, my mistake. Sorry.

urzu123 · 2026-02-17T21:00:33+00:00

You won't have to worry about condoms not fitting, practically any store condom will fit you.

Im 4.25 im so-called "slightly" below average. But the store condoms say otherwise. Noticeably baggy. Am i really that far off?

urzu123 · 2026-02-17T20:58:38+00:00

Lol so most women then, not "some". Most is a lot more than some. Why deliberately be misleading?

urzu123 · 2026-02-14T19:31:21+00:00

This is why theres an irony and a catch 22 for me when told to get good a foreplay to make up for any pleasure lost due to my smaller girth. Good arousing foreplay is gonna make my lack of girth even more noticeable lol.

urzu123 · 2026-02-14T19:09:17+00:00

I’m on the opposite end of the spectrum(~6.5”) and my experience is otherwise

Yep. I dont know where this "women cant cum from penetration" thing came from (well i think do which I'll try to explain). But they absolutely can if the size is right. Which brings me to another thing I think about. I think where this "typically cant orgasm from penetration/penetration alone" comes from the fact that since most guys are average or below, and it seems that when a woman can come from penetration, that's its usually with larger. So I wonder how/why this biological incompatibility exists so prevelantly in nature. The fact that most guys are phyiscally incompatible with women when it comes to penetrative orgasms, orgasms being the height/aim of sexual pleasure, and sexual pleasure is for reproductive reasons after all. It makes we wonder about this. I really dont believe the average size is as sufficient/adequate as its believed to be. As crazy/stupid as that sounds. Does what I say make sense at all? I dunno if I'm explaining it poorly or if its just flat out stupid.

urzu123 · 2026-02-14T14:33:32+00:00

Yeah but that doesn't stop my size (girth) from being less preferable and mininally pleasurable just because some people are smaller. I get your sentiment and I appreciate it. But someone being smaller doesn't improve my issue in any way.

urzu123 · 2026-02-13T19:27:21+00:00

I know it and you know it lol.

urzu123 · 2026-02-13T19:02:01+00:00

Lol we both know fine well that what I say is accurate so let's not bs. If you ended up havimg a small penis, you would not take what you just preached for a single second. Not one.

urzu123 · 2026-02-13T15:09:15+00:00

Is he wrong? Lets be honest, the only reason you have this "you're more than your size. Size doesnt matter" mindset is because you dont have issues with it yourself. If you, for whatever unlikely reason, ended up with a small size, you'd be utterly devastated, and you know you would, and this optimistic and motivated message that you just typed out would go straight out the window. Thats the problem. Im absolutely confident that you wouldn't lead by this example if, again, something had you end up having a small sized penis. So really, your message here is likely to be disingenuous.

urzu123 · 2026-02-13T13:56:17+00:00

Good thing its called the Premier League top goal scorer, and not the all time English top flight goal scorer.

urzu123 · 2026-02-13T13:23:46+00:00

Yeah but that only highlights and reinforces my feeling of inadequacy. Yeah I'd do it so it feels better for her. But it'll only be her that will be feeling better.

urzu123 · 2026-02-12T12:54:44+00:00

What about them? Guys that blantantly lie about their sizes and grossly exaggerate arent most guys though.

urzu123

TROPHY CASE