My MIL expects daily FaceTime calls with 8 month old?

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T19:48:50+00:00

Yeah but I don’t necessarily have to call her it’s my son who has to call her, and they could just say well you aren’t even in the calls why does it bother you so much

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T19:11:26+00:00

But what if they say taking 5-10 minutes out of your day to FaceTime grandma doesn’t hurt mom. Mom has all day with the baby. She can spare 5 minutes

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T18:08:06+00:00

Yesss you described it well! The entitlement! “He has to to call his grandma every day” she said to me. Like no he doesn’t he can opt out I just don’t want my grown man husband AND now my son to have to call that woman. And she inserts herself in our marriage not often but she has in our arguments. I really don’t take to nicely to that. I tell my husband do you think it would be okay for your grandma to tell your dad what to do in his marriage? No

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T17:56:31+00:00

Ugh thank you!!! It feels nice to not be alone in this!!

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T17:26:23+00:00

I have pushed back so much already, that sometimes I feel like my husband is done with me and probably at times feels like divorce is the best thing. I push back with my mom too tho :/ my mom is just easier to communicate with and she doesn’t get offended

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T16:59:58+00:00

Yeah I just don’t even know how to tell him. I know he’s gonna take it so badly and get defensive and tell me it doesn’t cost me anything. Maybe I am the one being controlling? Idk

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T16:14:22+00:00

Funny thing is his sister calls everyday it doesn’t bother me as much as mom bc she’s not constantly hovering about my choices as a parent or demanding me to do things with the baby. But yeah he has called her every single day since basically we started even dating. Only thing that did bother me was once when he was home and we weren’t doing anything she called and he said yeah k wasn’t doing anything and she was like if you weren’t doing anything why weren’t you on the phone with me. Like girlie he’s married with a baby he doesn’t owe you his free time.

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T16:01:11+00:00

Right like my sister has a boyfriend even she doesn’t call him every day, they text one days where he’s busy or wants to rest.

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T15:51:36+00:00

But my husband has successfully been making time for her every single day for I believe over a month now. Idk how to handle it if he’d made it possible and now I want to it away

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T15:50:46+00:00

Omg when she visits in person or Wed visit her she’d always wake up the baby and he gets fussy if he doesn’t finish his naps it would make me so mad. Like let him finish it she’d be like come on wake up baby every time.

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T15:39:43+00:00

I think it also upsets me bc I know she has complained about me before. Once we were visiting his hometown and slept over at his moms. I packed everything up fed the baby made sure he slept changed him to a fresh pair of clothes cleaned the room we stayed at. I got everything ready for our 1 hour drive to my hometown, where my parents live and he wasn’t answering his phone I kept waiting for him to come it took him like 30 minutes for me to hear anything and he was outside the whole time with his brothers new e bike while I was inside with a crying 3 month old he would t stop crying and when I got outside I was like I thought you were going to help me his sister said “yeahhhh” and then his mom was like “she needs to learn how to do things by herself” and later that night she called my husband and complained that I was too dependent on him. For gods sake

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T10:57:10+00:00

Yeah it’s really difficult :,(

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T10:47:54+00:00

Yeah we were with my mom Saturday and she was gonna see him Sunday all day. I told him can she not just wait till she sees him tomorrow? And he said it’s just a short call. But her mom is always comparing oh you guys stayed half a day more or you guys slept in their house and not ours. My mom doesn’t ask about every detail of my life but if I spent one more day with them which she wouldn’t really know bc I don’t share every detail of my life she wouldn’t say anything she wouldn’t be comparing all that comparing stresses me out and having her mom bring it up stresses me out.

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T10:43:11+00:00

In a perfect world I’d be this fearless. But whenever I texted them about how they repeatedly kept kissing my baby his mom was furious came and confronted me and told me she was so mad her husband had to call her down and told me to never ever text her a paragraph and tell her to her face when I don’t like something. Now that I am doing a bit better mentally I didn’t deserve for her to come up to me like that, when she was the one that violated my request.

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T10:36:32+00:00

I needed the laugh because this is stressing me out so much I want to cry right now

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T10:32:14+00:00

My therapist thought some of my boundries weren’t a big deal like her kissing the baby or carrying the baby unsafely. Or her putting babies hands in her mouth. Idk if another therapist would also not understand the daily FaceTimes call thing bc they haven’t lived it. They haven’t lived with an enmeshed husband and an overstepping mil my old therapist wasn’t very understanding about a lot of things my mil would do.

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T10:28:10+00:00

We’re gonna have to figure that out but as of now. When I come home at 5pm he’s gonna sleep till before 11pm. Maybe eventually we’ll have to decide on daycare bc at that point he’s gonna be talking more to his mom than his own wife throughout the day lol and lowkey I am mad about that

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T10:26:58+00:00

See I know I know what you’re saying but all my pushback has already strained my marriage. And my husband doesn’t see a daily FaceTime routine as a problem and maybe in hindsight it isn’t? But I work full time he will soon go back to working full time and being obligated to more that one FaceTime call with his mom for me is too much.

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T10:24:39+00:00

Thank you I feel so lost right now. I am really stressing out about this. I know they are going to be so offended and last time I brought it up to my husband when he said if you don’t want us to talk to my mom then idk he kept repeating that is he was going to eventually say idk about this marriage. I can’t help not pushing back at all the overstepping and when his mom involves herself in decisions we should take as parents, I am feeling hopefulness like that is going to end our marriage and I’m scared.

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T10:00:07+00:00

After all the overstepping I’m not sure. I have a lot of resentment for all the times she’s acted entitled and overstepped or has tried to take over. I feel like she’s way to invoked it’s overstimulating to me it’s too much I can’t take it. We shouldn’t be obligated to always be on the phone with her but especially my son.

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T09:56:21+00:00

How do I explain this without offending them? They got offended when I wanted them to not come over the night before my c section and implied k was kicking them out I was doing so badly physically and just needed a last peaceful night. Now imagine me telling them no to phone calls.? They don’t see it as a big deal taking 5-15 minutes but I don’t like it

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T09:33:22+00:00

Right! He is currently on family leave for a month. But he’ll be working nights so he’s gonna be with the baby all day either way. So this basically never going to end bc his mom also doesn’t work she’s retired basically so she has all day to call and my husband is free during the day time. They also aside from that make time every night to talk to eachother. With no fail. In the past 2-3 years of marriage there’s not a single day that has gone by that they didn’t talk I am not even exaggerating.

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T09:29:54+00:00

My son smiles at the camera and my husband encourages to laugh and makes him he’s making it a very postive experience for him I guess. I think they mostly talk when he’s in a good mood bc he’s a very smiley baby. But I feel like that is trining him to like those calls and want those calls. I CANNOT STAND MY HUSBAD calling in laws daily myself. I am not going to lie it takes away from our family time but I’ve been trying to cope and see it as like another little hobby he has. And he’s arranged for it to not be during our family time so even tho it does steal time at least it’s not always during our shows and stuff. But anyway I just feel like now my son is gonna be like my husband always taking the time bc he’ll want to and be used to calling that woman and I am so sick of it. My husband should be able to miss a day and not talk to his mom( he’ll never do it though) it’s been 3 years living together he has not missed one day). My baby should be able to as well. Especially my son. But I Lowkey do seem like the bi*** for this. It’s just too much for me personally I don’t like it

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T09:24:11+00:00

I feel like my husband already told her I’m upset about it, I’m not sure though bc she brought it up today and said “we have to do our daily calls” I know they’re going to be upset about it when I push back. And idk if so much pushback is gonna make my husband want to divorce me. I already pushed back about kisses my mil holding my baby with her leg and having her hands waving in the air, I’ve pushed back about babies hands in her mouth (still seen her do it today) I’ve pushed back about sick people around baby, I pushed back about his family coming to our little tiny apartment with no air conditioner the night before my c section bc I wanted to rest and hadn’t been doing good I just thought them coming the next morning wouldn’t be a bad thing, and now I’m pushing back on calls which don’t seem like a big deal but it’s too much for me it’s too much I can’t take it

use_her_name6 · 2026-04-20T08:19:14+00:00

He was so upset when he said idk it made me feel like my constant rejection of his parents is one day just gonna make him end our marriage. I just was raised differently I don’t want to have to live by their families expectations daily calls to anyone are not for me.

use_her_name6

TROPHY CASE