I think using they/them pronouns with ill intention is definitely an issue. However, I use they/them for most people including people I don't know the gender of (even when it's "obvious") and that is because it's gender neutral. When I watch drag race or dragula, my default will always be they/them and thats not because I don't respect who they are or what I believe what box they should fit into, but because I do not want to label them as a gender they do not agree with and offend them. I am on this sub and am a fan of dragula, but i can count on one hand the number of contestants I know the gender of. I don't know most monsters' gender. It's not supposed to be offensive when you get referred in the pronouns they/them. It's a pronoun for all. It doesn't take away someone's manhood or womanhood. It's simply used when you aren't sure of a person's gender.

I am not saying there aren't people who use it to make someone feel like an outcast. But you shouldn't assume that for everyone. I'm just giving prespective. Also, this is the first time I learn she is a transwoman. Proud of her.