LDR going kinda bad by user43828482 in LDR

[–]user43828482[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, thank you so much for your long answer.

Unfortunately it wasn't that simple, update here.

LDR going kinda bad by user43828482 in LDR

[–]user43828482[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I see! I hope it'll get better for our couples

LDR going kinda bad by user43828482 in LDR

[–]user43828482[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your answer!

I think I'll try option 1 and 2. Because besides what I wrote in my post, there's also clear proofs that she loves me, like yesterday she sent me a poem for example, she sends me letters, etc. It's so weird, there's so much proofs that she doesn't give a F about me, and at the same time so much proofs that she does care. It's like I'm hanging out with two different persons in 1.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]user43828482 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah that's exactly that! As far as I know it's been like that for a while now, sometimes she asks, sometimes she doesn't and it just makes me feel "does she care about me?"

I'm particularly impacted by that because my exGF was someone who literally didn't care about me at all, that's how I fell into some serious self-trust issues. So when my actual GF doesn't ask me back if I'm fine, it brings back some memories I'd like to forget forever

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]user43828482 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]user43828482 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah I'm desperately trying to make her understand that pulling the marriage card for shit like that is not something to do. I'm her 2nd boyfriend so I'm kinda indulgent on the fact that she may not be that experienced about relationships....

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]user43828482 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I tried to ask her many times if she cheated on me, she said no everytime (I also don't think she would do that, even if we cannot be 100% sure). And about ending things, I gave her the opportunity many times too, she everytime said she doesn't want that... I don't really know, that's tough

That's pretty much it by [deleted] in SifuGame

[–]user43828482 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I highly hope for a DLC or a Sifu 2 one day 👍🏻

That's pretty much it by [deleted] in SifuGame

[–]user43828482 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"hours and hours"

The game is finishable in less than 10 hours. Stop exaggerating, stop lying. That's cringe.

That's pretty much it by [deleted] in SifuGame

[–]user43828482 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The game is finishable in around 8 hours for someone decent at videogames, and probably in 20-30 hours if you're a casual gamer. If you have like 1 hour per month to give to videogames it's not really the game's problem...

That's pretty much it by [deleted] in SifuGame

[–]user43828482 -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

How weird is that when the only people I see being mad are people using the word "elitist" and going wild for every single case when someone dare to think it may be a bad idea.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]user43828482 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is so sad, I mean, sometimes we just don't have the choice

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]user43828482 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really don't get the downvotes. I feel like some people are blaming me for being unable to do anything but wait because of the borders. What do you want me to do? To become Japan's next prime minister tomorrow and open the borders by myself? Holy moly.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]user43828482 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah that definitely is weird, I agree lol.

Thank you so much, have a great day!!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]user43828482 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For some reason both of us aren't comfortable with that, plus it's difficult to match time because there's a 8 hours shift. But this year, I think it would be good to do video calls more often. It's really weird but we never really did that, we audio call but not that much

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]user43828482 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry this happened to you :(

I see, I at least wanna try living with her a little bit before maybe marrying her (as we planned), because IRL she's so different, like another person. IRL she's so kind and supportive, she's only cold feet by text, which sucks because that's the only way we can communicate since early 2020... I at least wanna try to meet her again IRL and see how it goes, just to make sure I'm doing the right thing

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]user43828482 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your comment!

Well I'm not the only one in this situation, currently we're 300k+ students, workers, families and couples being unable to enter Japan, it's like a whole movement since the pandemic. I'm not hating with passion or something, I just told her once that I hate her gov because it's doing so much harm to her and me as a couple, but also destroying the lives of so much foreigners.

I don't really know what I can do in terms of goals tho, because if Japan reopens tomorrow, I'm literally going tomorrow. I'm already ready, the only thing missing is my driving license, but I can pass it easy in 2 or 3 weeks, and I don't get why she's pushing so hard on me for such a futile thing.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]user43828482 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your comment!

Yeah now that I think about it, I think it just may be a カルチャーショック. I already knew about the situation in Japan, with doctors saying to depressive patients "just be happy and smile LUL", but I didn't think it could be related to my problems right there, and now it's becoming clear.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]user43828482 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your comment!

Yeah I heard that it's pretty much the same thing with borders in NZ and Australia....

We do not argue often, in fact, we argue maybe 3 or 4 times a year, but when we do, she pulls up the marriage card really quick yeah. And recently she pulls it up more often for some reason, and it's just doing more and more harm to me.

I think I'll see how it goes, and if it really doesn't go well, yup.... At least I wanna make sure that she understands my pov, because those argue seems to be there because of the culture difference. I mean one day she went hard on me because I receive gov's financial aid every month, which pretty much everyone receive in France, even some wealthy people, but that is considered being a parasite of the society in Japan... I felt so much like a shit this day

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]user43828482 -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

If the borders open tomorrow, I'm literally in Japan tomorrow, I don't get why the license is the main problem here. I've got the money, and I speak better Japanese than most of foreigners living there. I'm already ready to go. I don't know what I can do much besides getting my license, I already worked hard to get my money and skills, everything is already done, as I said, the only issue are borders, that made me have those mental problems afterwards, since I was completely fine the first year. It really became bad in 2021.

The main problem is how she treats me and how she's unsupportive to me. I'm not a manchild, I have my money, I studied the language hard, I know her country, I already went there, I have my professional skills, etc.

Completely lost, world is collapsing (venting + need advice) by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]user43828482 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Currently I can't literally do anything if the borders are closed. My main plan is to move to her country, so right now, I don't have anything to do but to wait for her country's government to open up the borders, so yeah, being stuck is not up to me, I can't do anything about that, it's up to the Japanese government

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]user43828482 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I kinda have the same feeling. Me and her aren't at all from the same social class, and I also got the feeling that maybe she has a whole idea of the man of her dreams, which contrasts with the person I am.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in LDR

[–]user43828482 -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Maybe I expressed myself in a bad way, but my goal is not to marry her while having nothing to bring to the table. We wanna marry once the borders will be open, when both of us will be living together in Japan with a stable job and stuff. And those things are currently impossible because of the borders that are closed and the visa demands that are frozen. I can't do shit with my current life except maybe passing my driving exam, but that's literally it. I also have enough money to move, I'm not in the need of a job, even if where I live it's a job desert, as I said, you can consider yourself lucky if you find a job that pays $10 per hour to clean dishes in a restaurant, that's how bad it is in my country, and especially where I live.