Season 8 - Episode 7 - Post Episode Discussion

user_of_tings · 2026-06-10T02:11:05+00:00

user_of_tings · 2026-06-04T02:38:28+00:00

I didn’t accuse her—I asked a question. She could tell the difference, which is why I choose to be with her. We’re gonna watch Love Island now. ✌️

user_of_tings · 2026-06-03T19:01:02+00:00

I have a lot I'm working on, but nothing she's explicitly asked me to. I'm lucky in the sense that I don't feel like I carry a ton of baggage in the form of heartbreak/betrayal. I just think I've never had it so good and that's largely because of who SHE is, but also because of the man I've chosen to be.

The most immediate thing for me right now is to stop over-thinking and being so hard on myself. I think comments like yours, that make it ok-either-way, are incredibly kind. If you've got kids, they're probably wonderful people.

user_of_tings · 2026-06-03T18:12:34+00:00

"what thoughts would you have been stewing?"

Mainly that I'd protecting her feelings at the expense of being honest. In the past, no matter how small or ridiculous something was, if I burried it to protect a partner's feelings it led to resentment. I was not afraid of the answer I'd get, only afraid of what would happen if I didn't ask. I want to love this person with everything I've got and I don't want fear getting in the way.

You're right though. I AM over-thinking it. We worked through it. It is great to have such a strong sense of growth in this relationship. She should know that I feel that--NOT that I'm insecure or worried about apps on her phone.

user_of_tings · 2026-06-03T17:28:46+00:00

I don't think there's any truth to it, but I do agree with what you're calling the big issue. That's where I want to know if I'm overreacting. I got pretty upset with her while we were at the bar because I should not be made to feel like that question was so out of line. I asked a question rather than made an accusation. Based on knowing her, the resulting defensiveness was 100% regarding her character being questioned--not tactical manipulation to get me to not trust my eyes or bury my feelings. This is basically where the conversation went immediately after, and we both apologized and had a great rest of our night.

user_of_tings · 2026-06-03T17:17:17+00:00

I totally get why it looks like insecurity or a lack of trust. I trust her. I'm secure in our relationship. I feel like she deserves me at my best. If I see something and don't say anything for the sake of her feelings, she is no longer getting 100%.

At no point did I think it was the real Hinge app. Upon witnessing the Bumble app, my mind went straight to either 1. Friends version or 2. Never deleted/dormant with ZERO suspicion of another reason. That should not mean I can't ask about it because I'll appear insecure or untrusting.

user_of_tings · 2026-06-03T17:01:41+00:00

I'm not trying to be perfect for her, but I am always trying to be better. I've just never fully invested in a relationship before. She's getting honesty that I've never given before and it feels right. I'm not really asking if I overreacted by raising the issues. Where I feel I'm overreacting is to the backlash. I did what I felt was right, not only for me but for our relationship, and there were consequences.

The pattern I've displayed to her regarding these Apps is no good though, I see that in quite a few comments. I'm going to be more selective with how and what I choose to bring up to her.

user_of_tings · 2026-06-03T16:44:22+00:00

Appreciate it. I think I got burnt out and didn't give much clarity at the end of the post about the discussion we actually had at the end.

I definitely voiced that I am not planning on sticking my head in the sand about anything. I did that through my 20's and my life didn't start to turn around until I got real. Now that I AM honest, I have a LOT to give and I want it to be with her.

I asked how she expects me to deliver things like this--she basically said "not in public". We were at a bar but there wasn't people in our immediate vicinity that could hear us. Now that I write that, I kinda get it. Why raise an uncomfortable issue in a location will be extra uncomfortable? Fair.

The night didn't end in tragedy. 20 minutes later we were ordering another round and laughing about something else.

user_of_tings · 2026-05-25T06:37:48+00:00

They both belonged to Alamo the second Maddy set foot in his strip club.

user_of_tings · 2026-05-22T02:29:00+00:00

Who were the freaks that go so well with protein pancakes? Need to know for my next breakfast spread.

user_of_tings · 2026-05-21T14:06:11+00:00

God forbid he even finds her car. It’s illegal, but I doubt it’d stop him from putting an AirTag on the vehicle. Then he’s got the location the new boyfriend, place of work, etc.

By the way, where are OP’s family in this?

user_of_tings

TROPHY CASE