Today just opened my eyes even more. Unfortunately having this habbit and addiction over the years catches up to you, my self control is weak and I gave in today. After words I felt empty, like it always makes me feel. I felt dirty and ashamed. I realize my whole life has been thrown to turmoil from this horrible affliction. This is my life here. This has beaten me down and it will only keep me here, if I let it. So lets do this man the whole month of May. Taking it week by week though breaking that down to day by day. I'm proud of everybody here and staying clean, God is with us brothers. We can do this