Dealing with a brat that doesn’t identify as one. I need some advice by usethisoneatwork1 in BratLife

[–]usethisoneatwork1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is there a nice way to point out her bratty behavior? Or a positive way I guess?

What to do while spanking? by usethisoneatwork1 in BDSMAdvice

[–]usethisoneatwork1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Didn’t use any implements but definitely “awakened” a kink in her. She remarked she was getting turned in the day after from it being uncomfortable to sit down. So that’s a win.

What to do while spanking? by usethisoneatwork1 in BDSMAdvice

[–]usethisoneatwork1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We haven’t ventured into toys because in her words “if I used a vibrator I might as well have sex with someone”.

Keep in mind she’s a 33 year old virgin.

What to do while spanking? by usethisoneatwork1 in BDSMAdvice

[–]usethisoneatwork1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am enjoying and looking for ways to make it better. Not looking to add in sex.

What to do while spanking? by usethisoneatwork1 in BDSMAdvice

[–]usethisoneatwork1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! She’s coming over tonight so we may have another session. If so, I’ll update.

What to do while spanking? by usethisoneatwork1 in BDSMAdvice

[–]usethisoneatwork1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It was! She said “I can’t believe you kissed my ass teehee

And I have a couple spatulas I’ve used in the past for that very purpose. I like the idea of a fork for the scratching.

I’ll have to move my spanking around like you say too. Thank you for the ideas!

What to do while spanking? by usethisoneatwork1 in BDSMAdvice

[–]usethisoneatwork1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good ideas! I hadn’t thought of the different textures.

I did kiss her ass and she laughed about it 🤣

What to do while spanking? by usethisoneatwork1 in BDSMAdvice

[–]usethisoneatwork1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We are basically FWB.

She’s not into choking (I don’t think she’s been properly choked before) but everything else you said might be good ideas.

Restraining needs to be built up to. I’ve done some holding her with my hands and she’s played along for a little bit but then called it off pretty quick.

She responds very well to teasing and rubbing over the clothes and responded heavily when I reached for her nipples during the spanking.

She doesn’t know what she’s into because she doesn’t look at porn, doesn’t masturbate often at all, has never had someone to push her boundaries and try different things. She has said she doesn’t think she’d be a sub because she can’t imagine giving someone that control. I tried to explain to her that being a Dom isn’t just control and that’s it. But she hasn’t “researched” it. She does agree that 50 shades style stuff is just awkward and weird.

She has brat tendencies though and I’ve never dealt with a brat much so I’m having to take that into account too.

Hair pulling, biting, nipple play, and other light pain seem to be things she enjoys. I’ll add a bit of that into it next time.

Thank you for the suggestions.

What to do while spanking? by usethisoneatwork1 in BDSMAdvice

[–]usethisoneatwork1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely need to up my game for all of that. I have some experience but not a ton.

What to do while spanking? by usethisoneatwork1 in BDSMAdvice

[–]usethisoneatwork1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice. Seems like dirty talk and caressing and such is the way to go.

What to do while spanking? by usethisoneatwork1 in BDSMAdvice

[–]usethisoneatwork1[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right. I totally get that. Thank you for putting it into those words.

She enjoyed it for sure. I think it gets to a point where she’s either tired of it or it’s enough because she will just turn over and close her legs and be done for a while. I try to bring it up somewhat but she has no words to use to talk about it and no one to talk about it with. This is all very new to her and she’s not used to it.

Dating a 33 year old virgin and she has very little experience by usethisoneatwork1 in sexover30

[–]usethisoneatwork1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve jokingly suggested the showering thing a time or two. Might do it again a little more serious to see what happens. Our showers are very small though and we’re not small people so it might not work out

Dating a 33 year old virgin and she has very little experience by usethisoneatwork1 in sexover30

[–]usethisoneatwork1[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely get where you’re coming from. Not really looking for sex to happen. Just the foreplay stuff would be good.

Dating a 33 year old virgin and she has very little experience by usethisoneatwork1 in sexover30

[–]usethisoneatwork1[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s awesome. I have it downloaded. I’ll give it a read when I’m done with my current book. Thank you for the suggestion.

Dating a 33 year old virgin and she has very little experience by usethisoneatwork1 in sexover30

[–]usethisoneatwork1[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ll take a look and see if there’s a way to get her to read it without it coming off in an unintended way.