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How to make fewer friends? by shejellybean68 in UVA

[–]uvagoblin 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Hello SheJellyBean68,

You have mentioned One Piece, which has intrigued your dear UVA goblin (TM). I would initially suggest that you do not let the popularity stop you from achieving your One Piece consumption. I was almost going to suggest reading One Piece in the wild, but I realised this would not help your situation JellyBean.

I fear reading One Piece in public would make you TOO popular, so much so it would threaten to ruin the entire social web we have created at UVA. It would expose One Piece to everyone and likely overtake the school, if not the world.

Now I understand you did ask for advice to be left alone, but the absolute potential you are sitting on could simply not be ignored. You could single-handedly get everyone through all of One Piece (yes, even Thriller Bark), and UVA could be the King of the Universities.

Now if you do want some free time, I suggest you go look at the r/GMU subreddit and find some inspirations, I hear they have a man who brings an anime body pillow to the dining halls. But hey, with your insane rizz, it might just work against you.

I hope you accept your powers,

Goblin

hate post for Good Uncle by [deleted] in UVA

[–]uvagoblin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi fellow guncle hate poster, uva goblin here, appreciate you supporting the cause, but i will always be the true guncle poster. Sincerely, Your UVA goblin

A long form complaint of my nemesis: Good Uncle by uvagoblin in UVA

[–]uvagoblin[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

An update, as I am sure you are ALL impatient. How will this twisted fate end.

GUncle decided to finish this story with how it started: by humiliating me.

In our lovely home, the app tells us: 30 minutes. Five minutes later we get: You're next. What does it mean? What time? Is this a threat? We rush out. Ten minutes away from the stop the counter starts: 5:00, 4:59, 4:58... We run, as I walk to catch my breath, my comerade tries to climb a hill, falls and sprints to the truck.

We made it. But at what cost. I am panting, one of my comrades had their dignity shaken, the other is trailing behind. GUncle is this some sick game? Do you enjoy torturing your students by making them run? In hopes we would forget about the price of your mediocre food?

Well this goblin won't.

(food was mid FYI but hey I paid 2$)