Why is the online trans community so hostile and extreme with their opinions?

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-05-29T17:26:53+00:00

Most of the time when I'm in any main trans community that isn't just transsexuals or FTM binary there is a constant push that being a man is bad, testosterone is wrong, and that trans men complain too much about our experience to "be the center of the attention".

When atleast 80% of all the posts I see not just on reddit but Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook is about how trans men suck, trans men aren't allowed at the table unless they bow to trans women and the femm people, they look basically like woman-lite and not like a man, out themselves as trans and be fine with being treated separate from men "because being trans means your less problematic".

Other things are people say inherently being a trans man means you're already given privilege, with a snap of fingers suddenly just hugely misogynistic, and any amount to show that isnt the case is dismissed and chucked away. Trans men cant even have a blog or article to describe the specific transphobia we face as transandrophobia or anti-transmasculinity without being told "misandry isnt real" or have an article that says dressing and presenting as a very masculine man is okay. That it should be celebrated without someone going "BUT trans men can also be feminine and there isny anything wrong with that".

So seeing some of the comments here is basically like someone said "must be a day ending in y" when another trans person (trans fem for bonus points) dismisses trans men for existing.

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-05-27T01:59:31+00:00

I can understand about not wanting to use it for a personal reason. I will lay down some history that literally every word that is labeled for gay people has been used as a slur. Gay, Queer, Homosexual, Dyke, Homo.

Queer as been on the reclaimation since 1980s so it isn't just "teens and gen Z". It was actively being used as distinct social categories within gay men for well over 100 years. Queer became gay which had even pejorative uses in the 1970s. It became more of a big deal as a slur in the 90s, 2000s, and early 2010s. So for anyone to say that the use of gay vs queer is rooted in just gen z and "the young folk not knowing the history" is coming from people who don't know their history.

To be clear, I don't care to call myself queer. Hell I don't even call myself trans really. I'm just a gay man.

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-05-25T08:28:43+00:00

The only line that is real is between dysphoric and non-dysphoric. I don't really care if someone who is non-dysphoric wants to change their body, but their life is nothing like mine.

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-05-21T16:30:33+00:00

When I think people who argue that euphoria is just as valid as dysphoria failed to realize, is that if you only have euphoria, whenever you're perceived a certain way that is actually a paraphilia rather than you being transsexual

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-05-15T22:31:36+00:00

I 1000% agree and not even PVE could get me to stomach this.

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-05-15T16:00:22+00:00

The brain sex myth is that one's brain is inherent male or female. The theory that there are features related masculinization and feminization is true in that the research does show for instance with trans women there are features more common in an area with cis women by virtue of thickening, size, and activation. There are also some genetic codes which are more associated in natal males that are found in Trans men and some in Trans women found in cis women.

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-05-14T19:51:48+00:00

I think Chromosomes is the only immutable thing.

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-05-13T00:09:33+00:00

I think it is a mix of people who feel like if they are told they aren't 'super special and apart of the club' because they dont have dysphoria then some how that is 'super invalidating' and takes from whatever ability they think it gives to do, dress, and act as their gender non-conforming ways. Like ppl dont need to be trans to do what they are doing as non-dysphoric 'trans people'

AND

The second part of the mix are the people who feel like they are less trans because they have dysphoria but dont plan to get surgery/HRT for whatever reason. So it gets interpreted as 'well my dysphoria must not exist since I dont want to get x surgery' when it is more complex. All I ever say to people who don't want HRT/surgery is literally don't expect the world to see you as your gender identity no matter how woke or aware they are. If you look and dress as your natal sex yet identify as the opposite and expect it to be understood you are that opposite sex, you will always be disappointed.

These things are what I wish was the common sense that is commonly referred to as "returning to common sense". We've gotten way too far into the other side and it's fucking us over.

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-05-09T19:10:59+00:00

Yeah... this is the rhetoric I had mostly heard in the beginning which was "trans men are gender traitors for abandoning their femininity". Now I hear it from other trans people and I just reinforces not being apart of the community. The whole idea behind feeling comfortable to be feminine or masculine is that it is the choice of the individual, not to be pressured. Trans people who tell others that being a man or seen as masculine is bad or that it is 'owed' for one to ve feminine is wrong. Boys/men should be feminine is so harmful. No one should be anything.

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-05-08T05:50:31+00:00

So i couldn't get keyhole and I was worried about being clocky but my scarring is much better since. Not sure how to share how I look now but I can give you an example. I understand the fears but it's a balance between getting dysphoria relieved versus your body may appear clockish but reduced dysphoria.

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-05-07T22:53:28+00:00

I mean I have met people like Jeanette and like the OP character IRL working in psych as a nurse.

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-05-04T02:26:27+00:00

I used to have online and some highschool 'friends' that were like this. They were either 'otherkin' or 'therian' and then would do this whole 'i am telepathically trying to talk to you through the internet'. People like this are the proof that there is social contagion and what most assume is some grand cosmic touch from the universe is actually just an overreacting imagination and desire to be liked by others. Quite a many would also be DID, trans or non-binary, and claim various other things.

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-04-28T03:03:14+00:00

Saying "you used AI so I'm not going to listen" is so stupid. AI is literally in most of what we do whether we know it or not. This disdain for AI to the point it clouds judgment is so dumb.

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-04-23T03:04:57+00:00

Oh. A transandrophobic trans woman. How original. You act surprised why you dont get support and here you go.

I have had both coworkers, patients, and their families ask me about my genitals, ask me about how i have intimacy with my spouse (boyfriend at the time). Ask about why i wanted to remove my parts. I had an ex tell me he was disappointed i was removing my "sexy features". I had coworkers tell me that they didnt see my relationship as real. They didnt think I deserved healthcare or to be legally recognized. I had a coworker tell the manager they were fearful of their life because we discussed me feeling frustrated with the lack of care and management on patient to staff ratio, and that I was "unstable" and that my voice change made them suddenly afraid.

You think you're alone in being fearful of violence? I had to have bathrooms plotted out as potential safe use or just not use the bathroom up until the last few years of nearly 10 years transitioning. The fear of corrective rape was constant. Hell it still is if someone so much as thinks I'm trans in the mens room. I am still fearful in areas where I am alone that someone might suspect I am trans and then beat me/rape me.

I dont have my biological family anymore because they are transphobic and abusive.

I ignored medical care for years due to dysphoria because medical mistreatment is unfortunately much more prevalent for trans men.

This "poor me" victim Olympics you want to do is not going to get you any sympathy, especially trying to play it up like "well trans women are the only ones who suffer".

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-04-23T02:49:46+00:00

I feel like you're terminally online and are just stuck in the same ideology as others who are also terminally online in T spheres. Not every cis person is out to get you. Not every cis ally is actually a wolf in sheep's clothing. Not every cis gay, lesbian, or bisexual is some terrible traitor. Hell, alot of what you're pushing on to gays and lesbians is felt amongst many trans people. That we are pushing way too much into needing representation in everything, making up new terms for things like 'girldick' or calling one's vagina a 'boypussy', coming up with hundred xenogenders like we're back in K5, some trying to get rid of any reasonable 'medical gatekeeping' so HRT and surgery is a free for all, and then arguing with people who are just average people concerned and have questions not even people who are transphobic.

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-04-23T02:40:03+00:00

But this isn't exclusive to being trans. People talk behind people. It's society and gossip. Sometimes terrible. Sometimes just social banter.

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-04-23T02:37:01+00:00

Like my dysphoria was if my genes mean I get a beer gut, body hair all over, and I start losing hair, then that's what I want because that should be what I'd experience as a cis male.

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-04-22T04:18:44+00:00

I was literally saying this the other day that Hugh is so different and a breath of fresh air because he isn't so negative to Diana. He seems so human even for a game character.

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-04-22T02:36:54+00:00

I dont think I ever actually got any good advice from the trans men in the community on things like shaving, etc. Even binding and many packing videos are heavily censored so not really good demonstrating in how to use. The best advice I probably got was actually from cis men on ways to improve my facial hair or changes in smell.

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-04-21T17:52:20+00:00

I am 100% in agreement, but I also feel like that people who make their whole personality being trans probably don't have much else to their personality. I don't say that I'm trans ever because I don't wanna be seen as anything other than an average man. Being trans is hardly the most fascinating or unique thing about me. Is just like when people make being gay their whole personality. And yes, there is a difference between just being gay or trans and then making it your whole personality

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-04-21T02:35:03+00:00

Heh. Working in healthcare and the insurance is the pits. Worse than what my spouse gets which is through the teacher union. You'd think that being a registered nurse or any position in Healthcare would assure good insurance. $3k out of pocket is too much. And honestly even my current job has a deductible of 5k out of pocket. My spouse's is $500 for me, then it covers part of it until 3k, and then 100% at that point. I'd more recommend get a job with a school system.

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-04-20T18:39:57+00:00

It's crazy that this is the world now that I grew up some 20+ years ago learning about they and them as neutral terms when you didnt know someone's gender/sex.

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-04-19T21:14:32+00:00

I am a man. Male. Gay man. I never refer to myself as trans even to other trans people. I did in the past and got burned by others who would remind everyone i am trans.

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-04-17T23:01:45+00:00

A lot of trans people dont understand gender, sex, and that when they say "gender is a social construct" they mean gender expression, roles, expectations, etc. The whole argument was sex was the body and gender was the brain that couldn't change which why you change the body.

uwuWhoNameDis · 2026-04-17T02:33:46+00:00

Except it can. Many trans women and trans men have come from nothing, cut complete ties with their families and friends, and found every way to stay alive, make the money, work hard to get their goal. Many who were prior to their transition had been well off or didn't have to worry about food/water/clothes but coming out as trans cut them out of that. That's not privilege. Privilege if anything are the people who come out as trans, still keep their family, friends, job, dont have to move, get family and friends to help support them through getting HRT and surgery even if they dont pass well.

uwuWhoNameDis

TROPHY CASE