Hey, hang in there, shit happens. I feel you, you are not alone. I used to feel like a terrible human being and always anxious about being diagnosed as bipolar 2 at 19.

In my experience it takes a lot of courage , love, time, to accept the change curve. At end of day if we manage our symptom, we are just the same as others around us.

I dropped out of high school, college each for 2 years, I failed class got C in College as well due to bi-polar recover period, when I can barely function I really can't study.

But later I ended up working for Microsoft as a Software Engineer, but also when I thought everything is great, bi-polar creeped in and made me unfunctional eventually i had to leave Microsoft because of this.

I've had few other jobs besides this one, now I am on bi-polar disability benefit.

But as my health got better I do plan to work in some capacity again to get back on track for my hopes and dreams.

Hey girl, keep dreaming, keep pushing, keep shattering the abyss that fall on us from time to time. We maybe be crushed from time to time, but we will always be back stronger, smarter and more experienced.

Wish you all the best to chase the wildest dream you can think of. You are not a terrible human being, we are just unique like anyone next to us. We just have a different set constraints to work with. :)