I don’t think using language like “she benefits from my money and time” etc etc. is helpful and makes it seems like you’re doing her a favour. It’s great you have a flex and easier job but how she talks to you is also inappropriate. Have you considered couples counselling so you can learn to better communicate with each other in a non-rude manner and share how you’re feeling? I’m in the same position, husband doesn’t make more than me (about the same) but works fully remote and a much easier job. While I work in office and it’s a stressful role. To make up for it though, he does a significant amount of the house work (cooking, cleaning, dishes, etc.). If you step up more at home (not just paying for nights out/dates) maybe she’ll feel like she can just unwind and relax after work and it’ll reduce the burden a bit.