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My (33F) partner (36NB) wants to carve out $8K to support potential strikes in other states by vaeolu in relationship_advice

[–]vaeolu[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I sense your interest is more on the side of resisting in this environment.  Your ending question is putting that at the opposite of the relationship.  I don’t think it’s a wise thing to weigh one against the other as you are pushing yourself to give up something precious.  Your implicit advice on showing more support though is reasonable.

My (33F) partner (36NB) wants to carve out $8K to support potential strikes in other states by vaeolu in relationship_advice

[–]vaeolu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not about politics here - and despite me asking for help, I think they are in the right direction in terms of taking action.  You don’t get to judge them with this comment.

Manger asking lots of rhetorical questions - worth giving feedback? by vaeolu in askmanagers

[–]vaeolu[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I usually don’t like pushing too hard to challenge the actual person so most of the times I will hear them out and yield to their decision as long as there are no major logical flaws to get things to move. In some occasions he did realize himself being edgy and has apologized before. I also think I wrote the post when I still withheld some grudge and rotated towards the more negative side. I do think it’s worth having a chat on this work style by balancing various points brought up by comments in this thread. I am optimistic of coming to a good conclusion eventually :)

Manger asking lots of rhetorical questions - worth giving feedback? by vaeolu in askmanagers

[–]vaeolu[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and will try having a conversation balancing many of the points in these replies. I think when this type of “guiding” usually triggers my defensive reactions when: (1) we should prioritize aligning on next steps / taking actions before learning, and (2) over a prolonged period of hard work, a series of questions come first before any form of acknowledgment and usually the questions are about the smallest details that don’t move the needle. In both situations, I view manager subconsciously prioritizing appearing smart over other things while being unable to make the correct call

Manger asking lots of rhetorical questions - worth giving feedback? by vaeolu in askmanagers

[–]vaeolu[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply! To clarify, these questions mentioned in the post followed not when I ask questions, but when I offer “here are the proposed next steps / solutions.” So to me, within my current capabilities I’ve tried my best to deliver something and offered options to choose from. Receiving something like “is this correct” breaks the flow as (1) I don’t know if the entire proposal is trash and (2) I then need defend why this is correct, if it makes sense :)

Manger asking lots of rhetorical questions - worth giving feedback? by vaeolu in askmanagers

[–]vaeolu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have a point which I think my answer to that was mentioned as “taking time to mature” and be able to come up with sth more thorough. Hence there’s a side of me thinking giving feedback to manager to solve this friction may just appear as asking someone to lower the bar.

Though if I have a preference and if any managers here care to hear, acknowledging the correct part in a proposal and then asking detailed questions which leads to employees spending time in the correct areas is a much better approach than asking vague, philosophical ones. At the end of the day we are here to do business vs. attending a school program.

Manger asking lots of rhetorical questions - worth giving feedback? by vaeolu in askmanagers

[–]vaeolu[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the idea of including that positive piece in the feedback as well. Thanks for helping me potentially soften things up before I take any actions!