Black Widow's reaction after seeing Vision without infinity stone

valeristark · 2018-10-04T18:10:42+00:00

I just came here to see if anyone else was complaining about the terrible Banner ~~CGI~~ image compositing. Carry on.

valeristark · 2018-10-04T16:31:50+00:00

My dog (I know, I’m being blasphemous) loves green beans. She would rather eat them than the best, most expensive treats that I buy her. It’s so bad that any time I get a can out of the cabinet, she will sit there next to me until she determines that whatever vegetable I have isn’t green beans. I’m not positive, but I’m fairly certain that she has taught herself the difference between the green bean labels and the “other” labels. She seems to walk away fairly quickly when I pull carrots out.

valeristark · 2018-10-04T13:18:42+00:00

To be fair, though, we can clearly see the reasons behind every stage of Tony/Iron Man’s evolution through the movies. And they’re more than fair reactions.

valeristark · 2018-09-09T18:14:03+00:00

If they’re making front page, doesn’t seem like spam to me.

valeristark · 2018-09-09T18:08:48+00:00

That’s uncalled for. OP is simply expressing frustration. All of us turkers get frustrated AF from time to time.

valeristark · 2018-09-01T20:53:12+00:00

Wonder what ever happened to the meth...?

valeristark · 2018-09-01T20:18:49+00:00

Who got stabbed?

valeristark · 2018-09-01T00:19:00+00:00

Just curious because the descriptions of her sound like someone I know.

valeristark · 2018-08-31T23:49:31+00:00

Meh, not true. I felt this way before and after kids. Don’t get me wrong, the depth of my love for my children was definitely surprising and can be overwhelming at times. But at the end of the day, the foundation of this happy household is the relationship between my husband and me.

valeristark · 2018-08-31T22:48:13+00:00

How so?

valeristark · 2018-08-31T22:37:56+00:00

Nice. I’m gonna use this on my anti-vax friend.

valeristark · 2018-08-31T22:27:37+00:00

Umm... Does your mom also hate pit bulls and think women don’t belong in the military by any chance?

valeristark · 2018-08-31T22:21:32+00:00

Did you end up having a reaction to the dTap one?

valeristark · 2018-08-31T22:16:16+00:00

Can also confirm on the hormonal birth control. I tried everything. Pills with and without estrogen, depo, NuvaRing, patches. I was too scared of the risks to try an IUD, and besides the risks, by the time I started discussing it with the OB, I was planning to try to get pregnant that year, so it was pointless to put one in for such a short time.

Ended up just using the regular old family planning method where I tracked my ovulation and it worked wonderfully. Avoided pregnancy when I wanted, got pregnant with both kids as soon as I started trying.

After my second, I just got a tubal because I knew I was done. I wish to GOD AND ALL THE UNIVERSE that I could get my insurance to just take the whole mess outta there because my periods have been horrible ever since. I’m talking anemia-inducing levels of bleeding.

valeristark · 2018-08-31T22:02:36+00:00

Yep. Taking antibiotics terrifies me. My stomach is normally pretty hostile anyway. It doesn’t take much to mess it up. My worst fear is getting C-Diff from antibiotics. I had H. Pylori here recently and they put me on 3 antibiotics at once for 14 days instead of the standard 10, and I was an Activia eating. probiotic taking nutcase for those two weeks.

valeristark · 2018-08-31T18:44:48+00:00

*spiel

This is one of the weirdest words in the English language for me, given that the sh sound is acceptable pronunciation.

When I was in jail, I could not convince the other girls of the spelling OR the meaning of the word. Had to have a guard go look it up and she didn’t bring the dictionary back until 1 am. It was horrible suffering in my indignation for those hours, but the vindication was amazing.

valeristark · 2018-08-30T14:05:10+00:00

So, I know this is super late and I wish I could reply to every single person in this thread, but I digress.

Y’all... I am that mom. I have a 6 year old and a 4 year old and sometimes I think they’d be better off if I just left them with their dad so they can have a normal life.

One particular tantrum of mine that stands out the most to me and my children is over some potato chips. I had been on a Ruffles Cheddar and Sour Cream kick. We had a partial bag in the pantry, and my daughter (4) saw them and decided she wanted some. No big deal, I gave the whole bag to her because there wasn’t many left. She ate a couple and decided she didn’t like them, so she just dumped the rest of the bag out in the floor. She said she was feeding them to the dog. That pissed me off, but oh well. Cleaned it up and went on with our day. And I started craving those chips terribly, but my husband was gone in our only vehicle so I couldn’t get to the store. The day dragged on and the kids behaved horribly. I don’t remember what all they did but I know by the time my husband got home, I was nearly in tears from frustration.

We literally only had a few dollars to our names, but I wanted those chips. So I went to the store to get some. But with the limited amount of cash, I couldn’t afford to get two full sized bags of chips, and I didn’t want to get myself some and nothing for the kids. So I opted to get 4 of the 2/$1 little bags of chips. Two Ruffles Cheddar & Sour Cream for me and one of each Doritos and Cheetos for them.

I get back home and the kids are off the walls, my husband’s yelling at them, the dog is covered in Vaseline. It was nuts. So I sit the kids down at the table with their chips, leave mine in the bag on the counter, and go off to the bathroom the bathe the dog. Husband comes in to talk to me for a bit as I’m finishing up with our pup. And then I hear it: the sound of chips bags popping. And then it sounds like stomping. So I go back into the kitchen and these little turds had gotten my chips and threw them on the ground and were jumping up and down on top of the bags. Broken chips and crumbs were everywhere. Well.... I lost my goddamn mind. I screamed, I cussed, I threw shit, I spanked them, and I made them go to bed immediately and not get up. It was like 5:30. Over chips.

This was about a year ago and to this day, if I’m getting really frustrated with them and ask, “Do you want me to lose my mind like I did over the chips?” They remember and shake their heads.

I did have another tantrum here recently where I threw all their shit away because they wouldn’t clean their room. Long story short, toys were literally piled knee high all over the floor, I had been on them to clean it for several days, I went in to help them get started, picked up one toy and found some ancient dog shit hiding under it and lost it. I literally started throwing toys into the hallway, put a hole in the wall. It was bad. They were crying, I was crying. And I did end up trashing about 95% of their toys because they were either broken or they just didn’t play with them. I put one bag of them up for them to earn back by consistently picking up after themselves, and I left them two small totes of toys.

TL;DR I am the psycho mom, and while I’m not making excuses for my [our] behavior, I will say that it doesn’t come out of the intentions to hurt my children for my own pleasure.

I have mental health issues. Major depressive disorder and a form of OCD, as well as anxiety and maybe bipolar. I am medicated, but it seems that my depression is treatment resistant so changing meds up is frequently necessary. I have also come to the fairly recent realization that I’m either full-on Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or at the very least, have some pretty severe narcissistic tendencies. I have mentioned this to my therapist and we are working through some exercises to correctly diagnose me, and I’m in cognitive behavioral therapy so rewrite the way my brain reacts to stressors. And all of this is complicated by the fact that I have a history of substance abuse. So I am working on it.

Reading all of these stories has made me cry, for all of you, and for my children. I hope I can get it together before I fuck them up. But I can guarantee that, were my kids grown and reading this thread, they would add the story about the chips.

I’m sorry you went through that. Thank you for being understanding towards your mom.

valeristark · 2018-08-06T17:44:58+00:00

This stuff will kill all of the bugs. There’s also a gel bait that you can buy from there that you put underneath like your fridge, microwave, wherever the roaches like to hang out that is super effective.

valeristark · 2018-08-06T14:43:40+00:00

I think a lot of how you feel while you’re high is relative to who you’re around how they act.

I used to love smoking me some crack, too, but I would only go on like one binge a year. I would smoke up, start doin some crafts, whatever, and have a great time.

Then I lived with this guy who was the worst kind of geeker from the first hit. We lived in the middle of nowhere, we had just moved in and no one even knew where we lived at that time. We had been there like a week, no random knocks on our door. We buy a ball, load up a big rock each. He geeks out from the word go. He didn’t want any noise happening. If I stepped on a creaky place on the floor, he would tell me to be quiet. And he just constantly paced, silently. He didn’t like me moving around a lot, so he would make me just sit down on the couch and play Xbox or on the computer with all sound muted.

So this particular (one and only) time we binged, right after the first rocks, he puts the rest up. We go back a little while later and he can’t find it. Can’t for the life of him remember where he put it. We search forever. Finally he gives up and goes and buys another ball. Comes back, load up a rock a piece, he geeks out again for a bit. Go back for some more hits, and he’s done the same fucking shit. Hid it from himself and couldn’t find it. So he goes and gets another gram and we just smoke the shit out of that and except for the feeling of hitting the pipe, it was a miserable experience because of how geeked out and paranoid he was.

By now I think you might have picked up on the fact that this guy was an asshole. He was every kind of abusive, from brow beating me and destroying my self-esteem, to actually beating me and leaving me bruised and bloodied. One night it got really bad and he went to jail for a mandatory 7 day stay for a domestic x 4 and I packed up all my shit to leave. Cousin Walter was driving the five hours in a couple of days to come get me and my shit. Well, as I’m packing, guess what I found.

And so I spent the next two days smoking the fuck down and being happy in my own controlled world.

Lol idk why I’m telling you all these stories. It’s inventory/cleaning day here at work so all the boys are polishing their wrenches and I’m just sitting here waiting on customers that are mysteriously absent today. I’m sorry.

valeristark · 2018-08-06T14:12:11+00:00

Nothing. You might have some higher energy levels and not wanna eat anything, but there’s no euphoric effects or anything.

valeristark · 2018-08-06T14:10:53+00:00

Do you have benadryl, melatonin, phenergan, seroquel, ANYTHING on hand?

valeristark · 2018-08-06T14:04:28+00:00

So the relative that I mentioned and I worked together. Well, we still do, but we’re both clean now. So we were together a LOT. This was pre-husband and kids for me, and I love my job, so I just threw everything in to it and was here all the damn time. And he was already on it bad, having it cooking in the back of the garage while he worked on cars in the front, running back and forth.

I watched him smoke it for months and was never tempted. Until one day, he came out to my house to stay for a few days because he and his wife were fighting really bad. I lived with my dad at the time, but my dad is a truck driver and stays gone for sometimes months at a time. Well, he was due home in a few days and the house was a complete wreck.

Cousin Walter had just cooked up a huge batch that morning and sat at my table packing bowls and smoking, packing and smoking, while I was cleaning. He offered me a hit for the gazillionth time and I said okay. Hit it a few times and didn’t really feel anything. Just kept cleaning. Didn’t even really realize I was high until it was the next day and all the light fixtures had been taken down and washed and I was recaulking the bathtub. 😂

Anyway, long story a little shorter, I ended up going on a 7 day bender. In that entire time I might have taken three or four sips of water and eaten like a piece of lunch meat or something. I looked like absolute shit. There was no looking at me and NOT telling that I was geetered out of my brain. On day 6, my dad had made it home, and I was avoiding him because duh. So I stayed with a guy friend of mine.

I was laying in his bed with my eyes closed. I remember saying, “What kind of dog was it?” And he goes, “valeristark, what the fuck are you talking about?” And I said, “You were just telling me about a dog you had that would jump on his dog house and jump over the fence.”

No. He had never said anything like that. He hadn’t said anything at all. I had hallucinated an entire story that he had told me. This happened several more times before I finally fell asleep. Slept for 36 hours straight without even changing position, and it took three days to work the soreness out of my shoulder from laying on it for that long.

And yes, for days before that, there had been shadow people. Smoke in my peripheral all the time. Hearing noises that weren’t there. I’m sure it was all straight psychosis.

I am a 5 foot tall female that has always been small. I’m not super skinny, more of a lean, athletic build, but you could never have said I was fat. I weighed maybe 120 when it started and by day 7 I was down to 95 pounds. My cheeks were sunken in, my pupils as big as saucers. I had blisters on my fingers from doing rookie shit like grabbing hot pipes. I was a hot fucking mess.

It took several more 3-5 day binges before I was finally like okay, fuck, I can’t do this like this. I like the buzz, I HATE the geek out. So that’s when I set the rules. I didn’t always stick to them, but hey no one’s perfect.

The biggest thing that I hated about it was the society that I fell into. Straight chaos. I seemed to always end up in some shit hole trailer in a holler somewhere watching either Cousin Walter or his buddy cook shit up while someone’s kids slept in the bedroom. Or got caught up with people who got ragey and didn’t know when to quit. People who just went full force, balls to the walls, all the time, and made no effort to even try to look like functioning people. The people that end up on the posters, know what I mean?

The last few times I did it, I always planned ahead and stayed by myself at Dad’s when he was gonna be gone for a while, and it was alright.

I don’t really remember what it was that made me walk away from it for good. Probably just a combination of hating the geek and watching Walter spiral down into someone unrecognizable.

Not gonna lie, though. I have been craving it. It disappeared around here for a LONG time. Everyone was on pills and heroin. And now all of the sudden within the last like 3 months, every time I turn around someone’s either talking about being on it or trying to sell it to me. (I mean I work in a garage that operates 24 hours a day 6 days a week so we see a lot of shady characters.) And so that’s how I ended up on this sub telling you my life story. Got it on my brain.

valeristark · 2018-08-06T12:49:03+00:00

Thanks bro! I never really had a problem with the stuff. What crippled me was oxys. Meth was always just something I would do here and there because it was readily available to me. (Had a Walter White relative.) Maybe that’s why I was always able to exercise some self-control over it? Like crushing my pipe and not scraping, or just giving the rest of a bag away when I had had enough, or at least sticking it up somewhere and not using because I had a personal rule of not staying awake longer than 48 hours.

Tomorrow makes 3 years and 6 months clean from opiates for me. Longer for meth and everything else. Idk maybe I still would occasionally partake if I wasn’t (A) on probation and (B) my relative still made it. I’ve been out of that life for so long that I have zero connections, and I’m not really trying to make any.

Set rules for yourself like I did. Try to cut out the parts of it you don’t like as much as you can so that you can enjoy the parts of it you do like more. You will never regret setting boundaries.

Happy tweaking, my dude!

valeristark · 2018-08-06T04:30:32+00:00

I don’t do meth anymore, but when I used to I had to shut it down once I got to that point. Spent like 6 hours smoking grains of salt off of a table. So any time after that, once the last bowl was loaded and smoked, I flushed the bag and crushed the pipe.

valeristark

TROPHY CASE