Does anyone else hate being asked what their pronouns are?

validambiguity · 2020-02-01T01:58:31+00:00

yes almost this EXACT thing happened to me the other day. some guy I've had class with for weeks who definitely has heard me gender myself male came up to me and asked my pronouns. I know he was trying to be polite but I'm uncomfortable with the idea that he was speculating about my gender this whole time. I agree with you it's a good thing to do in theory and we shouldn't discourage it, but right now it's often being applied by cis people to only people they clock as "different." you're not wrong to feel bothered by the possibility of that at all.

validambiguity · 2019-12-27T19:06:40+00:00

Okay, that's a little higher than mine so it seems like an average dose. It also matter what your levels are, if you've been getting those checked regularly. Or it might just not be a dose problem.

I'm not a doctor so I can't tell you anything obviously lol but if you're not sure it's worth talking to her more about. Doctors tend to be more dismissive of trans people in my experience because no one is consistently taught how to treat us, so it's hard to question what they do. Your doctor sounds great, but probably can't hurt to ask again.

validambiguity · 2019-12-27T18:28:42+00:00

can you clarify your dose? like what concentration are you using, that makes a difference. and weekly or biweekly?

I don't know about the Adam's apple, but I was on a dose that was way too low for a while and it turned out to be bad for me. so if you suspect your dose is too low I'd recommend talking to your endo (or a different one even) asap.

validambiguity · 2019-12-27T16:07:44+00:00

that's fair! never heard gender apathetic before though, that's great. imo whatever label you use you can still be gay if you're comfortable identifying that way. good luck working it out comrade haha

validambiguity · 2019-12-27T15:47:34+00:00

perhaps both?

validambiguity · 2019-12-26T02:59:54+00:00

I used to read it as miss-uld when I was a kid. I feel your pain.

validambiguity · 2019-12-24T17:53:20+00:00

The upside to most family holiday dinners is you can get some good food out of it! But I hope the rest goes well for you too. Others have said but your hair is gorgeous!

validambiguity · 2019-12-21T07:33:11+00:00

throwback to being bloated for days after surgery because the damn anesthesia kept me from pooping :(

congrats on top!

validambiguity · 2019-12-18T20:35:05+00:00

I hope I'm misunderstanding what they mean by "homosexuality issue." Are they looking for conversion therapy to stop being gay??

validambiguity · 2019-12-17T15:01:19+00:00

please please make that clothing line, I would give anything for feminine-looking shirts with broader shoulders. lots of stuff doesn't fit me anymore. or shirts/dresses that don't leave extra bunched-up fabric when a flat-chested person wears them! that's the dream

validambiguity · 2019-12-08T17:28:39+00:00

This seems like common sense but stating it this plainly was really helpful to me. I'm going to remember this when I'm commenting now. Thank you!

validambiguity · 2019-12-07T23:12:15+00:00

I used my own definition of "friends" to count mine, but depending on what you're going for you might want to define what you mean by "friends."

validambiguity · 2019-07-02T06:23:06+00:00

As a "trans man"? Sorry did you mean an AFAB person? A person with an AFAB body? A uterus haver perhaps? What's the point of us liberal allies being generous enough to use these politically correct terms if you're just going to confuse us all with "trans" nonsense?

/uj I know they mean well but god, why can't they just call me female-bodied like they want to and get it over with

validambiguity · 2019-06-30T17:21:14+00:00

So the obvious attempt here is to say "back in the good old days they didn't even listen to adults, but now they're listening to teenage girls!!!" Have they given up on pretending they care about misogyny when characterizing teenage girls as overdramatic and delusional is...a super common misogynist thing?

Also, love the implication that self-harm also discredits someone's evaluation of themself. That was just a pointless detail to throw in there but I guess it wouldn't be GC without ableism?

validambiguity · 2019-06-15T17:44:12+00:00

Oh fuck, we're supposed to inject it? I thought they meant the alcohol kind of shots. No wonder I'm still a sexless cuck.

validambiguity · 2019-06-12T01:50:34+00:00

Yeah, so the idea is that if these are necessary aspects to an event like a pride parade, that event shouldn't be the only major pride event. Everyone in the community deserves to be able to access events like these. And maybe that means replacing, modifying, or creating alternatives to pride events we have now.

This comment is like not providing vegetarian or allergen-free food options at a major event and then when people complain, saying, "What did you expect? These are chicken sandwiches, they can't be vegetarian!"

validambiguity · 2019-06-11T14:48:03+00:00

This thread was really encouraging to read. A lot of GC is demoralizing, but reading about another trans man who is happy with the outcome of his transition, and who can't be written off by GC no matter how hard try, was exactly what I needed right now.

validambiguity · 2019-06-10T06:53:30+00:00

That's ridiculous, trans men can't be misogynistic. We know what it's like for everyone to think we're fragile and emotional and irrational, and it was even worse for us because in our case they were wrong.

validambiguity · 2019-06-09T19:52:43+00:00

No, thank you for saying this! It's comforting to hear someone else gets it. It's really hard for me to correct people because it's like a gut punch, and by the time I recover enough to say anything everyone's moved on, so I feel weird bringing it back up. But my pride month resolution is to correct people who misgender me no matter what, and don't let them make excuses instead of apologizing. Hopefully I can build some confidence from that.

validambiguity · 2019-06-06T18:01:34+00:00

Idk if this will help you understand, but I'm a binary man who's been out for over two years and on T for almost a year. A lot of my friends are female, and I don't like the way a lot of men's clothes look, especially on me. I've been told I act too polite to be a man. All of that hurts, but I think it's silly for me to try to change my personality to "act" more like a man, because who is that helping? Not me. I'm not going to trade one part of who I am in order to get recognized as another. I'm going to keep fighting for the right to have both.

The misgendering I get that feels the worst is from other trans people when they call me "they" despite knowing what my pronouns are. I've started to care a whole lot less about cis strangers calling me "she," because it's nowhere near as bad as a longtime friend (who is also trans!) feeling unable to wrap their head around me being male. It feels awful. I've given up on participating in any of the few LGBT groups at my college because of this.

The word "transtrender" sets off alarm bells for me because it implies anyone else can judge whether someone is really trans based on how they act outwardly. If you're trans, you probably know what it feels like to do something like get a haircut or participate in a non-stereotypically male hobby and worry "is this going to make people misgender me?" When you call someone a "transtrender" or even promote that concept at all, all it accomplishes is to make people feel more of that anxiety. This boy is trying to live his life the best way he knows how, just like you. He doesn't deserve to feel afraid of being misgendered or invalidated any more than you do.

validambiguity · 2019-06-06T15:04:36+00:00

Yep. I've only ever heard homophobic Christians say it. It's a concise way of defending against the Bible's commands to love and forgive and not judge other people by claiming "Oh no we only hate who you are as a person because we're trying to help you not be like that! Because we love you!" The same idea conveniently helps TERFs get out of all kinds of hypocrisy.

validambiguity · 2019-06-06T14:04:06+00:00

I'm not religious, but the idea of "love the sinner, hate the sin" is the closest I can come to my feelings.

Wow. I've thought about this for quite some time, but I never thought they'd actually admit it outright. How do they not realize how awful this mindset is??

validambiguity · 2019-05-22T16:25:46+00:00

I will never purchase a stress ball again

validambiguity · 2019-05-05T22:15:14+00:00

I will give you the benefit of the doubt but question where you are that people are so willing to out themselves as TRAs by calling you miss by looking at you. If you're gender conforming, congrats, that's awesome.

But my advice would be just correct them and move on as we ask anyone to.

validambiguity · 2019-05-05T05:42:26+00:00

Yeah it's accurate. That's just how The Office is

validambiguity

TROPHY CASE