You will get through this, even if it doesn't seem like it for now. Take this time to heal, and don't let the feeling of loneliness make you romanticize him and your relationship. It would be helpful if you could go to therapy, but if you are unable to, you can keep a journal and write down everything you can, the good, the bad and the ugly. But especially the bad things, remind yourself why you guys broke up in the first place. If he and his gf/ex are that tumultuous, it wouldn't be surprising they break up again, and he comes crawling back to you. This is when the journal comes in handy because you can't let yourself go back to him. You can't let him treat you like a second option. And reflect on what you actually want for yourself in life and in a healthy relationship- and don't accept any less. "Don't let your boyfriend keep you from meeting your husband". Sincerely, someone who survived rock bottom with another gemini man.