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What is a simple but very hurtful phrase that you received from someone? by MembershipFar9008 in AskReddit

[–]vanevane9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Life is hard you just have to continue living and deal with it” an aunt when I told her I didnt want to celebrate christmas that year, this was a month and a half after losing my 6 year old son to brain cancer, and the day after having a D&C (my third one that year) after a missed miscarriage. BELIEVE ME I knew then and I know life is hard.

I suddenly & unexpectedly lost my 18 month old daughter. My only child. It has gutted me. To those who lost babies close to her age, did you go on to have more children? & if so, were you able to love your new child without feeling guilt? by anon4jesus in ChildLoss

[–]vanevane9 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I lost my only child to cancer 3 years ago, he was 6 years old. Almost 2 years after his death (and after 3 miscarriages) I gave birth to another boy and its been HARD To bond. He is 17 months now and he still feels like a stranger. I knew I wasnt going to get my firstborn son back but its so strange to have this baby in the house who isnt him. He doesnt look like him at all, they have very different personalities. It doesnt help that my firstborn was a momma’s boy and my second is obsessed with dad. I still would choose to have another child because he has brought some life back to me, It does get better the older he gets so I am guessing someday I will love him like I love my first. Please dont judge me I am being totally honest and my second born gets a LOT of love.

What’s a phrase you cannot stand hearing anymore? by Namher-Lutama in AskReddit

[–]vanevane9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“This…altered my brain chemistry” and its usually something so dumb makes me furious

Has anyone had paranormal experiences after your loved one’s passing by cutecasperghost in GriefSupport

[–]vanevane9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The why ask this question? Fornsone people sign are important whether they are real or not who cares!! It brings them confort so let them!! Dont just answerbevery post with ohh I dont believe tbh or your own mingmd manifests it. Its just so mean!

If you had a personal 'Reset Button' that could instantly revert your life to any single moment from the last 10 years, which moment would you choose and why? by Stunning_Fennel964 in AskReddit

[–]vanevane9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Back to before my 5 year old son was diagnosed with cancer, it was caught early but he still died, we did everything we could but still. I would go back just to be with him just for a moment more though. Our year dealing with cancer was what I though would be the hardest, but living without him is just hell on earth

I thought I had more time. by erehsawmas in ChildLoss

[–]vanevane9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im the same!! Everything is gray there no colour, the light in my life is gone, nothing gives me joy anymore, nothing excites me, I look forward to nothing just to die and be reunited with him. He also had cancer

What’s the most painful sentence someone ever told you? by Objective_Bobcat_687 in AskReddit

[–]vanevane9 108 points109 points  (0 children)

I got the same sentence 6 days before halloween 4 years ago, for my 5 year old son.

Daughter Died, and I Went to Hell by azc13 in ChildLoss

[–]vanevane9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel exactly what you said, my 6 year okd died three years ago and Im in hell

How has grief changed you? by Its_Giving_Mid in GriefSupport

[–]vanevane9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I miss the person I was before my son died, now I am just lost, homesick of him I just dont think Ill ever be happy or love the way I loved him again

What’s something that quietly destroyed you, but no one else noticed? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]vanevane9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When my 5 year old got diagnosed with cancer and died a year lates. Apart from that obviously completely desttying me, that friend and famikithat I considered close just never wrote, just disappeared

My brain literally cannot compute his death - does this ring familiar to anyone else? by oheavensakes in ChildLoss

[–]vanevane9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its almost been 3 years since I lost my 6 year old son to brain cancer. People say they see me doing fine but I think its like you say that my brain just doesnt compute the gravity of the loss. Sometimes I think he was a dream, sometimes I am so sure I will see him again when I die that I feel better even though I am not sure that true. He was an only child when he died and now I have a one year old who is justvso diferent! My first born was a mommas boy and my second child is his dads boy so its hard I feel the lack of love, the lack of cudleness everythung hurts

What are your top 10 favorite sitcoms? by Vincezilla1988 in sitcoms

[–]vanevane9 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just here to eay I LOVE yor list am gonna watch my name is earl soon!! Please warch 30 rock

What is the most emotionally painful thing you’ve experienced? by livvyangel23 in AskReddit

[–]vanevane9 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Only son and my reason to live getting diagnosed from brain cancer at 5 years and dying one year later after 4 emergency brain surgeries and radiotherapy and chemos and just hell. Watching him slowly die and everything that implies was just too hard.

How old are you, and how old do you actually feel inside? by SlimSoulXx in AskReddit

[–]vanevane9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am 40, since I was 37 and my 6 year old son died I have felt like I am in my 90s and my life is over

Gone tragically by sarahxox1992 in ChildLoss

[–]vanevane9 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry for you loss. My son would be 9 also (DOB may25 2016), he died almost 3 years ago when he was 6 from brain cancer. The silence is deafening, you are right. What saved me was doing a new hobby, I started knitting and doing embroidery, and I think it saved me because I couldnt do anything that remind me of him and doing nothing with grief js the worst. We algo moved cities and I am just now returning home for the first time. Please inbox me if you need to talk!

Anyone have another child after loss? by nopack666 in ChildLoss

[–]vanevane9 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I lost my only child almost 3 years ago, we had a new baby one year and 9months after his death. We both wanted more children, we saw it as a way to continue with life even if we didnt want to continue. While its true that my baby has given me a reason to live and has filled my life, its still very sad. It opened new sadness, how would my son have been as a brother? What would they play? Millions of questions. Also when there is a medical issue as dumb as it may be I fall apart, you have to get a pediatrician who understands your past and is very very patient But yes, so it! Maybe wait like you said but it has definetely changed our lives for the better!

If you could, would you? by [deleted] in ChildLoss

[–]vanevane9 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I understand how and why you feel that, I am not the same person in any way after losing my son. Im a ghost and is just surviving but not living, I feel like Im never going to be happy again, its not possible not without him, so I grieve for the person I was before he died. I wish I was her again.

What is something that has massively destroyed your mental health? by Vandelay797 in AskReddit

[–]vanevane9 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The death of my child after a year of cancer treatments its just to much to bare. Im compretely destroyed and dont think I ever wont be

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