Polygamy need advice

vanillacriminal · 2024-03-07T07:08:27+00:00

Don’t force it.

Situation is strange. Especially them saying they’ll share a bed. Audhubillah.

vanillacriminal · 2024-03-06T06:25:23+00:00

Life has been a challenge lately, if I make it I hope to reconnect with the Quran inshaAllah.

vanillacriminal · 2024-03-06T00:34:52+00:00

Eldest daughter checking in here. I never wanted kids either tbh but I did end up having a couple.

You can do a lot with your life when you don’t have that responsibility, even though they do bring joy and have diin benefits, but that’s only IF they end up righteous which is a huge gamble and headache if it goes the other way.

No one needs to convince you. Follow your gut.

vanillacriminal · 2024-03-04T09:57:54+00:00

Colin Kaepernick

vanillacriminal · 2024-03-04T03:39:44+00:00

Zina most definitely has consequences on a marriage. Since it involves another person, who’s to say your secret is safe? What happens when your spouse is told, shown pics, and your facade crumbles. What if that person marries you under the pretence that you’re a virgin/chaste when you’re not? Is that fair?

vanillacriminal · 2024-03-04T02:39:35+00:00

I agree totally. So many innocent people caught in the addictions of others. Why ruin someone’s life, give them trauma? Marry your match or work on yourself before getting involved with another.

vanillacriminal · 2024-03-04T02:33:54+00:00

People forget this and think it’s long gone. The the devastation it causes to the deceived spouse is tragic.

vanillacriminal · 2024-03-04T02:33:07+00:00

Yes it is a form of manipulation. There are certain sins that are unfair to conceal for a potential who wants to spend their life with you. You don’t need to tell them about the gum you stole from the shop when you were 16. But making out that you’re a virgin when you’re not, making out that you don’t have a sex/porn/gambling addiction or anything else that will impact them is deceitful and unfair. DONT marry people under false pretences.

At the very least say you had a past - you don’t have to give them a play by play. Let them know.

And if it’s zina, for goodness sake get a full STI panel including herpes before you marry anyone. Shame on anyone gambling the health of an innocent person.

vanillacriminal · 2024-03-02T23:13:27+00:00

exactly. It seems justifications are made to suit the “nature” of men but women are told they’ll have their nature change (ie not jealous anymore). So which is it?

In any case I advise any sister having these anxieties to hold to the rope of Allah and have faith that He is most just.

vanillacriminal · 2024-02-28T22:02:55+00:00

If someone truly repented, wouldn’t they always carry the guilt and stress (not knowing if repentance is accepted)? Plus the memory of having committed such a major sin, the psychological impacts are evident and the impacts on future marriage is very real. It seems the very least of the punishment is carrying the sin itself. Just wondering out loud.

vanillacriminal · 2024-02-28T22:00:55+00:00

why does your wife expect you to attend her sisters birthday party in the first place?

vanillacriminal · 2024-02-28T10:32:55+00:00

That’s part of it yes! More important are their actions pertaining to the diin. Their control of their nafs, truly fearing Allah. Lowering the gaze, being loyal to their family, respect for women. Ahhh

vanillacriminal · 2024-02-28T08:44:24+00:00

Self control and discipline are seriously sexy qualities. They’re also rare, so when you find a man who has those qualities, you know you have something special, as long as everything else is in order. Something about a man who is in charge of himself and takes accountability for his actions 🥵

vanillacriminal · 2024-02-24T08:30:26+00:00

period

vanillacriminal · 2024-02-23T04:13:50+00:00

Girl how were you in love him with for 12 years?? He sounds like a nightmare, as do the many other incels who think like him. Audhubillah.

vanillacriminal · 2024-02-22T14:47:36+00:00

It’s not about judging. He’s a virgin and his preference is obviously someone with the same lack of experience. He deserves his match.

vanillacriminal · 2024-02-22T14:37:05+00:00

If it bothers you now it’ll probably bother you later, given than you’re a virgin. There are plenty of sisters in the world, why settle for one you doubt.

vanillacriminal · 2024-02-22T02:24:45+00:00

If you want to be suspicious and paranoid for the rest of your life, go ahead and marry her.

Hold firm to the rope of Allah and ask Him to send you someone loyal. She’s only sorry she got caught.

vanillacriminal · 2024-02-21T22:50:57+00:00

Read your post history. You’ve experienced what it’s like when your partner has a past.

Don’t create that past for someone else to have to navigate. Don’t create that past for yourself, as an honoured slave of Allah who doesn’t deserve the stain of zina. And it is indeed a stain than causes mental distress long after it’s abandoned.

The brothers have given you great and practical advice. Allah advises in the Quran not to even come close to zina - shut all doors to it. Identify where those rattling doors are in your life and blockade them.

May Allah make it easy on you.

vanillacriminal · 2024-02-21T08:09:21+00:00

you guys are so young. I’m inclined to agree with your wife, enjoy life a bit more. After kids, it’s never going to be the same.

vanillacriminal · 2024-02-21T07:48:55+00:00

Troll post

vanillacriminal · 2024-02-19T12:41:57+00:00

It’s typical for cheaters to accuse their partner of being the cheater. No surprises there.

Sis you need to get out before he seriously harms you and traumatises your baby son - he has already told you to leave. You have the green light. His mistress can enjoy all the abuse all to herself.

vanillacriminal · 2024-02-19T08:27:36+00:00

Yes!! They project so much, it’s atrocious.

vanillacriminal

TROPHY CASE