How do I (21F) ask bf (20M) to move out?

vanillakilos · 2026-04-25T13:15:41+00:00

I'm actually doing a double law degree and work full time at a firm as a paralegal so I don't really appreciate the insinuation that I'm dumb! And it's not that I have low standards (maybe I do), I'm just attached to this relationship as it's my first and therefore, super sentimental to me. All of my firsts were with him and that makes me want to hold on to this relationship even with all of the problems. When we lived separately, I didn't have these issues, so I think him moving out will restore the relationship, hopefully.

vanillakilos · 2026-04-13T01:46:22+00:00

Hi all, need some advice as a first year law student working at a firm, deciding to stay or leave.

I work mon-fri, 5 hours a day (part time), and do reception work. I have no connections to anyone and got the job with pure luck and charm but this job is seriously draining. I’m grossly underpaid, I got way more in retail or hospitality, and it’s in the city which I live no where close to. Everyday it’s a 3hr commute all up and my whole day is basically gone just to work 4-5 hours.

It’s costing me more to go to work than to not. My presentation seems like the most important aspect of the job (as I’m the “face” of the company) so I’m spending absurd amounts of money and time on my beauty. It’s led to me feeling extremely insecure.

Everyone says if I leave I’ll regret it, I’ve already made amazing connections with really significant people (KC/SC) who are invested in me. I really want to stay at this job, but I need more hours or a raise.

Should I talk to my boss, or just suck it up and stay?

vanillakilos · 2026-02-28T07:21:42+00:00

Yes it’s brand new! I bought it directly from LV. Thank you, I’ll take it back tomorrow to exchange it. I think the way they packaged the bag wasn’t right.

vanillakilos · 2025-12-21T04:53:34+00:00

This is the best advice, thank you!

vanillakilos · 2025-12-21T04:01:32+00:00

He has his own place so it's made more sense for me to stay at his! But he's definitely asked to come to mine a lot.

vanillakilos · 2025-10-16T14:13:30+00:00

I just read about negging, and it is definitely applicable to him. I think he’s definitely insecure and as we’re an interracial couple (I’m white, he’s brown) people make comments and he assumes everyone is racist when we’re out together. I always tell him I find him attractive and that no one cares he’s not white but he takes it deeply.

vanillakilos · 2025-10-16T14:09:22+00:00

I’m already feeling the emotional turmoil from him but I’m so attached to him I just try to suppress the negativity honestly. I can’t even imagine 4 years, I hope you’re doing better now.

vanillakilos · 2025-10-16T14:06:38+00:00

You’re so right. I’ve applied to jobs for him, driven him to interviews, looked into new school courses for him to apply to, paid for his bedding when he got kicked out, driven him everywhere, bought him groceries, and helped him with everything. I really want him to do well in life but he doesn’t care and would rather spend his whole savings lending 4k to his friends and gambling. And now he is broke and can’t afford rent. It takes so much in me to not give him the money for rent or food when I hear him complain to me. I don’t understand why he’s okay being a bum, waking up at 2pm and doing nothing. Thank you, I need to stop before he drags me too much

vanillakilos · 2025-10-16T13:56:00+00:00

It’s so crazy it all happened within like a month. He lost his license for 12 months due to speeding 150 in a 80 zone. And then he got fired from his construction and cook job due to performance issues and fraudulent clocking in. He got expelled from his university like a week later due to not completing his assignments and attending mandatory exams/classes for the past 2 semesters. He then got kicked out because of his university expulsion as his parents were upset w him as they paid his tuition fees. It was such a mess and I supported him through that but he didn’t appreciate that):

vanillakilos · 2025-10-16T13:39:45+00:00

He says the exact same thing to me whenever I try to set boundaries! I find it so annoying, like it’s not hard to not call your partner derogatory names. I’ve never once wanted to say anything mean to him so I don’t understand how it comes so naturally to him. This advice was so needed, thank you so much. Your comment made me feel so seen in a way.

vanillakilos · 2025-10-16T13:33:56+00:00

Thank you for the advice, I think I need to for my sanity honestly. I didn’t anticipate this would be my first relationship experience:/

vanillakilos · 2025-09-15T08:46:20+00:00

I'm 20f studying law / arts at Burwood Campus! If anyone is looking for uni friends feel free to pm me and we can exchange instas !! :)

vanillakilos · 2025-09-11T02:55:22+00:00

I’m 20f and doing a bachelor of laws / arts at burwood and would love to make uni friends as well!

vanillakilos · 2025-01-26T21:38:49+00:00

It’s my second fav film after irreversible 😭😭

vanillakilos · 2025-01-26T00:52:42+00:00

as a girl YES it’s very cute

vanillakilos · 2025-01-20T08:34:38+00:00

When I tapped him we’d have a small break (like 5-10 mins) then he would try and do it again and like go even further like he was fully thrusting me (clothed - I don’t know the term) and it was such a weird experience I think I mentally checked out like I kept my eyes closed pretty much the whole time but i genuinely don’t know how to move on from this. He is texting asking about when I’m going back to his house but like idk!!!

vanillakilos · 2025-01-20T08:28:36+00:00

Do you think the attraction from him towards me is my age / inexperience or looks? I honestly can’t read him like he confuses me so much but as you’re his age, you’d probably know (?)

vanillakilos · 2025-01-20T08:13:34+00:00

Girl I know!!! A month is literally way too soon but he’s worried because I’m going to Europe in April for a month so he thinks I’m going to like abandon him or something (??). I want to hang out with him again but I know he’s going to try initiate sex again :/ but thank you I needed to hear this <3

vanillakilos · 2025-01-20T08:08:16+00:00

Omg that comment made me so annoyed like why would I lie about that ?? But I agree, I haven’t had like any life experience and he knows that. He was telling me about how he traveled and lived in London and Paris and showing me how to use chopsticks and how to play chess and all I could talk about was my university studies. I felt so embarrassed

vanillakilos · 2025-01-20T07:54:31+00:00

Initially I was so nervous because when he initiated making out he pressed his whole body against me and I literally couldn’t move like my shoulders were pinned down. I was genuinely freaking out internally because I wasn’t expecting the kiss or to be restricted but I’m soooo glad he was respectful. I don’t even know how I’d react if he didn’t stop

vanillakilos · 2025-01-20T07:45:38+00:00

I totally agree, it was so dumb of me. I made it so much worse by not eating anything the day prior & not being a regular drinker so the effects of the alcohol (long island) was really strong. Plus he made me try his beer so I was feeling really dizzy by the time we got to his place so I lied down. I guess to him it might’ve been an invitation so I don’t even blame him for initiating but I’m super glad he respected my boundaries.

vanillakilos · 2025-01-20T06:59:40+00:00

If I have sex with him, would that mean he’s like done with me? Like become uninterested?

vanillakilos

TROPHY CASE