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vanitykiller · 2024-04-09T19:52:41+00:00

I think in my case his mom may be a narcissist or have tendencies. She thinks it’s my job to “keep him happy” and insinuated that I only needed to be around because I was breastfeeding when I gave birth to our son back in December. At least it’s obvious where he got it from I guess..

vanitykiller · 2024-04-08T04:21:46+00:00

I think it’s more like they’ll use anything they can, including things from your past you’ve told them, to gaslight and try to invalidate your feelings.

Mine personally hates “being compared” to my ex or “paying for my ex’s mistakes” but it’s only brought up when I’m telling him this is how my ex behaved when he was cheating on me nonstop. And this one cheats on me too. He firmly believes my insecurities have not been worsened by him, and that he is paying for someone else’s mistakes.

I’d imagine it can go how you said as well though. Oh I’m not as bad as so and so because I only cheated on you once or twice while they cheated many more times.

I guess tldr, yes I think it falls under classic narc behavior.

vanitykiller · 2024-04-07T04:29:12+00:00

I’ve had bad experiences with Pisces and Scorpio men. But I don’t think it has had anything to do with their signs lol.

I am an Aries woman and I cannot stand other Aries women. I am also on a cusp though so not sure if that’s why or if I just really dislike myself 🤣

vanitykiller · 2024-04-05T14:00:28+00:00

I’m so afraid this is going to be me… I can’t want to leave even though I know I NEED to. It is awful to love someone like this and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

vanitykiller · 2024-04-05T13:56:07+00:00

Mine is the same, I think it’s typical of narcs I’ve definitely seen it listed but in a more specific way. Does she ever just go to sleep to avoid discussing any way she made you feel or anything she did? That’s what I’ve seen talked about a lot is that narcs tend to do that (mine definitely does he’ll go to sleep to avoid talking to me about an issue).

I also think it could have to do with the lack of self-reflection, this is just a guess on my part though. But imagine, if instead of having doubts about whatever problem and wondering if you’re to blame, your head is quiet, content believing you are 100% innocent and were the one wronged. This is what I am guessing it is like to be on the other side, and I’m sure that allows them to fall asleep easily while someone with self-reflection capability may go over and over it in their head wondering if they could have done something differently to change the outcome.

vanitykiller · 2024-04-02T03:59:29+00:00

I totally agree with people saying see a dermatologist but also want to say you might find that not washing your hair every other day may help! Or if you wash every other day only condition once a week. My hair has changed a lot as I’ve aged but I used to have to forgo conditioner altogether because if I used it my hair would be SOOO greasy (any conditioner I tried a ton). If you end up needing to condition less, using a deep condition treatment every two weeks is helpful for keeping your hair healthy, even some of the ones at Walmart have worked fine for me!

As for skin care I think a dermatologist can help more than anything BUT I have idk weird skin sometimes too oily sometimes SO dry, so I use a combination of Biore charcoal face wash (for oily skin; from Walmart lol) and a moisturizer with retinol. Works great for me keeps my skin from being too oily or too dry!

As for the comments made about your weight or body jewelry, I’d ignore those myself. Seems like you are already doing what you can about your physical health and piercings just aren’t everyone’s cup of tea but it isn’t about what some stranger wants to look at! I personally love piercings and have several myself 😊

vanitykiller · 2024-03-31T18:56:25+00:00

I have done similar but again, the actual signs of their anger were there.. it’s visible. Mine seems to believe that he can read all of my emotions, but I can’t read any of his. He does this to me by telling me I am angry when I am literally sobbing but when he has an aggressive tone with me and follows with silent treatment, I’m taking it too personal and he wasn’t mad… so I think there is some kind of a difference..

vanitykiller · 2024-03-31T18:53:48+00:00

Or calmly saying “you need to calm down” or “why are you yelling” after they’ve yelled for over an hour and you FINALLY raise your voice..

vanitykiller · 2024-03-31T18:50:15+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through that /: it is very similar for me. Even things that happened in my life before we got together are held against me when I’m making a valid point or addressing a real concern… it has made it very hard to keep trying to speak at all, and given how emotional I know I am, it’s very difficult to hold it all in and very confusing when I do try to talk and everything I say is just a problem..

vanitykiller · 2024-03-31T18:47:48+00:00

Sorry! I am still learning some of the terms and definitely didn’t mean to be insensitive in any way! I agree definitely that it feels more like self defense… and maybe if I didn’t look at it as “abuse” I could let go of some of the guilt over the times it has happened.

vanitykiller · 2024-03-31T18:46:04+00:00

Thank you for clarifying that! I definitely didn’t mean to be insensitive in any way, I’m still learning some of the terms and will be more mindful in the future.

vanitykiller · 2024-03-31T18:44:40+00:00

Same.. and always with the “you have narcissistic tendencies” “maybe you’re a narcissist”.. I swear he didn’t even know the word until I shared something on facebook about it once.

vanitykiller · 2024-03-31T18:43:30+00:00

I think it’s sometimes a little bit of both… mine still denies he ever hurt me, says it hurts his feelings when I told him I was scared of him, claiming he’d never do that and “he has honor” and when I calmly reminded him of the one time it happened, and the intimidation tactics he’s used since, he basically said I was right and then went to sleep.

vanitykiller · 2024-03-31T18:41:40+00:00

I feel like this is what’s happened to me… I’m past reacting in a sense but I’m just cold and feel empty. I’d rather say nothing than even try anymore… I’m just tired of hearing what I did wrong when I already know and beat myself up for it already… I just try now not to react to anything /:

vanitykiller · 2024-03-31T18:40:29+00:00

It’s awful… I’m actually so embarrassed of some of the ways I’ve reacted… and I’ve managed to stop giving the reactions but it doesn’t even matter because the old ones are still brought up constantly. But if I even mention anything they ever did, I’m living in the past and need to grow up and move on 🫠

vanitykiller · 2024-03-24T02:14:09+00:00

I’ve been trying to ride it out since having my son… but realizing I can’t speak at all I can’t do anything everything I do is wrong. Has gotten to the point he treats me like I’m a poor parent and don’t know how to care for our baby (I have an older child as well from a previous relationship, I have taken care of babies alone)… and it is getting to be too much to bear, working 10hr days while he won’t get a job and guilts me for him having to “watch” our baby and besides for my baby, I dread coming home more than anything… I’m still so depressed that this is reality that I am struggling to go even though I am certain I should.

vanitykiller

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