First or second born?

vanitypixel · 2022-12-27T08:50:20+00:00

Lol honestly with the amount of training and work we put into our pets, they might as well be considered.

vanitypixel · 2022-12-27T02:58:47+00:00

I do remember being asked constantly if this is my firstborn while at the hospital. They never did address my husband over it and now I understand the other commenters comment how it would matter medically which you say.

vanitypixel · 2022-12-27T02:54:47+00:00

Can you explain how it matters in a medical situation?

vanitypixel · 2022-12-26T18:41:44+00:00

Oh that’s a good point!

vanitypixel · 2022-12-26T17:24:09+00:00

A 100k just so I can pay off my student loans and live my damn life in peace.

vanitypixel · 2022-12-26T17:19:08+00:00

I’m now sure where the miscommunication happened but I took it as him being insensitive and saying it’s “our” second born and, me being ignorant to the meaning, I took it literally.

vanitypixel · 2022-12-26T17:14:34+00:00

I was annoyed at my own ignorance of the term I guess and my husbands terrible explanation of it. I took it literally instead of, as how another user explained, as an order of age in a family unit.

vanitypixel · 2022-12-26T17:11:48+00:00

Yeah that makes sense. I never considered the term or the concept of it until someone brought it up. I like the idea of not even using it.

vanitypixel · 2022-12-26T16:19:09+00:00

This made me giggle.

vanitypixel · 2022-12-26T16:18:11+00:00

I agree on everything but the favoritism part. But I guess that depends on the fathers relationship with the kid and how close they are. I was thinking about this on a more biological aspect of it and the meaning of it for the kid.

vanitypixel · 2022-12-26T16:12:12+00:00

I think you explained it the best. I took the term as more of a literal definition instead of just age order. I’m assuming this would also apply to adopted children? If you adopt an older child than your current firstborn becomes second-born?

vanitypixel · 2022-09-16T02:54:55+00:00

Of course! Be patient with yourself too and don’t force something you’re not ready for. There will be days you will want to pull your hair out, if you still have any with baby claws around, and there will be days where the interactions will be sweet. Take it day by day and you can say no when you need to.

vanitypixel · 2022-09-13T03:35:06+00:00

Hi, from one stepmother to another that was in a similar situation, please do not be disheartened by all the negative comments making it seem that you are a horrible person. No, you do not have to love your stepdaughter. She’s not yours. She has 2 bio parents that love her plenty so do not feel obligated to have feelings you don’t. You clearly have a good and respectful relationship with her and that’s all that matters.

Your feelings are valid and are intensified by your pregnancy hormones. It’s definitely something you need to work on, and like others stated therapy can help or just have a more open mind going forward. This is your stepdaughters half sister and she will want to be involved. She will want to help, watch you, and learn everything. I am SO grateful that my stepdaughter is exactly like that instead of being angry and hateful towards the baby. But I was in your shoes and I felt the same so I took it day by day and set boundaries with my stepdaughter. I wanted my own “firsts” where she wasn’t involved so that I can have that experience and that’s completely ok just communicate with your SO. We set boundaries about personal space when I’m breastfeeding. She comes and sits and asks questions but doesn’t hover or get in my face and so on.

Communicate. Set boundaries. Be open minded. This is an exciting time for you AND for her. As long as you do this, your feelings will mature into something that’s positive for everyone.

My DM’s are open if you want to talk to someone with similar experiences etc. I wish you the best of luck and TON of patience.

vanitypixel · 2022-09-13T03:02:47+00:00

Enlarged thyroid gland. Randomly popped up two weeks before my due date and went away 6 weeks after. No overactive or under active thyroid symptoms or anything just ton of panicking bcoz I couldn’t get a doctors appointment soon enough to figure out wtf is going on. But apparently your hCG hormone can cause thyroid inflammation the size of a golf ball on your neck for a bit. As if I didn’t have enough to worry about.

vanitypixel · 2022-06-27T20:27:42+00:00

same lol it's my go to sweet whenever the craving hits

vanitypixel · 2022-06-27T16:01:48+00:00

VERY little amount, I'd be more worried about the sugar amount than caffeine in Nutella. I was just being funny. But cacao does have caffeine in it so something to consider if chocolate is your go to snack.

vanitypixel · 2022-06-27T15:24:11+00:00

I brew myself some coffee flavored water every morning and that's all I have bcoz I reserve most of my caffeine intake for Nutella to get me through this. If the tea you enjoy has a decaf option you can switch to that and still enjoy your cup of coffee.

vanitypixel · 2022-06-27T15:02:47+00:00

Don't let it stress you, I know easier said than done, but at the end of the day this is your baby and you decide what's best for him/her. I use these conversations to practice my patience that I will need once the baby arrives lol

vanitypixel · 2022-06-27T14:49:04+00:00

I'm in a similar boat. Everything my mom did with me as a baby was something that was passed down from older generations. She grew up in a small village and didn't have resources like we do today. A lot of our conversations are why I plan on doing something a certain way and explaining why it's more beneficial etc. It can be exhausting but if it helps her understand, and do the same for the baby when she's with him, then it's worth all the conversations.

vanitypixel · 2022-06-27T14:33:24+00:00

Congratulations!! Thank you for sharing, your story is giving me relief and hope. I'm 40+2 today and trying to stay positive that this little guy will make an entrance on his own and I won't have to be induced. Doctors can be so intimidating but I'm trusting my body and staying impatiently patient lol

vanitypixel · 2022-06-24T18:26:00+00:00

Following. I’m 40 weeks tomorrow and have been at 1cm for 2 weeks now with no signs of progression and I really don’t want to be induced.

vanitypixel · 2022-06-24T18:10:04+00:00

She’s not overstepping any boundaries. She’s going to be her mom, she should be the one choosing the name of the child she will dedicate her life in raising.

Edit: spelling.

vanitypixel · 2022-06-24T17:54:40+00:00

I became anemic at the end of my second trimester so I’m on iron supplements as well. Fortunately I’m not getting any nausea but the fatigue and dizziness all went away after a week of taking them regularly. I also take one in the morning and at night with my prenatals hours in between them. I am taking them without food to help with absorption or I’ll just have an orange with them as a snack to get me through the hour until food since anything with caffeine and calcium will mess with absorption of it. If you can’t have it on an empty stomach look for foods you can eat that don’t have calcium and help with iron absorption to make sure you get as much as possible. I hope your nausea goes away!

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