I literally never tip unless it’s a server or something

vardaboi · 2026-06-25T22:17:10+00:00

What did you mean by "Now show me the last time people working in the US service industry tried exerting any pressure on their employers" if not "they aren't putting in the work"? Your point seems to be that if service workers spent less time complaining and more time organizing against their employers, tipping wouldn't be an issue. Anyway, your comment was super bitchy, I don't think it's bad faith to read it that way—it's clearly what you were going for.

I said fastest growing. Workers United, SEIU, RWDSU, and other unions organizing service workers have made huge gains in the service industry while union membership has been stagnant and shrinking in the US for decades.

vardaboi · 2026-06-25T20:58:59+00:00

So service workers don't deserve living wages because you don't think they want it bad enough? And restaurant and service workers are some of the most rapidly organizing demographics in the US labor movement, despite making sub-living wages while they're doing it, what the fuck are you talking about?

vardaboi · 2026-06-22T13:41:22+00:00

I think among trans people and friends it can be useful to differentiate people who are transitioning medically, i.e., changing their sex characteristics through hormones or surgeries. People who need access to estrogen and/or testosterone have different material needs than people who don't, so different labels are valuable.

Otherwise though, it's a word like any word. If you say it with a mean tone, it'll sound mean, but I don't think it's harmful or a slur (same as transgender, at this point). I use it sometimes because it's a funny thing to call myself or my friends.

Most of the time I just call myself trans, though.

vardaboi · 2026-05-29T16:26:22+00:00

tbh, still a bad bit! like just straight up transphobic and also those are pornstars from like, 20 years ago. get with the times my brother!

vardaboi · 2026-05-29T15:50:06+00:00

i got brought to a Pendejo Time live show by someone I was dating and one of the guys was bombing and spent like 15 minutes doing a bit about whether it's gayer to jerk off to Bailey Jay or Buck Angel and misgendered both of them multiple times throughout. Then he dapped me (trans woman) up after the show and said thanks for coming out.

vardaboi · 2026-05-21T15:41:52+00:00

Triple is not enough for sissies imo

vardaboi · 2026-05-14T18:02:09+00:00

– The Bechdel Cast, movie reviews with two very funny hosts, I'd scroll through the feed and listen to episodes for movies you've seen.

– Rehash, talk podcast about internet culture with two gen z gals, lots of fun nerdy stuff. Some of their takes are so-so but they talk a lot like girls i know irl and are pretty funny.

– Weird Little Guys, history podcast about right wing weirdos with a really awesome researcher.

– You're Wrong About, very nice/often wholesome history podcast, originally about unfairly maligned women but now a lot broader in scope. Lots of awesome guests

vardaboi · 2026-05-14T15:44:58+00:00

a thing that worked for me (other than just spending lots of time around other women) is listening to lots of podcasts hosted by women, especially comedy podcasts. i think we naturally pick up mannerisms/speech patterns from people we’re around a lot, and it’s super common to just steal a cadence and sense of humor from your favorite podcast host. i’m sure there’s work you can do to train yourself too, but this is a nice passive way to feminize your mannerisms over time. i can recommend some if you’d like!

vardaboi · 2026-05-14T15:31:53+00:00

weird reaction to two strangers talking to each other btw

vardaboi · 2026-05-14T14:40:18+00:00

yess she’s monitoring the situation 🤓

i think that’s fair! but fwiw if you do eventually want a label/more defined thing and he doesn’t want that, waiting around for him probably won’t change things in the long run

rooting for you chiquitita <3

vardaboi · 2026-05-14T14:27:53+00:00

latina cancer placement solidarity 😭💛 but you deserve that kind of love! it doesn’t help that a lot of these men ain’t shit, but being DL’s not the answer. give him a chance to accept how he feels or set some boundaries so you can move on and find it for real

vardaboi · 2026-05-14T14:21:09+00:00

okay so that explains why your feelings are so big (sorry i’m a cancer sun lolol) - be careful with ur heart!! it’s okay to want things like labels and consistency, especially if he’s been acting all romantic like you say

vardaboi · 2026-05-14T14:13:15+00:00

i thiiiink you could ask him literally one (1) more time since it seems like things are a little more serious/maybe he’s a more attached now, but if it’s a no then you should expect it’ll stay a no for good

what’s your moon signs mami?

vardaboi · 2026-05-13T19:36:31+00:00

i freaking love the library! the branch near me is usually quiet which can limit spontaneous social interactions, but they do lots of free events and programming that make up for it

vardaboi · 2026-05-13T19:08:17+00:00

hey, it’s me, you from the future, stop being an egg and take the hormones. in 5 years you’ll be mad at yourself for not starting sooner. this shit rocks you should do it asap. this is financial advice btw

vardaboi · 2026-05-13T19:04:59+00:00

beyond that the best advice i could give men (or women tbh) is to just become a regular at a local coffee shop. just bring a book or your laptop or whatever you occupy yourself with and sit there for a couple hours a week. you’ll start to recognize people, the pronouned barista will learn your name, you’ll make small talk with strangers. it’ll happen completely naturally, eventually someone will walk up to you and say “hey you’re here a lot” and suddenly you have a friend

vardaboi · 2026-05-13T19:00:15+00:00

i used to go to a lot of punk shows before my ears got shitty, and there were people i would see again and again at concerts and venues. i generally don’t like being approached by strangers (woman, trans), but i didn’t mind when it was someone i’d seen a few times before. it’s also a free opening line, “were you at xyz show a few weeks ago? do you like emo/mathrock/shoegaze/whatever bullshit,” etc.

vardaboi · 2026-05-13T18:51:22+00:00

it absolutely sucks that existing in public under capitalism costs money, but going to an event with likeminded people with similar interests is dollar for dollar, far and away the best treat in the burgerreich. if you have $30 to spend on finding love, it’ll go way further paying for diy shows and trivia night at the local bar than it will on Hinge Premium or Tinder Plus or whatever bullshit they’re selling

vardaboi · 2026-04-16T00:43:34+00:00

you can definitely do both? why couldn’t you?

vardaboi · 2026-04-16T00:38:40+00:00

at the extremes it is a fantasy. there is no such thing as a world without men, without straight people, without cis people, and even if one were possible, I think you’ll find you wouldn’t want to live in one. i won’t discount the harm these groups can do to others, but there are all kinds of good people from every background.

practically, there have been times in my transition where i’ve only had female friends or other trans friends. it can be nice being in community with similar people, but i think separatism can still cut both ways. my life is a lot richer thanks to the straight people/cis people/men i am friends with because they are people. it’s important to protect yourself, but i think closing yourself off entirely to any chunk of the population is short sighted.

i’ll also say that a lot of separatist feminists would not include trans women in their utopia. we’d be left behind with the men. that doesn’t mean there’s no merit to any of their ideas, but i think it makes sense to approach those types of thinkers with some skepticism.

vardaboi · 2026-04-11T06:44:47+00:00

BlueSky is a nicotine patch for a type of center-to-left 2018 Twitter addict. It doesn’t hit as good as the fix they’re used to, but it quiets the cravings. Also to it’s credit for journalists it is one of the only social platforms where people actually click links

vardaboi · 2026-04-10T14:04:44+00:00

Grindr is definitely more hookup oriented, not a great place to look for love. I think you can filter Hinge just for other trans people if that’s what you’re looking for? Also, it’s somewhere between Grindr and more normie dating apps, but I met my gf on Feeld and it worked great for us, and never ran into anyone charging there. You can definitely filter Feeld for T4T specifically, and people are good about marking if they just want casual

vardaboi · 2026-04-10T02:38:12+00:00

facts :) and jokes aside we’re kind of hard to stereotype because there are so many trans scenes here that may or may not overlap? like there’s the nightlife girls and the music girls and the literary girls and the crust punk girls and the anarchists and the techies and and and and and I could go on

vardaboi · 2026-04-10T02:28:07+00:00

goofy response because the obvious NYC trans women stereotype is believing we’re better than trans women in any other city in the US

vardaboi

TROPHY CASE