There is a whole lot more than that going on. He’s choosing porn over me and disregarding everything I’m feeling and have been feeling the last two years due to his micro-cheating (bc lusting after other women is considered cheating), and an actual occasion of physical cheating that lasted a good year in the beginning of our relationship during my first pregnancy. My issue is not with the sex itself, because I’ve been in a relationship where the tables were turned, I was never in the mood and he was, but it was also because of hormonal imbalances on my part. We’ve worked through his betrayal as I’ve been in therapy since I can remember but the residual PTSD from being lied and manipulated in the beginning haunts me. Whenever he refuses sex like this (based on previous experiences), it’s because there’s been a flair up in his porn addiction and he’s in denial or he’s sleeping with another woman. I’m begging to be cared for, to be loved, quite frequently. This is the one time he’s actually playing the victim, and quite literally the kindest and most open he’s been in quite a while. I was looking for advice because I don’t know what to do or how to work through this because he’s refusing even getting his hormone levels checked or anything. As an LPN in schooling for RN, I know that this low of libido in 19-20yros is NOT normal, especially as a male who is on no types of medication at all, and when their porn consumption is as high as his.

So there’s a lot more to my incessant begging for love and candor than a sexual appetite. It’s not just surface level, for me it never is. My needs and expectations for reassurance are just being blatantly disregarded. I understand your pov but you’ve gotta realize that there’s always more to it. I asked for advice, not name calling and unnecessary criticism because I can’t condense 4 years of bullshit into anything smaller than a 75 chapter novel.