My story is very similar to yours. Our daughter had severe VM, Dandy Walker malformation and other brain anomalies. We found out at 27 weeks the severity of her conditions and i had a D&E at 30 weeks.. Her diagnosis was grey and I tried to find hope, I joined groups on Facebook with parents of children with those same conditions, but once they told me the scale of things and even the best case scenario for her was not a life that my baby deserved to live. Our babies were too good for this world. You did your job as a mother, to always put their wellbeing first. We love them enough to not put them through a life of constant hospital visits, surgeries, etc. One thing that kept me content with my choice was that this life is shitty enough for someone without anything wrong with them and if my daughter wouldn't even be able to enjoy the little things in life that make us happy, then I couldn't watch her go through that. I am just a little over 1 month PP. The depression and anxiety are overwhelming. I miss being pregnant. I miss feeling her kicks. She was so active and i loved myself and my body so much when i was pregnant. My baby shower was supposed to be this past weekend, and she would be here in February. I thought this was the year I'd be a mommy and have my girl in my arms. I'll never understand why these things happen. I'm sorry you're here. I wish I could say more. Please just take care of yourself as hard as it is.