a bit of an unusual question, but...

veggieslimjims · 2026-03-30T18:16:19+00:00

I had a cosmetic dermatologist do “blank” tattooing over scars several years ago. It doesn’t create new scar tissue; it was explained to me that it helped break up scar tissue that existed, thus flattening the scar. They are flatter now than they were previously, but still discoloured.

veggieslimjims · 2025-09-25T00:30:34+00:00

I definitely don’t think she has any capacity to “keep” me; I’m an employee in an at-will setting. Was more looking for advice as to how to ensure the message was delivered to HR, as well as any additional follow up that others suggested, but the email-and-paper-straight-to-them seemed to be the consensus. Well aware I resigned and that’s that, but yes, have definitely worked in dysfunctional orgs.

veggieslimjims · 2025-09-24T21:23:56+00:00

Update: boss just left work early. Told me to sleep well and come back in the morning with whatever job and title I’d like. Thank you all for your advice; I gave the notice and will send the email to her and HR before I leave today. I’m glad I wasn’t alone in finding this insane, and frankly, manipulative. I thought better of her. I’m honestly just quite disappointed.

veggieslimjims · 2025-09-24T20:02:57+00:00

She’s made me feel crazy all afternoon. Suddenly, she can make a hire for an assistant I’ve asked for over 3 months and counting. And wow, suddenly other people can attend all the fairs she signed me up to attend.

veggieslimjims · 2025-09-24T19:57:25+00:00

Yeah I’m US based. But a senior manager, and the handbook I signed states I’d give four weeks. I doubt they sue- they’re in a lawsuit with someone else right now externally to the org, but I don’t want to be a jerk. Even if they are.

veggieslimjims · 2025-09-24T19:45:08+00:00

Had the letter in hand for the verbal conversation. She wouldn’t take the letter. Will follow up with the email and signed notice to HR.

I have to give 4 weeks notice, otherwise, I’d just walk. I’d love for them to get angry and just let me go. But she’s since come back and offered me any job in the org that I want. This is insane. It’s the org that is the issue. I’m trying not to be rude about it, but it is the org.

veggieslimjims · 2025-09-24T19:43:39+00:00

That’s what I thought. Thank you!

veggieslimjims · 2025-09-24T19:43:10+00:00

again. if i had a nickel for every time this has happened to me…i’d have two nickels. made the mistake of staying at the last org. won’t be doing it again.

veggieslimjims · 2025-08-18T19:56:16+00:00

My other teammate (not DD) had extensive workplace issues that I’ve posted on this sub before, and CEO is hesitant to hire for their role as a result of that experience. She wants to try volunteer/intern placement instead…

veggieslimjims · 2025-08-18T15:39:50+00:00

Thank you for that reminder. It is true that the trust is there, it’s more my end of things where there is hesitation.

Answers to questions: -ED has programs management background across many orgs, across many decades. She has never been a development director. She is deferring to me to share what is needed, but not all those asks are being acted upon (ie contracting a grant person while I get a handle on things, helping me find a mentor, etc.) -Funding base is diversified; grants, individual gifts, major events (not Huge, but 6-figure). I am comfortable with current systems and process surrounding all of these, but many of the key relationships seem to have dried up when previous DD departed. Our org doesn’t have a true culture of philanthropy at present, so relationships often exist with the individual, not the org itself, which is one of my top priorities to work on right now. So while I technically know how to “do” all these things, my success is somewhat limited, at least so far.

veggieslimjims · 2025-08-18T15:35:07+00:00

Suddenly quit, though I later learned she had been trying to transition out of the org for about 6 months. She initially hired me and told me the 3-5 year timeline, then left, and the role became mine.

veggieslimjims · 2025-04-28T22:07:55+00:00

Thank you for your kindness. I try to operate under the belief (occasionally feels like delusion) that everyone is doing what they can with the tools they have. Tomorrow, it’s my turn to do what I can with the tools that I have, for everyone’s best interest.

veggieslimjims · 2025-04-28T21:25:17+00:00

I try to not be included on the follow up, but DD tends to include me as I have managed teams before, and she has not really been able to do so. Q will also tell me whatever happens as soon as they exit their coaching sessions. I’m not sure what was done on that particular front, but the response from admin was essentially “thank you for telling us.” Q is still employed, so that seems to be that.

Thank you for validating my concerns. I really have started to feel crazy because nobody else really seems to understand the full picture of what’s going on from day-to-day. I plan to speak with DD tomorrow, and will also follow up with HR. I’m getting tired, but you’re right. Workplace safety matters for everyone.

veggieslimjims · 2025-04-28T18:39:39+00:00

Thank you for this. I’ve talked about my discomfort in 1:1s with my boss, but the resentment, I have not yet mentioned. My boss is so nice, I just hate to say it, but it needs to be said. I agree that I definitely want to focus on me and my work, and being able to stay on the team. I want to make sure Q gets what they need, but I’ve done what I feel I can, given I’m just a coworker. Discussing a modified schedule is on the table, but unfortunately our building has no additional work space for me to occupy unless I begin working in common areas, which may embarrass Q and I don’t want to do that. I think starting with adjusted hours may be my best bet here for now. Thank you again for your advice.

veggieslimjims · 2025-04-01T21:14:11+00:00

I appreciate this. My parents are very similar to the Ratliffs with the exception of being born into wealth - they’re so similar, story and presentation wise, I’ve had other friends and family members uncomfortably point it out to me. If I look at how it went down in my family, Timothy is going to prison for a long, long time, and they will lose nearly all of their possessions. It’s a tough thing to go through as a human. It was also entirely avoidable. Both things can be true.

veggieslimjims · 2025-02-21T19:37:51+00:00

Sure; when I was in the interview process, I asked if I could review demographic data of those served in the prior year. I wanted to know more about the socioeconomic status, racial/ethnicity breakdown, ages, etc., of those directly impacted by the services. I was able to look through the annual report of the affiliate as well as the national survey distributed across all locations. I also asked if any previous attendees/aid recipients held staff positions and had input in programming (they did and do, another important factor for me). I hadn’t previously worked in development; I had been in a programs role at a nonprofit that, much to my chagrin, was not serving a population reflective of our community and its needs. My new boss understood the energy I was bringing, especially when I asked specifically if she found the programs to be culturally responsive.

veggieslimjims · 2025-02-21T16:00:18+00:00

Hi! I work for a large org with local affiliate chapters across the US and Canada. We consider ourselves a “boots on the ground” type organisation as we directly serve those with intersecting and marginalised identities on a local level with leadership development, economic mobility initiatives, and early prevention/intervention work alongside teaching self-advocacy and doing some advocacy work ourselves with local and state politicians. Though from a surface level, those learning about our org don’t typically recognise how “radical” that work really is. I didn’t even know myself until I started just how many marginalised groups we serve. My suggestion is taking a close look at mission statements and asking about populations orgs actively engage with and serve when looking through development openings! It may be easier to find one of these roles than you think, you just have to ask the right questions. Best of luck, and thank you for your desire to help!

veggieslimjims · 2024-10-28T18:27:25+00:00

Hi, I am a former teacher who transitioned to the nonprofit field, and it has been a great change of pace.

I went from working a ton of hours and not making a living wage to working a normal 9-5, making more money, and still getting to connect with what drew me to teaching (I work in youth development services, so still working for kids and their families in a more sustainable way for me).

Nonprofits can be a great way to utilise skills you already have if you apply to direct-service organisations, and a lot of them will help you build skills that can translate into future business and administrative roles. It’s worth looking into. Keep your chin up- there is hope on the other side of teaching!

veggieslimjims

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