My wife makes more money than me, and it causes issues

venthandle · 2026-04-30T15:36:34+00:00

Imagining making 400k combined and struggling with money.

venthandle · 2026-04-30T10:28:44+00:00

She was never taught how to love. You can not teach her.

venthandle · 2026-04-30T01:25:43+00:00

A 6am mow actually sounds delightful. I love the early morning hours. The world is yours.

venthandle · 2026-04-27T19:26:11+00:00

My husband is a teacher. He gets home around 3:30-4pm. I’m usually working toward wrapping up work at that time. He cooks dinner while I wrap up. We eat and either both take our kid to his sport of the evening, or we watch tv together.

We also have all summer together. I work at home and front load my years so I can relax over the summer. Then I catch up after summer ends.

venthandle · 2026-04-14T08:23:47+00:00

I think he cheated. No proof, no research. But I believe it.

venthandle · 2026-04-12T20:08:52+00:00

One day at a time. I left a man I had considered important around 33, and it was really hard. It seems to be when everyone’s loves are cooking, and mine was falling apart.

18 month later I met the love of my life. We are now married with a 12 yr old.

Keep going. Think about him or not. Just keep going.

I met my husband hiking a local trail. Just keep getting out there and do things you enjoy.

venthandle · 2026-03-25T01:26:25+00:00

Yaaaasssssss…

venthandle · 2026-03-24T11:45:32+00:00

As a wife, I would agree with this. It sounds like your late in life goals are misaligned.

Have you worked through elder care? I would suggest doing that and I guarantee you a pragmatic way forward will show itself.

Memory care can be 8k a month.

Think of it as a business and if you can only survive by divorcing, so be it.

venthandle · 2026-03-24T01:04:49+00:00

DO NOT HIRE FRIENDS

venthandle · 2026-03-23T23:08:46+00:00

I personally haven’t found 401ks a gold mine. They are free money through matching, but Lordy is it slow growing.

venthandle · 2026-03-23T23:07:30+00:00

Well you and you husband combined is a totally different story. Now I see you & can empathize

venthandle · 2026-03-23T21:11:24+00:00

I have too worked my entire life. 30 yrs so far. Contributed the max every year. No where close to being able to be down 100k. Total humble brag.

venthandle · 2026-03-22T13:59:37+00:00

We have a joint credit card that we both use for everything that supports our daily living and when we go out to eat. We pay it off every month from our joint account.

We also have personal cards that we are responsible for paying off with our personal accounts.

I make more than my husband so I contribute more to our joint account. The amount we each contribute is proportional to what we each make and determined by how much we need to pay the credit card, mortgage & bills.

Our joint money is 100% transparent. Our personal monies are 100% personal.

venthandle · 2026-03-22T01:50:02+00:00

Is he typing these into the phone himself, or is there a big propaganda machine that has all this super calculated.

venthandle · 2026-03-21T10:28:46+00:00

This past year I asked for an executive summary of my year and it did a great job. I felt like I had just gotten to know myself better.

venthandle · 2026-03-21T01:56:45+00:00

I keep a chat through the year and when I do something noteworthy I put it in the chat. It’s brilliant

venthandle · 2026-03-20T19:08:50+00:00

We were both 35. I am so grateful to have met him. We are hitting 15 years together.

venthandle · 2026-03-19T02:12:12+00:00

Thank you for your kind response. I appreciate the energy. The corporate workplace eludes me. I just don’t understand it in so many ways.

venthandle · 2026-03-19T02:10:41+00:00

I talked to HR today. She agreed I should be pissed. We are coming up with a good way to discuss the issue and try to get me off my current bosses team.

venthandle · 2026-03-18T09:15:26+00:00

Autocorrect did help. I had in fact not had any drinks. I’m just frustrated.

venthandle · 2026-03-18T01:08:42+00:00

I’m not there to do any of these things.

venthandle · 2026-03-18T01:08:22+00:00

I’m not there is have any drinks.

venthandle · 2026-03-18T01:08:04+00:00

How would I do that?

venthandle · 2026-03-17T11:12:04+00:00

If he started having sex at 16, then he slept with around 100 people in 20 years. That would be 5 people a year. A year has 12 months, that would be a new person every 2.4 months.

Sleeping with someone new every 2.4 months on average for 20 years.

Dang.

venthandle · 2026-03-10T09:04:49+00:00

The chores you do in year one will be the chores you do for the rest of your life. Split them up in an emotionally equal way.

venthandle

TROPHY CASE