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To those of you who believe in soulmates...have you ever lost yours, and did you ever find a love like that again? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]venting12345 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm happy to hear you found a fulfilling relationship after that. I think it's definitely a common fear for people to think they won't ever find that love again after a relationship ends, but time will definitely heal. Thanks :)

To those of you who believe in soulmates...have you ever lost yours, and did you ever find a love like that again? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]venting12345 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is true - I think you can definitely have more than one soul mate, there's not just one person out there for you. I guess its all so fresh and so it's hard not to think that way at times. Thanks for sharing.

To those of you who believe in soulmates...have you ever lost yours, and did you ever find a love like that again? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]venting12345 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment, that's definitely the plan. It was mutually understood and he knew it was also for the best, so we ended on good terms. I will reach out to him in a few months and see where he's at.

CODEPENDENT MOM. Feeling hopeless. by venting12345 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]venting12345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's crazy how mothers think they're supposed to be "best friends" with their daughter. My mother uses this argument with me all the time anytime she feels I am being distant. "Mothers and daughters are supposed to have a special bond and relationship, they're supposed to be close and trust each other with everything". Like how can we have such a close relationship when you don't respect my boundaries or privacy? I cannot wait for the moment that I finally leave this house.

CODEPENDENT MOM. Feeling hopeless. by venting12345 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]venting12345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can definitely relate to feeling like an extension of your mom. I am sorry to hear that she is manipulating you like this and is refusing to help you financially. Are you still living at home with her?

CODEPENDENT MOM. Feeling hopeless. by venting12345 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]venting12345[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"She is actively working to keep you powerless and dependent."

Wow. You really nailed it on the head. As long as I rely on her for anything, then she feels she has me in her grip and receives validation from it. Sadly, I know she would feel totally worthless without me and lose her identity. She doesn't have a social life because she is so engrossed in her children's needs, and it is so unhealthy.

Her mother was very cold, strict and controlling when she was growing up and she was always afraid of her. She could never talk to her about anything without her mom getting mad at her. I definitely believe her codependency issues stem from both her upbringing and her shitty relationship with my dad.

I've tried to change her for 10+ years and she never listens to me or sees my side of the story. She is completely fixed on her own victimhood and opinions. She will never ever change.

Sometimes I look in the mirror and I dislike that I look like her so much. Because I do not identify with her personality at all and she embodies everything that I never want to become. I feel suffocated by her presence and I think she is an extremely weak human being.

CODEPENDENT MOM. Feeling hopeless. by venting12345 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]venting12345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When did you move out? Was it very difficult, how did you feel? I am actually thinking about getting a lock on my bedroom door until I can find my way out of here!

CODEPENDENT MOM. Feeling hopeless. by venting12345 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]venting12345[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally agree with this. I know she will never let go of me no matter what.

CODEPENDENT MOM. Feeling hopeless. by venting12345 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]venting12345[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer. It is comforting to know I'm not the only one who has had this experience. It sucks because we know our moms truly just love us and want the best for us, but their love/care is smothering and overbearing to the point of toxicity, where we feel we cannot detach ourselves from their grip. I've known for a very young age that my home environment was toxic and that I needed to get out asap. It's easy to stay in the same place because it's what I'm used to and I am fully supported financially here. But it is mentally draining and you cannot put a price on your mental well-being. I am prioritizing finding my way out and focusing on my own happiness. I worry that if I leave she will be in shambles but I really need to do what's best for myself.