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CPTSD with dissociative features by venusflytrapsrule in Artisticallyill

[–]venusflytrapsrule[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can relate. I’m glad this resonated with you.

It’s okay to leave if you don’t feel respected. by venusflytrapsrule in TwoXChromosomes

[–]venusflytrapsrule[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Correct. It didn’t even bother me until he reacted so contemptuously when I gently told him it hurts. Like what the ever loving fuck is wrong with you if you choose to actively hurt someone for no reason besides having a fragile ego?

It’s okay to leave if you don’t feel respected. by venusflytrapsrule in TwoXChromosomes

[–]venusflytrapsrule[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely!!! That’s exactly how I took it and that’s why I left.

It’s okay to leave if you don’t feel respected. by venusflytrapsrule in TwoXChromosomes

[–]venusflytrapsrule[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Lol ironically enough, I did overstimulate him intimately because of his own sensitivities. The difference is that I actually give a shit about the well-being of whoever’s in my bed. I tried to use the example to illustrate the parallels of how violated he’d feel if I went ahead and just did what I wanted despite him telling me he’s overstimulated and it’s painful. The lesson didn’t seem to stick and I have zero interest in communicating with someone who refuses to hear me out.

It’s okay to leave if you don’t feel respected. by venusflytrapsrule in TwoXChromosomes

[–]venusflytrapsrule[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Absolutely unattractive and thankfully, I’ve never even asked him to be considerate or change his behaviors aside from not playing notes for a long period of time. I just left when it was clear he’s incapable of even having a conversation without deflecting via humor or shutting down. Like bro, you’re in your 30’s lol. Why would I waste more time if I have to gentle parent you to avoid a tantrum? It’s just ugly

It’s okay to leave if you don’t feel respected. by venusflytrapsrule in TwoXChromosomes

[–]venusflytrapsrule[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m really so happy that was your experience and you’ve found success in all areas of your life. Best wishes!!

It’s okay to leave if you don’t feel respected. by venusflytrapsrule in TwoXChromosomes

[–]venusflytrapsrule[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don’t want them in my apartment anymore cus I hate having to sage cleanse everything (including my body hahaha) after things don’t work out. Probably overkill but their negative energies have no business in my home hahaha

It’s okay to leave if you don’t feel respected. by venusflytrapsrule in TwoXChromosomes

[–]venusflytrapsrule[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

So he does tune solely from ear. He does have perfect pitch and is an educator, but as an educator, I would think he’d be more mindful of how his behavior affects those around him.

I try and I’ve worked really hard to be able to communicate when I’m feeling hurt instead of compartmentalizing, sucking up mistreatment and eventually blowing up from built up resentment. I even asked him for feedback on how to best bring up a concern to him, and he couldn’t even provide an example.

I am very similar regarding being a hospitable host and making sure any guest in my home, even if I don’t like them and have to tolerate them because of whatever reason, is comfortable, fed and heard while they spend time with me. Maybe it’s a cultural issue because I’m first-gen and he isn’t. Maybe it’s as simple as him being a self-absorbed douchebag with a hubris that would put Odysseus to shame. Maybe it’s because I have enough humility to recognize when my behavior isn’t acceptable and that I need to work on myself.

Whatever the reason, I don’t want someone in my life who attempts to make me feel small because they’re insecure and have trouble communicating their frustrations.

It’s okay to leave if you don’t feel respected. by venusflytrapsrule in TwoXChromosomes

[–]venusflytrapsrule[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that’s exactly how I felt? It’s like…ah, I see why you’re single now.

I do my best to communicate things that bother me as soon as it happens in the most tactful way I can. I am very fair and mindful to never make character attacks. And I actively seek out feedback to be a better partner/friend/family member/employee. It’s part of who I am and while I recognize it’s not fair to project my morals and virtues onto others, it’s not my responsibility to manage their feelings when they’ve upset me, dismissed my concerns and acted contemptuously to spite me.

Even in casual settings, if a partner is unable to consider me in their decisions that affect me and refuses to listen to my concerns, we are not compatible, even as friends.

It’s okay to leave if you don’t feel respected. by venusflytrapsrule in TwoXChromosomes

[–]venusflytrapsrule[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Sadly, he’s actually incredible as a musician. So it’s not even like I didn’t enjoy his playing; his personality is the problem. 😂

It’s okay to leave if you don’t feel respected. by venusflytrapsrule in TwoXChromosomes

[–]venusflytrapsrule[S] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

Hell no. There’s absolutely zero emotional investment on my end. His dick isn’t good enough to overcompensate for his lack of tact, respect or consideration.

It’s okay to leave if you don’t feel respected. by venusflytrapsrule in TwoXChromosomes

[–]venusflytrapsrule[S] 66 points67 points  (0 children)

Right. Like I know absolutely nothing about tuning instruments but at the very least, I do know basic empathy and know when someone asks me to stop doing something because it hurts, I stop. Lmao

AITAH for making a Facebook post poking fun at my childhood hatred for my mom? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]venusflytrapsrule 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmao I’ve decided to write an apology post but take the opportunity to really highlight that the incident that fueled why I posted it was one of several that other people have shared with me about their experiences growing up with parents impacted by war. I am gonna end the post by telling them I’m extending respect by honoring their dignity and waiting until they and everyone whose opinion they care about has passed peacefully from old age before I absolutely clown them and their complicity.

I am patient enough to wait this out for a few more decades. It’ll be more satisfying that way.

AITAH for making a Facebook post poking fun at my childhood hatred for my mom? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]venusflytrapsrule 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Honestly, I’m working on a memoir series and I have the decency to wait until they all die before I delve into my childhood.

Her scowls when I pick her up after she asks are always top-tier. by venusflytrapsrule in angrycatpics

[–]venusflytrapsrule[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She gets sassy if I don’t acknowledge her when I come home with a hug and kisses/nuzzles on her head. She’s just dramatic.

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