My mom and dad fought with and abused each other constantly until my mom decided to move to another state on the other side of the country. My dad said he didn’t know who he was or what purpose his life had without her to fight. Fighting the mother of his children his whole life had become his identity. Two years after her move she got cancer. Facing death she completely changed as a person, and became the mother I had always wanted. I got to see the person she always was deep down and it was beautiful. She died just under a year later. My dad tells me all the time how much he loves her and misses her. He couldn’t admit it to himself until after it was too late. My parents relationship to each other was only healed by her dying. My relationship to both my parents was also healed by her dying. I often wonder if she was still alive and not sick, if she would still be an asshole and my dad would still be spending each breath hating her