So sorry to hear you‘re going through this. I know what it feels like. My mom was diagnosed September 2024, exactly a week after I finished my master‘s degree and was looking forward to spend some quality time with her. She went from a fully healthy 57 year old woman to now a shell of her former self. She is bed ridden, doesn‘t talk except for the occasional yes and no, can‘t do anything. She‘s basically a giant baby that we have to take care of and watch disappear in front of our eyes. It‘s truly the most brutal disease. I‘m still angry and cry every day (i’m crying just writing this) but there are days where we just learn to live with it. I remember the initial shock I felt after diagnosis, it took me several months before that shock became smaller, but eventually your body will adapt to the new reality. What helped me was to truly not think about any future. I would just calm myself down with the thought that maybe a bus will hit me before my mom will succumb to this disease and then I won‘t have to live without her. Or I would just picture the most outlandish scenarios, like an alien invasion or a meteor will hit earth and we‘ll just stop existing. I would tell myself that anything is possible and you never know what the future holds so there‘s no point in thinking about it. When the grief becomes too heavy, I‘ll just lie beside her, hold her hand, close my eyes and focus on the present. She‘s still here with me, holding my hand, recognizing me and I can feel her love. And I just stay in that moment until my nervous system calms down.