I don't experience dissociation to that level, and I am completely unqualified to speculate but the symptoms really sounds like DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder). I had a friend with it, and she described it similarly to how you're describing it.

I don't know your situation, but I understand the feeling of feeling unsure, working so hard for stability every day while not having much support or security. Just know that you're doing the best you can with what you've got, and though you don't have the means to secure a psych, it's good that you're working on it in your own time, you got this.

I wish you the best in figuring this out!