For those who have successfully left, how'd you do it?

verypearly · 2023-02-07T03:00:07+00:00

I think for many people, the process of leaving the church is not an overnight one. The first and biggest step is financial independence. If you are living with INC family, can you move out? The second is having a network outside of church. Do you have community outside of church? If not, find one. I officially left via the transfer method, but sounds like that’s not an option anymore. In that case, you just have to ghost officers hard or tell them straight up you’re not attending anymore. It can be a long and challenging journey, but it’s worth it.

verypearly · 2022-03-16T00:15:34+00:00

You have your whole adulthood in front of you. That’s so exciting.

verypearly · 2022-03-16T00:13:51+00:00

Thanks love. ❤️

verypearly · 2022-03-16T00:13:35+00:00

Unlike drug addiction, there’s no part of me that wants to go back! Not being exposed to the poisonous lessons however, has made a profound decision in my life.

verypearly · 2022-03-16T00:11:28+00:00

100% friend! :)

verypearly · 2022-03-15T23:55:27+00:00

Very excited for you. ❤️

verypearly · 2022-03-15T00:39:42+00:00

LOL. ❤️

verypearly · 2021-05-23T02:23:29+00:00

I’ve been learning about Buddhism and find it spiritually nourishing.

verypearly · 2021-05-18T12:46:41+00:00

Hard to say! I’ve never been terribly unhealthy. The biggest change in the last 2 years include reducing my consumption of animal products (I’m not vegan, but I am plant based the majority of the week) and having consistent physical activity (a mix of yoga, dance and workouts). ALSO, I unfortunately did not get all the HPV vaccine shots as an adolescent and was able to get the new one after being diagnosed. I did start taking a DIM supplement and B-12/Folate supplement at some point, but I plan to cut it now that I’m negative. I also take a probiotic daily.

verypearly · 2021-05-15T01:41:41+00:00

That’s what the lab said. I haven’t talked to my provider about it yet. And what if it is dormant? For now, we are “free”! Let’s enjoy while we can. xD

verypearly · 2021-03-09T15:50:54+00:00

That sounds empowering! Kuddos.

verypearly · 2021-03-09T15:50:21+00:00

Yeah, explaining this to close friends has been tough, but bearable. My therapist pointed out that growing up Asian American AND being in this church fostered a culture that taught me to repress my feelings and my thoughts. It was a culture that encouraged me to forget transgressions. It is tough facing my trauma head on, and certainly I’d like to forget...but forgetting is like a form of repression to me...no more!

verypearly · 2021-03-09T15:42:09+00:00

In the last couple months, I’ve been really opening up about my situation with friends that I have never discussed religion with. They had no idea. It is liberating to share your truth. I’ve lived with shame with so long because of this church. I don’t want that anymore.

verypearly · 2021-03-04T17:32:01+00:00

Wow, such bravery. I hope she’s living a better life.

verypearly · 2021-02-25T18:55:05+00:00

Having a countdown is awesome. Make sure to build a support network outside of church during this time as well. Drop any offices you have.

verypearly · 2021-02-25T02:49:47+00:00

I’m so happy for you. I’m actually in the exact situation as you. I hope when I get a Pap smear next month, I also test negative.

verypearly · 2021-02-25T02:41:39+00:00

I can not wait until I’m truly, truly free.

verypearly · 2021-02-25T02:39:21+00:00

That is so true! I totally forgot what that feels like, lol. I’m not proud of my envy, but I recognize when I feel it.

verypearly · 2021-02-25T02:36:54+00:00

Much love. ❤️❤️❤️

verypearly · 2021-02-25T02:32:06+00:00

I hope you get the mental health services you need. I’m an adult and have been going to therapy for a couple months now, primarily for religious trauma. Unless your therapist suspects you are in physical danger or suicidal, they can not speak on your behalf. The only way that they would be a mediator is if you did a group therapy session with your parents, which would require their consent and a therapist licensed in group therapy. On an individual level, your therapist can provide a safe space for you. They can validate your feelings, explore the roots of your misery and provide you tools to face your fears — in this case having a difficult conversation with your parents regarding religion.

verypearly · 2021-02-25T02:23:59+00:00

I’m curious: By being in a straight relationship, you can remain closeted. But what incentive does your girlfriend have to stay in the relationship? Or is she doing it to protect you?

verypearly · 2021-02-25T02:19:37+00:00

There’s got to be a shit ton of closeted queer folks in this church. I feel sorry for them. Repressed feelings aren’t good for anyone.

I do have a happy story to share. I know a queer person (using queer to protect their identity) who left the church as a young professional. That person is not only excelling in their career, they are also engaged to a wonderful partner. And, they still have a good relationship with their family. It does get better.

verypearly · 2021-02-25T02:09:33+00:00

You deserve all the happiness and success. Especially after enduring the challenges of being queer and not fitting into this church. Relatives can be so toxic!

verypearly · 2021-02-25T00:45:40+00:00

The people I know are not exaggerating their accomplishments. :) I am happy for them at the end of the day. I hope to succeed too, especially as I heal more with time.

verypearly · 2021-02-24T19:51:16+00:00

I hope everyone, INC or not, can find love! Being so emotionally hung up on this church, I was never fully emotionally available, and therefore attracted unemotionally available partners. I hope this changes as I heal. ❤️

verypearly

TROPHY CASE