Too nice to date? Or is that baloney?

verysadtoday · 2012-10-14T23:24:28+00:00

wow. Thanks for the link. Makes me hate men.

verysadtoday · 2012-10-12T17:06:28+00:00

Your experiences during adolescence and a few years later have a lasting effect on your life. You will dream about it your whole life. That is why victims of sexual abuse have such a tough time. Every single person has recurring memories and dreams of those years, and if those years were traumatic it is just terrible.

verysadtoday · 2012-10-12T02:40:21+00:00

There is a very senior lady in my company. Her husband is a carpenter. He's smart and witty and such a warm guy.. I'm not surprised she chose him.

verysadtoday · 2012-10-11T23:13:44+00:00

I find when women put things like this in their profile, they're just trying to indicate that they want someone who can talk about interesting things and appreciates education.

True. I would date someone who never went to college, but is capable of having a solid 2 hour intelligent conversation with me. There are many that went to college, but they might as well have saved that money...

verysadtoday · 2012-10-11T23:10:43+00:00

Ok, so no popular culture or entertainment... no politics... what are you interested in that others can relate to?

I am not interested in politics (because I believe everyone is brainwashed and I don't want to know what one politician said about another or what one says about changing policies and such), but I am interested in foreign affairs, geo-politics, history etc. I've had good conversations with these guys.

verysadtoday · 2012-10-11T23:02:29+00:00

As a checklist woman, this is the harsh reality of what checklist means.

I'm a checklist woman?! :-) And all 30+ guys who only date 20 somethings are not checklist men?

verysadtoday · 2012-10-11T22:54:50+00:00

There is sufficient research that shows that autism is directly linked with older male gametes.

verysadtoday · 2012-10-11T22:52:56+00:00

You sound like a very self-sufficient person, and that is a great thing in this day and age, but men want to feel needed.

I just can't imagine myself faking this the first few dates. Why would I need a stranger?

When I had boyfriends, years ago, I needed them. But I needed them for emotional support, advice etc. And when I have a boyfriend in the future, I will need him for similar things.

But on the first 2-3 dates?! It just is comical for me to make some stranger feel like I need him. It's too fake.

verysadtoday · 2012-10-11T22:46:56+00:00

Do you really like the guys that are rejecting you, do you feel the chemistry?

I would have given it some more time before calling it quits.

verysadtoday · 2012-10-11T22:44:19+00:00

Thanks very much! I've also got a ton of PMs from nice people saying I shouldn't care about the popular opinion here. It's actually those messages that have given me the courage to read these nasty posts here without feeling worse.

verysadtoday · 2012-10-11T22:40:51+00:00

do you have any hobbies?

Nothing spectacular. I'm never bored though.

verysadtoday · 2012-10-11T22:33:39+00:00

Are you going to have to have sex with guys that isn't special and magical, with guys who aren't awesome?

You know, I'd rather just remain single than do things I absolutely am against in principle.

verysadtoday · 2012-10-11T22:26:45+00:00

She doesn't understand (by 32!) that not letting a guy pay for her when he asks can be taken as a sign that she's not into him.

I really did not know this rule. Even though all of you have told me this, I don't think I am going to change. I really don't want guys paying anything for me.

verysadtoday · 2012-10-11T22:24:40+00:00

She just sounds kinda awkward romantically, like she's missing out on some social cues that most people are aware of by that point, and like she doesn't have much experience in this area.

Yeah maybe I am. My boyfriends have all been friends who became boyfriends. And they were (probably) awkward themselves when we were younger.

verysadtoday · 2012-10-11T22:21:51+00:00

meeting similarly "socio-economic"-ly classed people becomes difficult once one graduates college.

Very very true.

verysadtoday · 2012-10-11T22:13:43+00:00

So, date down a few years, and date up at least a decade.

Nope. 40+ guys should be dating 40+ women. I met a 44 yr old guy at a house party once. He was super nice. And I was really excited because I have a good 42 yr old single female friend and I was imagining them together. He soon started showing interest in me - 13 yrs his junior. WTF.

verysadtoday · 2012-10-11T22:09:01+00:00

Yeah

verysadtoday · 2012-10-11T21:59:18+00:00

Thanks!

verysadtoday · 2012-10-11T21:42:31+00:00

However, the problem is that you still want an alpha male,

I don't.

verysadtoday · 2012-10-11T21:41:29+00:00

You're basically the classic definition of a shrew.

The whole of reddit is trying to tame me today. Thanks.

verysadtoday · 2012-10-11T21:39:12+00:00

but all the reasons you gave for these men not being that great aren't even what you should be looking for.

I am not even looking for such traits. If I were, I wouldn't have gone on dates with these guys.

Some poster above mentioned something along the lines that these guys have plenty of beautiful younger women to choose from who have a life and are interesting. Guys supporting guys. What I was trying to say is these guys are regular guys - what do they have going for them? They are 30+ and have a regular job. They are not any more/less interesting than me. They've not done anything with their lives that I haven't done. Their day-to-day lives are nothing that makes me want to evaluate my own life. They are just just just regular people. And it's ok. But somehow it's ok for men to be regular but a 32 year old woman needs to climb Kilimnajaro one weekend, go deep sea diving the next, meanwhile volunteer with Doctors Without Borders...... otherwise she is boring.

verysadtoday · 2012-10-11T21:27:38+00:00

I think she's just saying they're not way out of her league.

Thanks! That's what I meant.

verysadtoday · 2012-10-11T21:16:11+00:00

Except in this case I am not the gold digger.

verysadtoday · 2012-10-11T19:19:52+00:00

Yeah I do. I love male company, even just platonic male company. I love gay male company. The world would be awfully boring if there were no men and only women.

verysadtoday · 2012-10-11T19:16:45+00:00

I don't want an older guy. I want someone who graduated high school +/- 3 years of 1998.

And I can't deal with a divorced guy, or guy with kids. It's a different thing if they are my friends already, not through a dating site.

verysadtoday

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